Here are 14 things about being an introvert that can help you understand what it means to be one, or that will sound familiar if you are one yourself.
In her book “Quiet: The power of introverts in a world that can’t stop talking”, Susan Cain illustrates how today’s world has created an Extrovert culture. The ideal is to be sociable, loud, bold, and it is so because it resonates with how most of our interactions are nowadays.
We are bold and loud all day on our social media. The corporate environment favors the “golden boy/girl” who wins over investments with daring ideas and a charming personality.
But what about the other side of the spectrum? What about introverts? The people who choose a quiet evening at home instead of a large social gathering can obviously be equally capable, strong, and successful. So, what does it mean to be an introvert? It’s not the stereotypical notion of the shut-in, that is for sure.
Below are 14 things about being an introvert that can help you understand what it means to be one (or you can experience a moment of recognition if you are, like the writer of this article, an introvert herself):
1. An introverted person can function better when working alone, than when working in a team. It’s not about being a “team player”, it’s about what can help them produce the best possible result. And working in a team, well…it’s is distracting.
2. Being quiet does not mean “having nothing to say”. It means that one simply enjoys being quiet. As an introvert, I find some of my most satisfying moments when I am in a gathering and observe people talk, without saying something myself. Why don’t you speak? Because I am perfectly content absorbing the stimuli of my surroundings without producing any of my own.
3. Going out in a coffee shop with your book, work, or music, and enjoying that perfect little state between sociability, but without interaction, is very, very satisfying.
4. Introverts choose who they connect with very carefully. And when that connection has been made, it runs deep. Some people can be all depth, instead of breadth. And that is perfectly okay.
5. Rainy days at home are blessings. Period.
6. A trip alone to a foreign country or another city is not scary. It’s an adventure, and not having anyone meddling with your planning is pretty liberating. The lone wolf does survive (if you got my reference, you are awesome).
7. You can never comprehend how some people can spend the entirety of their day together, even fresh lovers in their honeymoon phase. Space is healthy. Silence is necessary.
8. Time alone means time for introspection. While many people avoid looking at their problems, letting them fester and become toxic for them, an introvert can take the time to listen to themselves and perhaps find solutions.
9. Being the observer in a group can actually be very beneficial. It gives one more chance of operating in a behind-the-scenes way.
10. Similarly, the observation of people can lead to better understanding them, which can make an introvert a very likable person. Everyone wants an understanding confident who lets them speak out for a change, in a world where everyone has an opinion that can, unfortunately, be pushed on to you.
11. Spending less time socializing means coming up with so many more things to occupy your time! There is always a book to read, or a movie to watch, or a language to learn or some volunteer work you can do, and so on. An introvert can see adventure in the most ordinary settings.
12. That moment when you finally come home after a large party is like the first breath of air in a long time, and a great relief.
13. It can be funny, interesting, and a little bit sad when people get surprised that you have so many interests and hobbies. “Oh my god, I had no idea you did so much!” I mean, it’s not like I sit and stare at my ceiling when I am not with people. But your surprise entertains me.
14. Socializing can be draining, but an introvert can love spending time with an extrovert. Opposites do attract, and one fulfills the other. There are things an introvert cannot do without an extrovert, and vice versa.
To sum up, being an introvert is a great thing. Being an extrovert is also a great thing. The greatness lies within the fact that we hopefully live in a world where people can just be themselves.
Being clever and successful is not about learning to separate the more capable (read: sociable) ones from the less capable ones. It’s about fully utilizing every resource, and more often than not, an introvert might just be the ace up society’s sleeve.
Embrace introverts, whether it is the one hiding inside you or someone in your social circle. You won’t miss out.
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This Post Has 52 Comments
can relate every point exactly…..thnxx for sharing!!
I know not whether you’ve researched before writing this or written it down purely by experience. I like your style. cheers 🙂
Thank you for a wonderful read.
I looooooooooooooooooove the article
and I LOVE being myself , an introvert
Being an introvert myself, I find this article so true! It’s not that we the introvert don’t like with other people. But when we are alone, we ‘charge’ our mental energy, that in turn to be spend when we’re ‘forced’ to be in a situation where we have to be socialize with other people.
Thank you for this article! I like it very much because I am an introvert and agree with all these “truths”. You’re awesome, keep writing and don’t forget to smile! 🙂
I dislike people. What am I then? Does that make me neither?
Disliking others is the projected dislike of youself onto others. Its a safety mechanism, so your mind dont have to deal with negative feelings. Improve your self esteem, and that problem will vanish.
So as you can see, just because you are an introvert, doesn’t mean you are alone! In fact you are probably one of a select group of humans, blessed with an ability to think independantly.
I agree with all points except for having many interest. Obviously I’m talking about myself, but I really don’t have that many interests in life.
