I have a mediator personality, and I can tell you, it’s not always easy. In fact, the rewards and struggles are both powerful influencers. We have a unique way of looking at life, that’s for sure.

The INFP or mediator personality is penned by some people as the “children of the Myers Briggs personality assessment.” This is because of the radical differences in the personality. While the mediator personality is seen as introverted, it also has many aspects of the extrovert, making it a curious combination of the two. While the INFP personality is loving and empathetic, it can also become awkward and exhausted by being around too many people.

There are many struggles

The mediator personality, while strong in many aspects, has numerous struggles to deal with. Yes, the INFP have strong morals and standards, while dreaming of how the world can be a better place, but various struggles get in the way of the follow through, in many cases. Here are several struggles of the mediator personality.

Procrastination and distraction

Although they are eager to please everyone, they take their time about doing so. Procrastination is like second nature, competing with pure laziness.

I can relate since my intentions are always good in the beginning. Unfortunately, I get sidetracked and notice how much time has passed while I’ve been lost in some other side quest. If not distracted then I return to procrastination.

Engulfed by heartache

The mediator personality has the hardest time getting over a breakup. Although they may pretend to be distant and cold, they have one of the deepest devotions to love. It is extremely hard for the INFP to just let their heart be in pain and try to get over their lost love.


Since the INFP has such deep convictions and strong morals, they have a hard time admitting what they feel is wrong. Although opposing viewpoints may be strong, the mediator will bring stronger arguments to the situation. Their stubborn nature can cause division in many relationships.


Just when you think you know something about a mediator, you will be surprised once more. This personality is one of the hardest to get to know, and this fact causes the INFP to have fewer friends and acquaintances.

Sometimes it’s a protective measure used to weed out the real from the fake, and sometimes it just happens unconsciously. They have walls up, and it’s hard to climb over that wall and get to know the real person of interest.

High expectations

Unfortunately, most mediators have expectations that are way too high. When it comes to relationships, they will put pressure on their partners to be “perfect”. They are not ones to just let things go, quite the contrary. They are idealistic and see no wrong in how they view their standards.

Easily offended

Mediators are easily offended. When friends or loved ones criticize them, they have a hard time taking this hit lightly. Instead of taking the criticism and using it to get stronger and better, they sometimes deny the criticism or stay away from the person who made the statement. At best, they may try to compromise so that both parties are happy.

Stifled creativity

One of the most unfortunate facts about the INFP personality is that their creativity is often not seen. The mediator tends to be his own worst critic, and if the creative project is not up to those high expectations that I mentioned earlier, the project will remain unknown or discarded.

In my case, however, I choose to just keep my artwork in my closet. I don’t wish to show anyone some of my work because I feel it’s not worthy. There are those high expectations again.

Emotionally overwhelmed

Many times the INFP can become overwhelmed with life’s circumstances. When negative things occur, they may suffer through a chaos of emotions. In one way, they feel strong and able to conquer the problem, but in another, they just wish to hide away until the storm passes.

There are so many emotions flying around that the mediator can become confused and unable to process the situation correctly.

Harsh and unkind

Although the mediator is mostly an empathetic and kind person, they can suddenly change when they need to. In a moment, the INFP can be harsh and cold. This usually occurs when their standards and morals have been threatened.

One of the worst assumptions to make about a mediator is that they are a pushover. They usually have a bad temper and can prove this.

No follow-through

Although the mediator is a dreamer and loves to start new projects, they also hate when things seem too hard. They will be excited and ready to take on the job, then after the long list of responsibilities surfaces, they pull back. They are aware that too much work will drain their personalities.

Good and bad aspects

Yes, the mediator personality struggles with many hangups, but so do all the personality types. We may procrastinate, but we are loving. We may lose our tempers, but we are sure about our standards and how we want to live. We may be critical, but we can create some of the most striking works of art you have ever seen. Sorry, guess I was honking my own horn a bit there.

The point is, while struggles abound, we can take these setbacks and create beauty from the negative. What is your personality type? Learn your strengths and weaknesses and use this to help guide you through life. Within those facts is the key to happiness!


