Do you feel angry all the time? There may be some hidden reasons for that.

Is your anger getting out of control? Is it getting harder and harder to stop flaring up at people? Do you wonder why you always tend to use anger instead of other emotions in stressful situations?

Getting angry is not productive, it can be scary for those around you and it rarely solves a problem. If you are always using anger and cannot seem to break out of this tendency, it might be useful to understand where your anger is coming from.

Angry responses do not appear out of thin air. They are typically attached to another feeling and are often covering those other feelings up. What your job is to decide what those other feelings are and then to tackle them, in order to break the anger cycle.

Here are ten possible things that may be making you feel angry:


Fear is often the root cause of most people’s anger. Whether that fear is losing someone or something, fear of looking stupid, of getting hurt or losing control. You lash out in response to this fear.

You should ask yourself, what the worst thing that can happen is and how you can deal with it in a rational way.


Feeling helpless is not the same as fear, but pretty similar. You might feel powerless over a situation at work where your boss has threatened to sack workers, or it might be a health scare that you have no control over.

Getting angry won’t solve these dilemmas, putting in practical solutions will.


It is easy to vent your frustration through anger. Imagine being held up in a traffic jam for ages while you are running late for work. Or trying to get through to a complaints department about some shoddy goods and you are waiting on hold. Your frustration can slip quickly into anger in seconds.

Next time you feel this happening, count to ten and try to see the bigger picture. A few minutes late will not be the end of the world if you call work and let them know what is going on. Knowing what to do next takes away this frustration.


Sometimes a current situation instantly takes you back to a bad experience and you feel like that little boy or girl lost again. It could even take you back to a previous relationship where you were made to feel like nothing.

Recognising that the anger you feel at this present moment has nothing to do with your current situation is the key to dispersing your negative emotions.


It might be that you have just got into a bad habit of using anger as your default setting, and people around you are enabling it by not commenting on your behaviour. Sometimes anger gets a problem solved the fastest because no one wants to have to confront an angry person. But it is a very bad thing to rely on, especially in the workplace, and at home.

It takes a strong person to recognise that this is what they are using anger for, but all habits can be changed, Ask your family or work colleagues to help you next time you show signs of aggression.


Being mentally exhausted can sometimes mean that you are just too tired to deal with stressful situations that occur. In these instances, you resort to anger to get them away from you as quickly as possible. It could be that you are a new mum or dad and your baby is crying a little too much and you cannot handle it through lack of sleep.

If you are overly tired, talk to friends and family members and ask for help. It is not a sign of weakness.


Getting angry because you feel jealous of someone or something is a real red flag. Both emotions are particularly negative but combined can be a dangerous mix. If you feel angry because you do not have what someone else does, or what they have achieved should really be a wake-up call to your own life, not theirs.

Turn these jealous feelings into a positive message to yourself and use it to boost your own dreams and ambitions.


Anger does not only arise from confident powerful individuals, it can come from those who hold less self-esteem. Those who seek approval from their peers in order to increase their own self-confidence can feel incredibly let down if they do not get the right responses. They may be hurting inside but instead they react with anger.

If you find that you are constantly wanting validation from others for your own self-esteem, you need to find it yourself. As the old saying goes, ‘You can’t love someone until you love yourself’.


This is probably the most common reason people feel angry, but it covers a great many areas. You can be hurt by a betrayal, for a loss, a snub, a lie, being ignored, and many other different reasons.

Dealing with the underlying feelings of hurt will get you closer to understanding why you use anger in response to them. Do you feel rejected or less of a person and acting in anger boosts you up?


Getting angry in order to manipulate people so that they do not back down is pretty hard-core. This suggests you seriously like controlling people and have a Machiavellian way of thinking.

It would probably be quite hard for you to stop using anger as a manipulation tool but one way to deal with this is to see how you would like it if someone used anger on you to get you to do things.

Do you think that any of the above-described things could explain why you often feel angry? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below.

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This Post Has 3 Comments

  1. Stephen Michael Kuhn

    Anger has been an issue in my life – for a vast portion of it; being the smallest/shortest, being picked on, being a loner, having a surname that can be used as ammunition towards me, level of intelligence, choice of musical instrument to play – and then years of alcohol addiction…needless to say, anger has been rife and woven throughout my life…

    In coming into recovery – coming to grips with all the emotional facets and ego facets to my addiction – coming to understand and identify the various types of anger and causes of anger (amongst other things), it’s been relatively easy to either control or eliminate nearly all of the “anger” – it’s all perception, really…and in being able to perceive and envision “life without anger, fear and anxiety”, it’s extremely easy to pick it when it’s coming, or attempting to come…

    That being said, something that should be considered is diet – sometimes anger is not necessarily coming from a reality or perceived reality, it gets motivated by chemical imbalances in the body…and oft times not really considered.

    I bring this up because in eliminating “anger” from my life, I found that by also eliminating particular foods and chemicals, there was a decrease (huge decrease) in the physical “urge” towards anger. Iodised salt, white refined sugars, caffeine, fatty fried foods, red meat (only eaten on occasion), “junk food”, fast foods (McDonalds, Burger King/Hungry Jacks, etc etc etc), fizzy drinks (Coke, Pepsi – et al)…and eating more fresh, uncooked vegetables, fruits, WATER, fresh fish, free-range eggs and chicken (no steroids or chemicals)…in a short amount of time, the effects are extremely pronounced (as if none of this is already known, already been splayed across the net for years, known to particular groups of spiritual seeks for millennia).

    Living on a day to day basis without the “toxins” of anger is an amazingly wonderful experience – liberating. “You are what you eat.” is truly something that needs to be brought a bit further into the limelight…IMHO and personal experience.

    Peace and blessings.

    1. Stacey Webster

      Stephen Michael Kuhn,

      Thank you for your thoughtful comment. I also deal with anger on a daily basis. I find many articles telling me how to recognize it or what causes it, but few about how to remedy it. I have attempted counseling on numerous occasions to no avail. This is something I apparently have to figure out on my own. Thank you for your insight. It is helpful.

  2. Saskia

    Sometimes, anger goes deeper than all of these things, but is a ‘blend’ of different ones. We all get taught what it means to live a good life, or to be productive and successful. Those rules vary enormously depending on who we are: a smart introverted boy might be told to focus on his studies as a way of “finding happiness” later in life whilst a bubbly, extroverted girl might be taught to embellish her appearance as a way of finding approval. In that example, both children might do everything they believe is expected of them only to discover it didn’t lead to the outcome they wanted. This can lead to all sorts of jealousy, resentment, guilt, regret. We get tunnelled into these roles before we know any better: maybe the bubbly girl would’ve been happier in life if she’d become a scientist. Maybe the boy could have joined the theatre or become a champion sportsperson if he’d been encouraged to do that instead. It’s possible to feel so much anger about where we are in life without ever being aware of how many decisions were made for us.

    Another example: trauma. Traumatised kids are always taught to do X, Y, Z thing in order to grow up and be happy. But that mostly amounts to running away from the traumatic experience. Non-traumatised kids are taught to explore the world around them, and they know they’ll be loved whether they achieve X, Y, Z or not. This makes it much easier to achieve things. They’re actually building towards something rather than running away from it. So every milestone is a boost in confidence. For trauma survivors, no milestone ever feels like we’ve run far enough away. Two adults can be at exactly the same place in life and one may feel jealous, angry, resentful and misunderstood because they are mired down in the daily reality of pain and disappointment, whilst the other is perfectly content and looking forward to their future. You can say that this is all about perspective, but in the cause of the trauma survivor, it’s not entirely their fault that they developed that perspective in the first place. It’s all about the narratives we place on people.

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