But you probably master the ones you have.
I’m wondering how many of us freak out on the sports fans going crazy over people playin with a ball? I just don’t get it.
I don’t know you, so I could be way off-base, but I have a son with Aspergers, a very mild form of Autism. He is very intelligent but somewhat socially introverted. He has few interests, but the few he does have are intense. I’m a little like this, myself… just not to the same extent. It may (or may not) be something to look into, if for nothing else, to realize that you’re not alone.
This is so true! Thank you for this article. I totally relate to all of it – especially #6. At 16, I was living by myself in an apartment; at 19, I traveled to Europe by myself. Now, as a middle aged adult with five kids, I LOVE my alone time. Going to town, going to a movie, traveling by myself is restful, not lonely. I’ve also traveled extensively abroad with minor kids without another adult. Not a problem. 🙂
I agree each and every point . Awesome article . I am so tired of people asking me why I stay quiet? Why I don’t have many friends ? Why i like to stay alone sometimes ? Some even think i have some psychological problem !! Sending this article to my friends right now .
I’m socially reserved but for now that doesn’t matters anymore, a deep sigh of relief followed after reading this relateful blog. And yes I do enjoy solitude cause it gives a sense of relief and satisfaction. People sometimes doubt if I’m fine cause I always stay quiet and absorb things around like a walking antennae. But it’s just that I enjoy staying quiet and it gratifies me……
Thanks for this article.. I can really relate to this.. All the things written in the article is so me. 🙂 I just love it that way but most people don’t understand it .
I am definitely an introvert although I learned over the years to act as if I were the most gregarious extrovert ever. Writing has freed me from feeling as if I have to be someone I am not. I love that feeling and I love writing.
These characteristics really help me determine if I am a true introvert or not! Some of these apply to me like #1, 4, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 14, but I fluctuate more among the others. None the less, like you pointed out, living in a world where everyone can just be themselves would be the best! Introverts shouldn’t be scrutinized at or made to change.
I appreciate all your comment info. I work with pp who have developmental disabilities of all types. One person recently opened up with an insight I’ve never heard in my 27 + year’s experience. I think there is so much we still don’t know….If anyone had broached this two weeks ago, I would have felt differently. Thank God for Open Minds.
I find the comments as intriguing as the fine article. Each written with depth of emotions and self acknowledging awareness. Thank you for the eloquent and encompassing presentation that touched so many of us with resonance.
For those interested to know more and revel in discoveries also profound and resonating… check out the library’s copy of the Meyers-Briggs Survey. Take the survey for yourself and notice how closely it resonates with you, and your friends and family members. Like reading this delightful article, the Meyers-Briggs will reinforce and expand you and your world views in good ways.
Thank you, I heard about Susan Cain’s book months ago and wanted to read it. Much of what you pointed out is true for me and helpful. Sometimes I don’t wait til I’m home from the party and go outside for a quick breath of fresh air alone. Though I find the socialization fun and invigorating I find these breaks necessary to handle another wave. One thing that might fit with this crowd is also learning about being an empath – one who gathers the surrounding energies and emotions and experiences them within themselves. Seems to go hand in hand with introversion and observation. –P.S. did you just reference the most awesome graphic novel saga ever(imo)?
I completely agree with all the points given in the article. And I just came to realize that I’m an introvert,(just didn’t know there is an introvert team) if u know what I mean. And yes I have a lot if interests, so many that I can’t decide what to pursue in my life. Well thank you for sharing this article. I loved it !!
This is completely like me, my teachers all the time complain about me never working in groups. And I love reading books, I have a huge pile with nowhere to put them.
I’m so happy to know that I’m not alone.
Sofia, I really appreciate your insight writing this article. At first I thought it was written by a man since there seems to be far less women who are introverts but was delighted to see another woman who shares aspects of my distinct disposition. From the age of 3 or 4 yrs of age my favorite saying is: ” I need a QUIET time ” which my dad would always laugh at me. It seems like some things never change.
Ever since I was younger, I noticed I enjoyed my own person time and space. I like playing with others like one to two at a time. Even now as an adult, I enjoy my quiet time. It’s tough when you have an extremely extroverted friend who wants to hang out every weekend. People misinterpret me. It’s that I like just staying in mostly enjoying a good movie with my husband who gets me. I am glad there is nothing wrong with me.
I know how you feel! I have a co-worker friend who likes to do things on the weekend and can’t seem to do anything by herself, so she turns to me. I turn her down often b/c I just don’t like hanging out. I’d rather stay home.
Very nice set of words to describe the inside of an introvert! Felt nice knowing the positive feel of being an extreme introvert! Specially when people round you want you to change!
