Have you ever asked yourself, “Why am I so unhappy“? I think we all have. You could be unhappy and never notice.

Are you happy? Are you sure? Take a moment and genuinely experience your emotions. Try and remember the last time you smiled or laughed. Maybe it wasn’t too long ago, and maybe it was even today.

But that doesn’t matter when it comes to reality. You can laugh, you can smile, and you can say a few kind words, but you can actually be dying inside. Can you feel it now? There could be signs you’ve overlooked that scream that you’re unhappy.

Why am I so unhappy?

Everything can look almost perfect, and life may seem likes it’s going your way, when in truth, you’re unhappy. Why are you so unhappy? Hey, why does anyone feel this way?

You may not have a clue why you have this darkness in the pit of your stomach that keeps nagging at you. Why is this happening? Well, there are subtle reasons that could lead you to the answer.

1. You’re lazy

Did you know that being lazy could be a cover for something deeper? Oh yes, watching television all day or laying around doing nothing could mean you’re actually unhappy. When you start losing that bursting joy you used to have, you’ll notice you also become more sedentary.

This doesn’t mean enjoying downtime is bad. It just means your happiness could be drowning in potato chips and pajamas. You’ve probably not even noticed just how comfortable in this state you’ve become.

2. No social life

There’s nothing wrong with introverts, but even introverts have a certain type of social life. It just happens to be with a couple of friends or only one.

If your social life is completely non-existent, then it’s possible that you’re really unhappy and haven’t noticed your circle getting smaller and smaller. Eventually, you’ll notice your not even going out at all anymore. Yes, unhappiness could be the culprit.

3. Focused on perfection

One subtle sign of unhappiness is when you’re too focused on getting everything done perfectly. You know, it’s okay to accomplish some ‘good enough’ things. That is more than fine.

There will always be imperfections, and if you try to make everything turn up perfect, you will end up extremely unhappy, and never even know the weight of your feelings.

4. You’re over-thinking

Are you still asking, “why am I so happy?” If so, then you could be thinking a bit too much about the same things. Over and over you could be ruminating, trying to figure out things that could fix themselves, or even things that cannot be changed.

Many people overthink and never realize just how unhappy they are. Is this you? Are you over-analyzing some situations in your life?

5. You’re negative

You would think it’s obvious that a negative person isn’t happy, but some think they are. However, you cannot be truly happy if you’re negative most of the time. While it’s quite okay to speak negatively about some things and even have negative thoughts, it’s not okay to dwell in this dark place too long.

It’s a subtle lie that tells you everything is okay when you’re not happy at all. In fact, there is little you truly enjoy if negativity rules your life.

6. You’re materialistic

I might be smiling in my new dress, but deep down inside, I may also be wondering why I’m so unhappy. Material goods do not spell happiness, and it’s taking me a while to understand this.

Listen, there’s nothing wrong with buying things, oh no, but when you invest your emotions into material things, you sell yourself cheap. One almost hidden sign that you’re unhappy is making money just to spend it on things, while the true happiness of human connection is being neglected.

7. A captive of the past

Living in the past, although it feels cozy and warm at times can halt your true happiness. Have you ever taken out old letters, read them, and ended up in tears? Truth be told, some of those tears could have come from happy moments in those letters.

The sad part is many times, those letters are written by someone in your family who is no longer in your life. We read letters, we look at old photographs and we sometimes get stuck there.

This is definitely a reason we’re not happy. Unfortunately, we have to leave some things behind and live in the here and now.

Check your happiness level

“Why am I so unhappy?”, you ask. Well, it’s probably because you’re doing many things that contradict what cultivates happiness. To be happy is to be okay with yourself and others, to spend time with loved ones, and not always get lost in what used to be.

Happiness is also a stark contradiction to negativity and laziness. And happiness cannot be found in a pair of shoes or a bottle of perfume. Neither can it be found in a brand new car.

The truth is that happiness is a state of mind despite anything else in the world. So if you’re wondering why you’re not happy, pay attention to the signals. When you understand why then work on making a change. It’s okay, I often lose my happiness as well, so we can work on this together.

Good luck!


  1. https://www.lifehack.org
  2. https://www.huffpost.com

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This Post Has 2 Comments

  1. Kellly

    And these days with the Covid pandemic who actually feels safe having a social life any more? It’s winter and cold so outdoor meetings can be uncomfortable. Big group gatherings are out of the question for those who take the pandemic guidelines seriously. Saying “hi” to che checker in the grocery store hardly fills the definition of social engagement.

  2. Sherrie Hurd, A.A.

    I can imagine it’s quite difficult for anyone with a smidgen of an extroverted personality. For me, it’s easy, so maybe I can help.

    No, it’s not easy to socialize, so it’s time to read a book, a paper one, that is. Yes, sure, we can binge-watch show after show, but we must still get away from the screen, even when trapped inside so much. Hey, I started making knotted bracelets like in high school, it’s just a silly little hobby, but it was something else to interest me. I noticed that I could paint, write on paper with a pen for a change, play with my pets, go in the yard and find natural beauties.
    Hey, I got lonely too when everyone else was at school or work as these places started opening up. So, i just talked out loud, not necessarily talking to myself, but maybe just talking to the house and the atmosphere. I would go outside and talk to nature. It was nice.
    My brother gifted me a record player for Christmas, so I played records and danced. My spirits were often lifted and as I grew tired from dancing, I fell on the floor and laughed.

    Look, I’m a negative sort of person. Look what I did. And when I got extra adventurous, I would dress up and play pretend just like when I was a little girl…Just put on a show right there in my living room. I would just sing my heart out. Screw a pandemic. Be a one-man greatest show on earth!

    But seriously, hope things get better for you. Sending love, hugs, and the imaginary.

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