As human beings, we have basic needs in order to remain healthy and stable. Emotional needs are often the most neglected requirements.

We may take for granted just how much our emotional needs matter. The truth is, our emotional needs play a huge part in a healthy mentality. They can even play a large role in our damaging our physical health if they aren’t fulfilled. That’s why it’s so important to meet these needs.

When emotional needs are not met

So, how do you tell when your emotional needs are not being met? Well, there are certain signs which will alert you that something is missing. These signs can help you evaluate your situation and correct the problem. Keep an eye out for the following indicators.

1. You’re daydreaming too much

I think this was one of the first indicators that something was terribly wrong in my previous marriage. When times were happy, I would sit around during the day and makes plans for the future. I would think about the vacations my family would take, about the home we would buy, and about all the fun times that would come. When my emotional needs stopped being met, I started to dream without my partner.

I would daydream all day long about a life that did not include him. This daydream was wonderful and happy, fulfilling all my emotional needs. Unfortunately, I had stopped receiving the emotional support that I needed from my partner, and this is why I turned to my imagination.

If you’re daydreaming all day and your partner is not included, your emotional needs are definitely not being met.

2. There is little affection

When I say affection, I don’t mean sexual intimacy. What I mean is the innocent and comforting act of cuddling or holding hands. One sign that your emotional needs are not being met is no physical affection.

Physical affection creates a stronger bond and releases the chemical oxytocin. Cuddling places in us a sense of emotional well-being, and without it, well, we suffer a severe lack of comfort.

3. Communication has ceased

As long as you are able to communicate, then emotional needs in this area are being met. If not, then there is a serious problem.

Communication helps us work out problems in our relationship by talking things through and seeing different viewpoints. Sometimes communication is difficult, but it must be done. When you stop communicating, issues never reach a resolution and people become bitter.

If communication has ceased, this means that emotional needs are not being met, and your relationship is headed for danger. Other detrimental actions usually follow the end of communication – these are actions which usually cannot be reversed.

4. You are resentful most of the time

You can call it bitterness, irritability, anger, or whatever level of disgruntled emotional negativity that you wish. The fact remains when you become resentful of something, more than likely some emotional need is not being met.

You may not be getting any support from your loved one or you might be neglected. Whatever the problem is, you will notice something is way off when you become bitter and harbor hatred for another.

Pay attention to how you respond to your loved one. Do you answer them with kindness, or do you speak harshly? This could reveal the truth about how you feel.

5. You’re avoiding people

When emotional needs are not being met, you will start to withdraw from those you love. You will stop having light-hearted conversations. You will stop doing social things with your partner. You will also stop interacting throughout the day concerning ordinary duties and plans.

Over time, you will start to live in your own little world. This usually happens right before you fall victim to the daydreaming addiction.

6. Your confiding too much in others

Frequently confiding in others about your problems could be a sign that your needs aren’t being met. Not to say that it’s entirely wrong to get and give advice, but there’s something wrong if you are doing it every day.

When you’re running to your best friend every day about a problem you’re having in your intimate relationship, then this is a red flag that something isn’t normal.

You should be able to communicate more with your partner and not others. Needs aren’t being met and worse than that, you cannot talk it through with the one who is supposed to supply those needs.

Emotional needs are important

Never downplay the importance of meeting your needs through a healthy relationship. Just like physical needs, emotional needs provide a sense of overall well being.

The hard truth, however, is that to have your emotional needs met, you must have a partner that is willing to work through this issues with you. After all, it takes two. So, how can we fix this problem?

Meeting emotional needs

The first thing you need to remember is, when addressing concerns about emotional needs, you should speak calmly.

Never attack or belittle someone who fails to provide emotional support. Maybe they are doing all they know to do, or all that they were taught. Start by observing behaviors, and then approach them about what you need in order to feel appreciated.

Explain how important your feelings are and how the right support can actually create a tighter bond. Don’t overwhelm your partner with every concern all at once or they could shut you out.

Sometimes too much criticism leads to resentment from your partner as well. If both of you are angry, then less progress will be made.

The importance of emotional support

Although it’s true that you should love yourself and find happiness from within, it’s also important to choose a partner who is willing to enjoy this with you and share feelings and emotions. It’s a balance, and you will know when something is wrong in this area. Just pay attention.

Let’s always strive to cultivate our physical, mental, and emotional health. Then we can teach others to do the same.



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This Post Has 5 Comments

  1. Abdurrahman Kareem

    it was really great article for couples. some of them apply for singles too. but the solutions don’t apply for singles (:
    if anyone knows solutions for singles i’d appreciate it. because it’s distracting me and not letting me work towards my goals. i’m nearly wasting all my time in dating apps

    1. Sherrie

      When I was single, I found that the best way to meet my emotional needs, we just that…I had to meet my own emotional needs. I had to appreciate myself, I had to stop insulting myself, and I had to be happy in my own company. Yes, I did talk to myself quite a bit, but as I did this, I learned just how much of an okay person that I was. During the two decades of my previous marriage, I did not like myself. I had to be alone to realize that this was a reflection of all the nasty things that were said to me and the criticism. When I left the marriage, at first, I clung to others and tried to date as fast as possible, in search of someone to meet my emotional needs. I soon learned that I did not need that, although it was nice to have. I do hope this helped a little and maybe soon we can explore this topic more in single terms.

      Thank you for reading, Abdurranhman

  2. Marw

    Thank you so much for this useful article….
    I can add that sometimes the relation takes the two extremes either arguing and fighting or totaly silent… you said communicating becomes so weak

    1. Sherrie

      Yes Marw, sometimes it seems like we cannot win in this area. In really frustrating times like this, it pays to step back and think about things before we act or speak. Our emotional needs are important, but some people, no matter how hard you try to convey this message, will still have no interest in being considerate in this area. Hence, the reason I say that we should strive to meet most of our own emotional needs.

      Good luck and be well.

  3. Abcya

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