Do you really think everyone is truly happy? Well, some of them are. But maybe you are secretly unhappy and carrying a fake smile like many others.
I am unhappy, and to some, I am secretly unhappy because I choose to focus on their issues instead of my own. So, I appear content. When I’m alone, however, I feel the weight of despair and keep looking for ways to reconcile my unhappiness with decisions.
I share this about myself because being secretly unhappy will drain you. If you’re trying to make it through life hiding a bag of negative feelings, eventually that bag is going to burst. It could cause serious damage to you and to others.
Are you secretly unhappy? There are ways to reveal the truth about this.
Signs of your secret unhappiness
I bet you didn’t know that some people can see through your fake veneer of cheerfulness and bliss. Yes, they can. But what’s important is that you come to realize just how unhappy you are. Here are a few truths that reveal your true state of mind.
1. Sleeping too much
If you’re sleeping too much and you’re not sick, then it could be that you’re trying to escape reality. Unhappy people either address problems, deny problems, or temporarily escape from problems.
Sleeping is a way to temporarily escape from what’s hurting you. That’s why sleeping a lot is a sign that you may not be as happy as everyone thinks.
2. Never talking about your life
When spending time with friends, if you never talk about what’s going on in your life, then it could mean you’re unhappy. Best friends often exchange pleasantries about their family life, but when one friend keeps everything hidden, they’re having problems.
So, when you talk with your best friend, you may deflect attention off yourself and focus on what’s going on with them.
3. Giving short answers
When you’re constantly giving short answers to people, then you might be unhappy and unwilling to admit the fact. The short answers say, “Leave me alone”, but without saying this. You’re just unhappy and don’t want to talk about it, neither do you wish to burden anyone else.
4. Weight gain/weight loss
Fluctuations in weight can sometimes reveal that you’re a secretly unhappy person. If you’re eating too much, you’re often mindlessly eating in front of the television trying to forget your problems.
On the other hand, if you’re hardly eating at all, your unhappiness has killed your appetite. You often must remind yourself to eat. Your eating patterns are a noticeable sign.
5. Too much time on social media
First, truly happy people scroll through social media sometimes. But if you’re constantly scrolling and refreshing the page, you could be unhappy and trying to find joy from something online.
Sometimes you try to find happiness by reading positive quotes, and then sometimes you do the opposite by reading negative headlines to make your life seem better in comparison. This is an unhealthy indicator that you’re not happy at all.
6. Letting yourself go
In the past, you may have dressed up, put on makeup, and went out every now and then. But now, you sometimes even forget to comb your hair or bathe.
So many mornings, you crawl out of bed and just go through the day barely put together. You’re unable to admit it, but unhappiness has stolen your desire to appreciate yourself and your hygiene.
7. You have dead eyes
There’s an indicator of unhappiness that may not be as noticeable. But if you pay attention to your close friends, you can see it. Have your friends ever told you that your eyes look strange, or they look dead?
You see, when a person is truly happy, their eyes are bright and more animated. When they are unhappy, they are weak and dull. If you look in the mirror and see dead and dull eyes, admit it to yourself – you’re unhappy.
8. Passion is gone
You used to love to do certain things, but now that passion is gone. Is it because you’ve found something else you like to do, or are you secretly unhappy?
When someone is unhappy, they no longer enjoy the things they used to love. It’s like there’s no longer meaning in life. If you recognize this, then you’re unhappy. There’s no doubt about it.
9. You are too happy
Sometimes you can tell you’re unhappy when you try too hard to be happy. If you’re constantly telling jokes or trying to make everyone else in your life feel good, it could be that you’re miserable. Some so many people fall into a deep depression as they’ve made everyone else extremely happy.
10. No eye contact
A liar is one type of person who doesn’t make eye contact, but there’s another type of person as well. If you are secretly unhappy, you will also have a hard time making eye contact with others.
You’re so afraid they will see the unhappiness in your eyes. As I mentioned before, the dead eyes will reveal the truth.
Moving from being secretly unhappy to true happiness
I’ve been stuck in unhappiness so many times, and now struggling with it again. But it’s okay because, like before, I know I will find the way out. I will say, however, that the first step is admitting to yourself that you’re unhappy. Then you can take steps to change or eliminating things that cause your unhappiness.
Happiness comes from within, but outside forces can steal those feelings if you let them. Always strive to find that true happiness inside of you.
Oh my my, you have hit the nail right on the head, Sherrie! I am deeply unhappy but trying my best to attend to my life. Sometimes I get so tired of it, but the only alternative will (in the end) not help either. What I have learned is that you cannot run away from your problems. You must deal with them, live them.
What you say is true. We must face up to things and work things out somehow. Remember, there’s hope, always hope. And when you come to terms with your unhappiness, it opens doors so you can decide what your part can be in making life better. We cannot change others, we can only truly change ourselves. This foundation is a changed mindset. When we change our mindset, we will stop running and we will be stronger for it too.