  1. https://www.16personalities.com
  2. https://owlcation.com

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This Post Has 17 Comments

  1. John A. Kraft

    I think you are a middle child re birth order.

    1. Sherrie

      I am a hot-tempered youngest child who struggles with mental disorders and physical ailments. lol

  2. Aiden

    I think everything in this was very true about INFP’s. I’m an INFP and I relate to almost all of this. There is only two parts of this I don’t feel like I have. I value everyones emotions and personal state as an INFP would. I’ve been in arguments with my best friends over things that aren’t harsh conflicts ie; Once I accidentely broke my friends stick and had to pay for it aside from various points of logic to prove that my friend was equally on the blame side too. I remember all my friends tagged up against me in the groupchat and I decided to be stubborn an keep arguing because I knew it was just a friend thing. What I believe though, is that INFP’s aren’t always stubborn with that because we’re also evualating in live time whether arguing too long will offend anyone. Usually if I’m remotely in an argument, I try to pass it by quickly without making light of it. You also mentioned one thing about how INFP’s like to set their bars high. Thats true, but if I was in a relationship with a girl, I would never ever expect my relationship to be perfect. I’d let my girlfriend be whoever she wants because an INFP doesn’t usually have strong opinions on how others are supposed to act around them.

    1. Sherrie

      You have a good attitude, Aiden. You seem to have a calm demeanor, and I envy that. Thank you for reading.

  3. Min

    We are not alone 😉 we care too much and loss in the dream and lazy(because procrastinate). And when life strike hard, while melting our dreams- we run away again and again. But we still came back again and again. One day I will find my destiny.

    1. Sherrie

      Yes Min, one day we will find where we belong. I keep believing in that. Blessings

  4. christine

    This is all so true about me. I find myself to be creative yet lazy and when responsibilities surface i run away but still come around when my dreams haunt me. I am in a science course but i love writing, poetry and creating

    1. Sherrie

      Hello, and thank you for reading. Unfortunately, our creative personality can carry us away on clouds of dreams. I get that. I remember my mother telling me to go into the “computer field” or similar career choice, but all I wanted to do was paint and write. While it is smart to study science, it also a good idea to focus on what makes you happy. I cannot tell you what to do, but I can say this. If I am not happy with what I do, it will seem like work. If I am happy with it, then it’s more like a calling. But, I do understand that frame of mind.

  5. Gary Rogers

    Damn, I’m speechless honestly. I’ve always felt no one understands me. Thanks

    1. Sherrie


      I feel that way too sometimes. I think we are all just spread too far apart. lol

  6. Matias

    This is a great post. I did 16 personalities test multiple times some years back but didnt get this result. Only today I went all in on the test and found that im a meditator. And after reading all the things meditators have I realized that it’s a perfect description of me :o.. And you know, that breakup part is so on point… Do you also build emotional attachments super fast with people just by talking a lot with them about personal stuff?

    1. Sherrie


      I used to easily grow attached, but due to so much betrayal, I put up walls to protect myself. I cannot afford to become emotionally attached to most people. It damages my mental health.

      But in all truth, if I removed the walls, yes, I would be that way.

  7. kody

    I find it hard to be a mediator and being male that I should not be so soft harded and try to help people that I know I shouldn’t and I’m a straight dude but I rather hang with chics

  8. Amanda L. Wood

    I relate to this so much!

  9. Candace

    I wish I could figure out a way to beat my own extremely high expectations of myself. I’ve written several novels but I would NEVER publish them in the shape they’re in. And everything else here is spot on too.

  10. babu juliana

    That up there was me.period

  11. Itzel

    I deleted what I was going to say because it seemed too long, but thank you for providing this because every time I find something that I can relate to on a very personal level, I feel it lifts me up or helps me sort things out. I often hide or delete or erase things that I create or my forms of self-expression. I want to share but it feels like a downhill path all day every day because there are so many other things flying around that hurt. This reading provided a form of achieving a peaceful understanding in some sort of fluttering way. Thank you

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