You may need more space in a relationship and not even realize it. Read through the signs below to find out for sure.
The “honeymoon stage” of a relationship is such a wonderful time because everything is all so new, exciting, and you often can’t get enough of each other. It’s a time to get to know each other and to want to spend as much time together as possible.
Whilst this is normal, it is not meant to last forever as it’s often referred to as the first stage of a relationship, one where you grow and move on from.
In a healthy relationship, it’s common to not agree on the same things and not enjoy all of the same things. After all, you are two different people with two different backgrounds and needs in life.
Some people love company all the time and others like alone time. Have you found yourself feeling like you need a bit of space in your relationship? If there is too much of it, you can drift apart, but not enough of it could leave you feeling resentful of your significant other.
So, how much space in a relationship is normal?
Below are some indicators that it may be time to enjoy some time away from your loved one whether that’s completely alone time or catching up with friends family, perhaps even taking up a new hobby.
Signs You Need More Space in a Relationship & What to Do about It
1. You are squabbling more
Often, when we don’t get time to ourselves, we find we pick at each other’s habits which can lead to fighting or bickering often about the silliest things.
It may even be things that are completely unrelated to your relationship but have a big impact because you are always in each other’s shadow. These trivial matters are annoying you because you are annoyed with their presence.
By arguing about silly things, you are trying to tell your partner that you feel stifled at the lack of space, so speak out and tell them how you feel.
If you feel like you might need some space in the relationship, try a weekend apart, often taking some time apart to do your own thing cures this immediately and you’ll value each other more when you do catch up.
2. You inform your partner of any decision you make
If you find yourself informing your partner when you are popping to the shop or going to grab a coffee, it might be a sign to take some space in the relationship. This inability to do anything without telling your partner first is a sign of codependency, which could easily turn into a controlling relationship.
If you are used to telling your partner about the most minor decision you make, try to just do it without informing them. Go to the shop, have that coffee, or go to the gym. Don’t forget, you used to be able to do things on your own before you met them, so get back to that person.
3. Their eccentricities are no longer quirky
Do you find that the habits you once thought were cute are not anymore? Then it could be time to take a little space from each other.
If their chewing or the way they laugh is fraying your nerves, you should ask for some space in the relationship and spend more time with your friends and family so that these once cute traits don’t wear you down. Who knows, with a bit of time, you might start to find them cute again.
4. Spending time together isn’t as fun anymore
Friday movie nights used to be more fun, but now they are a bit… dull? Taco Tuesday was cute and it now seems a bit mundane? If you text each other regularly throughout the day, try not to communicate and wait to see each other.
It will give you so much to talk about and you’ll find yourself listening to each other. When we get into a routine with our partners, the security might seem great, but it can lose its fun appeal. If you take some space apart, switch updates and movie nights, it’ll make things more exciting.
5. You don’t want to invite your partner anywhere
Grabbing a coffee together on a Sunday afternoon might have been the best bit of your week, but do you now fancy grabbing that coffee alone for a bit of me time and maybe a read?
You don’t want to invite your partner because you don’t want their company. You might find yourself feeling trapped and just needing that space. Wanting to do things without them is completely normal and something you should both strive for.
6. You feel stressed out
We are advised to take some space from anything that is stressing us out, whether it’s work, a toxic friendship, or even a Wordle of the day. If you are feeling stressed out, it is worth looking at all aspects of your life and seeing if it is your partner who is causing you stress.
If you identify that the stress is coming from your partner, taking some time apart can help you work out what is upsetting you and work on it.
They might ask you to give them space in your relationship for the same reasons and that’s something you need to respect and honour. Remember it’s not a reflection on you and might make you stronger as a couple.
7. You neglect your interests
If you are struggling to remember the last time you had time to read a good book, get a manicure, take a yoga lesson or even go for a walk, then it’s a sign you need to start doing a few of the things you loved before you met your partner.
They might be feeling the same, and it’ll make you cherish the time you do spend together. When you can make plans to do something together that fits around your interests, it’ll make them feel incredibly special and you’ll really look forward to the time together.
Space in a relationship isn’t a bad thing, it’s healthy.
8. You feel bored
You may be totally in love with your significant other, but are there times you are just bored silly? If boredom and your boo go hand in hand, it’s a sign to take up some of your old hobbies or start some new ones.
Do you worry about how much space in a relationship is normal? Space may be needed if you feel bored with them because spending time together has lost its meaning.
Make a point of seeing some of your friends more regularly and perhaps introduce some spontaneity into your relationship.
9. You feel smothered
There comes a point in any relationship where the obsession with each other becomes too much. Everywhere you look, your partner is there, staring back. It can often feel like you can’t breathe when you feel smothered by something or someone.
You need to speak up and ask for some space in your relationship. You can try to reassure them that space in a relationship doesn’t have hidden meanings, it just means you want some time to yourself.
If any of these feelings resonate with you, it’s ok to ask your partner for some space to see family/friends/for your mental health or just to read a magazine in the bath for an hour.
It’s so important to give someone space in the relationship, to take the time to both nourish and feed your own lives and not just with each other.
There is such a thing as too much time together. You find yourself focusing on just that person and you do become much less independent and unable to do anything without seeing their approval.
Giving your relationship freedom, space, understanding, and respect will make it so much stronger, happier, and unbreakable.
Many people struggle with how to ask for space in a relationship without upsetting someone, but as long as you can explain why you need it without hurting their feelings, they should be completely supportive.
And what if they aren’t? Perhaps that space needs to be permanent.
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