Loners are some of the most intellectual and loyal people you would ever meet.

In fact, their intelligence makes them capable of being content in solitude. That’s why I grow weary of all the negative talk about those who wish to enjoy time alone, away from the multitude.

Being a loner doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. If you think this way, you’re wrong. It’s not my opinion, it’s fact. You didn’t write the alphabet and you didn’t make the rules. There are many ingredients in the soup! Let me sort this out for you. I believe a little snatching up and rearranging is due.

First off, I’m not attacking anyone, I’m standing up for the little man, the one in the dark corner and the one who’s been bullied far too long. In fact, I would love to help you get to know the loner, the introvert, the confident and quiet intellectual. Hopefully, you are no longer offended and maybe even a little curious about the loner. First, I need to clear something up.

There are two types of loners

The loner isn’t always an introvert, actually. Sometimes, the loner has a perfect ability to make friends, socialize and even get loads of attention. It’s just that they prefer to be alone. They have friends too!

Loners have the ability to make top-notch friends because they choose to choose carefully. Their friends are usually in a small group as well. Extroverted loners are picky about their time, selfish even, meaning they love to learn about themselves and continually learn things about life as well.

And no, that doesn’t mean they are self-absorbed. I’m not positive because I am a rather introverted loner, but extroverted loners probably don’t have time for small talk either.

Jonathon Cheek, psychologist at Wellesley College, said,

Some people simply have a low need for affiliation.”

On the flip side, the introverted loner is a little different. They have issues with large crowds of people, it’s not just a choice. Introverts feel safer alone, there is no risk of social awkwardness or rejection.

Although they might choose animal friends over human counterparts, as many of us do, introverted loners still care. They are intelligent and find ways to socialize a bit through online communications rather than events or concerts, which can be devastating to their peace of mind.

Some think being an introverted loner is unhealthy. They feel that enforced alone time is close to anxiety. I can understand this personally, as I have endured panic attacks when experiencing the chaotic environment of an amusement park.

This is because introverts can be victims of stimulus overload! Introverted loners need more time for meditation and pampering the senses.


I hope this helps, both you and me, because there are so many reasons, to be honest, as to why someone would choose more alone time. It could be heredity, the desire for privacy or even the result of not having many friends as a child.

And don’t forget, being a loner is not the same as being lonely. I, for one, spent an entire year as a single mom with joint custody. I missed my children when they were away but it was not because I was alone.

The weeks that I was by myself, I met myself. I got to know who I was and what I liked about myself. This was an invaluable time that I used to learn that I needed no one to tell me who I was or how I should feel. I spent time with me and found some solid foundation on which to stand my ground, as needed. I embraced being a loner.

Loners are some of the most intellectual and loyal people you will ever meet. They can also be dangerous. Why, you ask. Because they already know what they are capable of and they no longer have to pretend. Knowledge, to the loner, is not intimidating. It is simply another opportunity to realize the strength of solitude.

Never look down on the loner. And loners, never look down on the social butterflies either.

It’s better if we work together and appreciate our differences. That’s where true intelligence and loyalty lie.

Copyright © 2012-2024 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.

power of misfits book banner desktop

Like what you are reading? Subscribe to our newsletter to make sure you don’t miss new thought-provoking articles!

This Post Has 18 Comments

  1. Priya Patel

    This definitely made me feel better! Thanks for sharing!

  2. Slappy

    First type, yes that’s me. I’m a musician, majored in Science and Arts, woodworker, handyman, chef.

  3. Martha

    I was definitely the first type in my younger years. Now I definitely see myself as blend of theater with stronger leanings toward the second type. Thank you for writing this article.

  4. Thomas

    Yes I’m defiantly the second type I thought I was alone and didn’t know what was wrong with me for so long do you have any advice for someone who is still trying to figure all this out… I don’t say this often but I need your help

  5. Prinz

    I live in a community where everyone thinks you’re “the devil” i.e full of evil thoughts simply because you much prefer solitude. I completely think my world is a better place with no one involved in my life and I have no plans whatsoever of ditching that personal conviction. I totally disagree when I hear people say “no one is an island”. I just hope that people get to realise facts gradually.

  6. Miguel

    I realized how shitty of a person I truly am. thanky uou

  7. cathy

    I am a loner and love it. I have no need for social interaction unless i choose to. after working in the city and being bombarded daily —— with hateful individuals, i love my solitude

  8. Flash

    This really resonated with me and i felt validated!! “The loner isn’t always an introvert, actually. Sometimes, the loner has a perfect ability to make friends, socialize and even get loads of attention. It’s just that they prefer to be alone.

  9. Happy and content as a Loner

    I Love this I am a loner and love being one, I have few friends because I am picky and I do not do large crowds, or events, I love doing my photography, crochet, jewelry and I’m happy as can be. I don’t feel the need for being popular at all, I’d rather have one best friend then ten friends. That’s just how I love being. Even as a kid I had two best friends and we were happy and content. My spouse at the time could never understand that,

  10. Sherrie Hurd, A.A.


    Thank you for reading. I am so glad it helped.

  11. Sherrie Hurd, A.A.


    Thank you for reading. Loners get lonely less often too.

  12. Sherrie Hurd, A.A.


    Thank you for reading. You guys make writing so worth it.

  13. Sherrie Hurd, A.A.


    Some of my advice may not make you ecstatic. My own advice to myself often doesn’t make me all that happy either. While it is perfectly fine to be alone, you should try just a pinch of social interaction. However, when you start to feel uncomfortable, listen to yourself. If you happen to go out with a friend to try being social, but in the process, you get overwhelmed, do ask to be taken home. Better yet, take your own car.

    Dipping your toes into social aspects isn’t dangerous, but not listening to your true feelings can be. Introverts love being home alone, I know I do. So, my advice is just to do what makes you feel comfortable and learn to say, “no” more often. Taking your power and control back will help you navigate this area. You are normal and others need to understand that what you feel and prefer is valid. Practice no, practice dipping your toes in social environments, and leave and ask for privacy as needed.

  14. Sherrie Hurd, A.A.


    If you are happy as you are, pay no attention to the others. You’re the only one who needs your approval. Being by yourself is a powerful thing. Maybe some people are afraid of this and they think you should be too. Show them how comfortable solitude is and maybe they won’t be so opposed to your way of life. Or, you can simply let their comments roll off your back. Thanks for reading.

  15. Sherrie Hurd, A.A.


    Oh no, you’re not bad. Hey, I don’t understand loads of things about extroverts. You know we’re constantly learning, right? Stay well and thank you for reading.

  16. Sherrie Hurd, A.A.


    Thank you for reading. I love your attitude. 🙂

  17. Sherrie Hurd, A.A.


    You are absolutely right! I have a weird personality. I don’t really like crowded social situations, but If I get to know the cashier down the street, I won’t shut up. It just depends on the situation and my comfort level.

  18. Sherrie Hurd, A.A.


    I understand how they do not understand. But I do not understand their lack of understanding. Yes, it makes so much sense to me. Thank you for reading, and I wish you an awesome day. Sorry, my replies are so late lately. 😉

Leave a Reply