There are three ways to deal with problems: emotion, appraisal, and problem-focused coping. Let’s take a look at problem-focused coping and when it should be used. I hate when life throws a curveball, don’t you? Well, when problems occur, it makes sense to tackle that problem as soon as possible.…
The INFJ door slam is the way this personality type deals with toxic people. Why and how does it happen and, most importantly, how to avoid being door-slammed? Out of all the 16 Myers-Briggs personality types, the INFJ is the rarest, making up only 1 to 2 percent of the…
Adult children of alcoholics suffer far beyond those traumatic years of watching their parents destroy themselves. There are damages left behind. Statistics are startling. The truth is, over 6 million children grow up with one or both parents stricken by alcoholism. In 1970, ALCOA (adult children of alcoholics) was formed,…
Would you be able to recognise the signs of coercive control if it was present in your relationship? I thought I would, but it is only after years of reflection that I realise I was being controlled in a number of ways. The thing about coercive control is that it’s…
Narcissistic abuse has the power to hold its victim for long periods of time. There are phases of this abuse which alternate between rage and peace, which confuse and bewilder. I was married to a narcissist for over 20 years. When someone finally saw the truth of my abusive relationship,…
Do the effects of bullying in childhood reach into adulthood? One of my first memories of school is a scene where a crowd of children are throwing stones at a girl behind the playing fields. I wasn’t part of the crowd, but as they walked away, the girl looked at me.…
The worst part of emotional manipulation is not feeling and going through this struggle. No, the most horrible part of enduring this abuse is repeating it with others. I’m going to be honest with you, I have endured emotional manipulation since as far back as I can remember. No, there…
Children of abusive parents don’t just suffer at the time the abuse is taking place, but later on in life as well. It’s not surprising that being a child of abusive parents leaves such long-lasting scars on one's soul. Consider that as children we are forming our most important attachments…