Love being an introvert – a quiet one.. It allows me to look at the deeper meaning of life, and looking what lies behind the words that people speak…
Absolutely!! ” only an introvert can understand an introvert better. feeling great and relieved coz, i’m not the only one out in this world. #quietrevolution
Finally and I always thought I was different from many people out there… I don’t talk much,I only talk when I’m needed to talk…Sometimes I find it hard to strike a conversation and end up being quiet, bt I’ve realised that when i’m in a group of people and we chat,I’m mostly observing all they say,their actions and at the same tym I’m thinking to myself how they do it and making all sorts of judgement….I’ve always been questioning myself why I’m so different, but now I understand. Thank you.
Sofia, great article! As an introvert, I fully your appreciate your perspective. Introvert’s prefer their own company, and stimuli comes from within. The lone wolf does survive.
I find this article very true! I thought that I’m a weirdo who just so different with most people out there. And some people has been thinking that I actually dislike them or something like that, while actually I’m just one of those introverts who loves to be alone most of the time.
This is exactly what I am. I love traveling alone but also meeting new people abroad. But I need a lot of time for myself, because I am a dreamer, I need introspection, it is never boring…but extrovert people cannot understand. They fear loneliness when an introvert needs it so. Everyone notices I am very quiet.
It is so good to know that I am not the only one! This actually described my feelings.I love being alone.Honestly for me reading a novel in a corner of a room is much better than spending time to socialize with people.
This article was spot on, thank you for writing it. It would be nice to find some more introverts to hang out with occassionaly for a little bit. I hate when people talk to me about stupid shit. I value my alone time so much! I see it as an opportunity to better myself. It’s reassuring to see all of your coments!
thanks…it’s good to know that I don’t like people…l just don’t like to be covered up in them…coming home from a party is better than anything.
It’s so comforting to know that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying my own company more.
People often misinterpret an introvert as shy or depressed but actually we need time alone to recharge ourselves, we like to observe rather than talk ,nothing is wrong with us ..and we are fine like others.Peace gives us happiness so we like being QUITE..
Being introverted leads to perfect doors always. can’t deny it that so many people start bad mouthing about whatever introvert men do ( because they get your alien actions wrong in their own limited, tradition thoughts) , but the moment of being able to close your eyes to their vibes and listen to same Ruth B-lost boy song and so on, You Will Rock The World.
The point no body can see is that being introverted is actually a Mutation in this age, a positive mutation (if you doubt, just notice to the growing number of Introverted people all around the world to millions) it’s a better way of living your life.
The twenty one century per se’ brings everything needed to be introverted by itself, (for example look at so many new communication services and so many other technology that limits extroverted and expands the life of introverted people), you can sit on same couch without any eye-to-eye contact and enjoy being introverted all around the world.
by now, said about the Compatibility of new world wid people who are introvert, i should remind you of Darwin’s theory that i do believe in “Natural Selection” acco to this, Introverted people because of higher ability of adaption are the ones who Inherit the Earth!
lean on your warm couch, have your bitter espresso reading new researches listening same old songs in your earphones, and light up the life being introverted.
What’s the difference between being alienated and being introverted ?!
The feeling you get when reading such an understanding and articulated piece of writing. Perfection. Thank you for this brilliant article. Introverts, and proud.
Thank you, it is nice to be understood.
I laughed out loud at number 13, the rest are spot on also.
I love traveling alone. Just sitting in a quiet room for hours. And riding my bicycle on dirt roads. Going to the movies alone is great too. And i so agree with you about the rain. The rain is our friend.
I wish there had been articles and websites like this, and an internet to find them on, when I was in my 20s.
I LOVE walking on woods trails by myself, being spiritually fed and inspired by nature. (A Taurus person is all about nature!) It’s disconcerting to discourage other people from walking with me. But that’s all it would be – a walk. By myself it’s an adventure, always seeing and discovering things I never would with a companion along. It’s also a time to express my gratitude for all my blessings. All in all, quiet is nice. I do intend to read Susan Cain’s book.
I really appreciate this newly-found venue.
I love to hangout alone consistently most of my time when taking decision are need of the hour
I missed this type of contents a lot a while ago
Well I Am tired of people telling me to like talking just because they think i am too quiet and describe me as dull. It’s their opinion anyways. I just love me and it’s high time people tried to know the capabilities of introverts and stop trying to turn everyone into a loud person
So, Hello, meet me, I am an introvert and there have been many aspects of my lives or like most of the aspects of my lives which are directly either a cause or an effect of being an introvert and that are things which only an introvert can understand.
When I was at school, I never had a lot of friends. I used to be quite. There was no play with all. I was shy. I was introvert. With time passing, I had some friends. I engrossed myself in studies. Only career was the thing I ever cared. Now that my entire career is set and I am in a very good positions. I find something missing. That is the common story of introvert.
Even there were some half love stories. Yes half! Look how these half stories come and go in life of an introvert