The lies people tell themselves are damaging instead of productive. In fact, these little fallacies can steal happiness, stunting our emotional growth.
If you say you’ve never told yourself a lie, then you’re lying. I mean, you’ve probably believed a few false things about yourself for years. These could be negative lies about your self-esteem, or they could be an over-inflated image of yourself. Either way, these lies can cost you your happiness.
The lies people tell themselves
These untruths we tell ourselves can be small or gigantic. Either way, they’re just not true. Finding our truth isn’t always easy to do, either. I know I’ve lied to myself for many years. I also think that it takes many years for us to become mature enough to see our identity.
To better ourselves, we must come face to face with our own misconceptions. We must become familiar with our actions. So, here are the common lies people tell themselves… that ultimately stand in their way.
1. “If I could only ___ then I would be happy”
Go ahead, fill in the blanks. What have you told yourself that you must achieve before you can be happy? Is it to be married? Is it to get a better job?
Well, whatever you tell yourself that you must do will not satisfy you. The lie is that, as humans, we are rarely satisfied. We go from one achievement to the next, thinking we will satisfy that never-ending urge, but we do not. Instead, maybe we should just practice being happy in the present.
2. “I do not regret a thing”
Even when you stand proud and proclaim that you have no regrets, inside, you know that’s not true. And regretting things from the past is not the same as regretting where you are in life now.
Here’s how this lie is damaging: When you never regret anything, then you cannot grow from your mistakes. And from the moment of no regret, you give yourself permission to not care about what you do or what you say.
3. “I don’t have time for anything.”
One of the most common limitations we set on ourselves is time. We never have time to visit friends, we never have time to work on projects, and it seems we never have time to take a holiday either.
While you may be telling everyone that you have no time, this is also one of the lies people tell themselves. If you want to accomplish something, you will find the time. Your dreams are not unreachable, and when you think they are, you’re definitely not happy.
4. “I have bad luck all the time.”
One of the common lies people tell themselves is that they are unlucky. I hate to tell you this, but you are neither lucky nor unlucky. With the lottery, for instance, winners are born from statistics and chance. More than likely, when playing the lottery, you will not win.
So, saying that you are unlucky when you don’t win something is just silly. Yes, you are unique, but just as unique as everyone else when it comes to a thing called “luck”. If you build your life on the luck you think you have, then life will disappoint you.
5. “I never stood a chance at life.”
Listen, this is just not true. Although your life may have been traumatic, it wasn’t all bad. There was someone along the way that gave you a chance to be better, do better, and heal. Granted, there may not have been many of those people, but I’m sure there was, at least, one.
You had a chance at life, and you still do. Telling yourself this lie just compounds your negativity. And in case you don’t get any more chances, it could be your own fault.
6. “I cannot live without___.”
Again, fill in that blank for me. What or who do you think you cannot live without? Now, tell me, do you really think your life would be over if this person or object were gone? No, it would not.
Have you invested too much energy in others, to the point of obsession and codependency? If you’ve done this for years, you might feel like you would die without them.
Here’s the truth: there is nothing and no one that should ever rule your life to this degree. You can get over anything or anybody with the strength of a healthy mindset.
7. “This is just who I am”
While this may sound like confidence, wise up. There is a difference between having confidence in yourself and being stubborn. Saying that, “This is just who I am” shows that you aren’t that willing to change or improve yourself.
It’s saying yes to procrastination, being late, and having a bad temper. And these are just some of the excuses for bad behavior. As you can see, the lies people tell themselves can sometimes masquerade as a characteristic. It’s not. It’s just a lie.
Are you lying to yourself right now?
Are you reading this post as we speak and saying, “Well, that’s not me.” Hey, maybe it’s not, but then again, think about it a while longer.
Many of these statements are extremely common and seen as normal. If you can read through these common lies and you don’t see yourself, then bravo. Maybe you see others in these statements. If so, you can gently remind them of the truth.
But for now, take care and always strive to be self-aware through introspection and honesty. That is where you can find true happiness.
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