We all know relationships are about compromise, compassion, and understanding. But what if you are the one constantly giving, changing your behavior, or saying anything to keep the peace? These are all signs you are begging for love. So, what are the signs?
12 Signs You Are Begging for Love
1. You’ll say/do anything to keep your partner
When we fear losing someone, we say or do anything to keep the relationship. We don’t consider what the relationship will be like if our partner stays. Our focus is on now, not tomorrow.
2. You accept abuse/mistreatment
Do you accept mistreatment or abuse? That shows you value the relationship more than yourself. The relationship is more important than your personal worth, so you put up with unacceptable behavior.
3. You stay silent to keep the peace
Being able to talk openly and honestly is fundamental to a good relationship. When you stay silent, you put your feelings and desires to one side. This isn’t healthy. In healthy relationships, no one person has power over another.
4. You are clingy and need constant validation
When we feel loved and appreciated, we don’t need constant declarations of love. We are secure in the love from our partner. Their actions and words give us the validation we need. If you are clingy and have to ask whether your partner loves you, it could be a sign you are begging for love.
5. You accept the bare minimum
Friends with benefits is an example of accepting the bare minimum. You want more commitment, but you accept less.
6. Your relationship is the most important thing in your life
One sign you are begging for love is when you equate happiness with your relationship. You can’t be happy unless you are in a relationship. This leads to accepting unsuitable partners.
7. You change your behavior to appease your partner
Have you adapted your behavior to appease your partner? Do you keep quiet about certain topics because you don’t want to upset them? Or have you stopped seeing friends and family because they don’t like your partner?
Compromising is all part of a healthy relationship, but if you are the one making all the changes, it could be a sign of begging.
8. You give more than your partner
Are you always giving more than your partner? I’m not just talking about birthdays and Christmas. Do you always cook and clean? Do you suggest where to eat or holiday? Couples often go through the ebb and flow of one person doing everything, but if it’s always been you, it’s a sign you are begging for love.
9. You threaten to harm yourself
One of the biggest signs you are begging for love is the threat of harming yourself. Have you told your partner you were going to end things? This is drastic and disturbing, but just imagine having to stay with someone to prevent them from hurting themselves?
10. You are always available for your partner
We all have important lives, and we prioritize certain people in our lives. However, if you are always changing your schedule to be with your partner, it’s not a good sign.
This shows you’re always available, and it diminishes your worth. It’s also irritating to those around you when you cancel at the last minute.
11. You’d rather be in a poor relationship than be alone
Sometimes the fear of being alone makes us stay in an unhealthy relationship. We crave love so much we put up with the wrong person, and because this person isn’t right for us, they neglect our needs, and we end up begging for love anyway.
12. You are the one who initiates everything
Would you see your partner if you didn’t text or call? Perhaps you’d never go out if you didn’t arrange it, or maybe you’d never have a conversation if you didn’t start it? Ask yourself, why are you doing all the work? If your partner isn’t bothered, it’s a sign that you are begging for love.
Why do some people beg for love?
There are several reasons people beg for love:
- They don’t feel worthy of love
- They are desperate or needy
- They have suffered childhood abuse
- They are terrified of being alone
- They have very low self-esteem
- They are vulnerable
What happens when you beg for love?
Unfortunately, begging for love has the opposite desired effect. Those on the receiving end feel pressured and trapped. Partners become resentful. Begging for love often pushes people away.
Even if you persuade your partner to stay, the relief is temporary. With such a power imbalance, the relationship is unlikely to survive long-term.
What can you do if you recognize signs you are begging for love?
- Focus on your confidence and feelings or self-esteem.
- Concentrate on your job, hobbies and activities you like doing.
- Invest your time in people that deserve it, such as friends and family.
- Don’t rely on others for your happiness.
- Be content with the single life until someone deserving comes along.
- Ask yourself how you would feel if someone begged you for love?
Final thoughts
We all want to be loved, and there’s nothing wrong with that. However, no one should have to beg. Genuine love comes from a place of mutual respect, trust, and compassion.
When you are with the right person, you’ll never have to beg for love. If you spot the signs you are begging for love, it means you are in the wrong relationship.
References:
- psychologytoday.com
- Featured image by macrovector on Freepik
Thank you for this information Janey. A tough read. Ticks a lot of boxes of abuse. Begging is a behavior of an abused person. A behavior a person with a large God-like ego expects. Not even God wants us to beg—He only wants us to be the better person.