I have a mediator personality, and I can tell you, it’s not always easy. In fact, the rewards and struggles are both powerful influencers. We have a unique way of looking at life, that’s for sure.

The INFP or mediator personality is penned by some people as the “children of the Myers Briggs personality assessment.” This is because of the radical differences in the personality. While the mediator personality is seen as introverted, it also has many aspects of the extrovert, making it a curious combination of the two. While the INFP personality is loving and empathetic, it can also become awkward and exhausted by being around too many people.

There are many struggles

The mediator personality, while strong in many aspects, has numerous struggles to deal with. Yes, the INFP have strong morals and standards, while dreaming of how the world can be a better place, but various struggles get in the way of the follow through, in many cases. Here are several struggles of the mediator personality.

Procrastination and distraction

Although they are eager to please everyone, they take their time about doing so. Procrastination is like second nature, competing with pure laziness.

I can relate since my intentions are always good in the beginning. Unfortunately, I get sidetracked and notice how much time has passed while I’ve been lost in some other side quest. If not distracted then I return to procrastination.

Engulfed by heartache

The mediator personality has the hardest time getting over a breakup. Although they may pretend to be distant and cold, they have one of the deepest devotions to love. It is extremely hard for the INFP to just let their heart be in pain and try to get over their lost love.


Since the INFP has such deep convictions and strong morals, they have a hard time admitting what they feel is wrong. Although opposing viewpoints may be strong, the mediator will bring stronger arguments to the situation. Their stubborn nature can cause division in many relationships.


Just when you think you know something about a mediator, you will be surprised once more. This personality is one of the hardest to get to know, and this fact causes the INFP to have fewer friends and acquaintances.

Sometimes it’s a protective measure used to weed out the real from the fake, and sometimes it just happens unconsciously. They have walls up, and it’s hard to climb over that wall and get to know the real person of interest.

High expectations

Unfortunately, most mediators have expectations that are way too high. When it comes to relationships, they will put pressure on their partners to be “perfect”. They are not ones to just let things go, quite the contrary. They are idealistic and see no wrong in how they view their standards.

Easily offended

Mediators are easily offended. When friends or loved ones criticize them, they have a hard time taking this hit lightly. Instead of taking the criticism and using it to get stronger and better, they sometimes deny the criticism or stay away from the person who made the statement. At best, they may try to compromise so that both parties are happy.

Stifled creativity

One of the most unfortunate facts about the INFP personality is that their creativity is often not seen. The mediator tends to be his own worst critic, and if the creative project is not up to those high expectations that I mentioned earlier, the project will remain unknown or discarded.

In my case, however, I choose to just keep my artwork in my closet. I don’t wish to show anyone some of my work because I feel it’s not worthy. There are those high expectations again.

Emotionally overwhelmed

Many times the INFP can become overwhelmed with life’s circumstances. When negative things occur, they may suffer through a chaos of emotions. In one way, they feel strong and able to conquer the problem, but in another, they just wish to hide away until the storm passes.

There are so many emotions flying around that the mediator can become confused and unable to process the situation correctly.

Harsh and unkind

Although the mediator is mostly an empathetic and kind person, they can suddenly change when they need to. In a moment, the INFP can be harsh and cold. This usually occurs when their standards and morals have been threatened.

One of the worst assumptions to make about a mediator is that they are a pushover. They usually have a bad temper and can prove this.

No follow-through

Although the mediator is a dreamer and loves to start new projects, they also hate when things seem too hard. They will be excited and ready to take on the job, then after the long list of responsibilities surfaces, they pull back. They are aware that too much work will drain their personalities.

Good and bad aspects

Yes, the mediator personality struggles with many hangups, but so do all the personality types. We may procrastinate, but we are loving. We may lose our tempers, but we are sure about our standards and how we want to live. We may be critical, but we can create some of the most striking works of art you have ever seen. Sorry, guess I was honking my own horn a bit there.

The point is, while struggles abound, we can take these setbacks and create beauty from the negative. What is your personality type? Learn your strengths and weaknesses and use this to help guide you through life. Within those facts is the key to happiness!


  1. https://www.16personalities.com
  2. https://owlcation.com

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