Everyone gets upset with themselves, but the important thing to remember is that you should never stay angry at yourself for a long time. It’s still about getting back up and dusting yourself off.

Yes, we all make mistakes, but unfortunately, we sometimes dwell for much too long on these mistakes. We also do good things, but it seems like we quickly shove those praises back, as we hold onto the criticisms.

When we make ourselves angry, we stay mad at ourselves for a long time. This may seem normal, but it’s unhealthy.

What you should remember when you are angry at yourself

The best way to approach this subject is not to just tell yourself to stop being angry. Rather, you should remember why staying angry with yourself is just not the right move.

While we’re looking at the negative things we’ve done, it’s important to appreciate the positive deeds as well. Most of all, we should remember who we are. Here are a few other things to keep in mind.

1. Beware of self-absorption

When you continue to be angry with yourself, you can easily fall into self-loathing. This is a toxic form of self-disappointment where you feel disgusted with the mistakes you’ve made. You become self-absorbed. Now, I guess you may be thinking,

“But I thought self-absorption was thinking too lofty being obsessed with myself?”

Well, it does, but there’s another side of the coin. Self-absorption can also mean being obsessed with all your negative traits as well. Keep an eye out for these loathing feelings, so you can keep yourself from the grip of self-absorption.

You should never think too highly or too low about yourself. You are just as good as and no better than anyone else.

2. Love yourself

Now that I’ve busted your bubble of pity, I will remind you of why you should love yourself instead. You are worthy, never forget this. And since you are worthy, your mistakes are only that – mistakes and nothing more.

Now, I will say that some mistakes are much worse than others. And then there are choices you make that hurt you and others as well.

However, no matter what you’ve done, you must remember to love the basic core of who you are. This can help you make better choices and fewer mistakes because you know you can accomplish anything you want in your strength.

3. Check that temper

Anger has a strange way of building to a crescendo. While some people can control their temper with others and with themselves, some individuals get angrier and angrier as time goes on, which in turn leads to that loathing feeling I spoke about.

When you make a mistake or bad choice, remember to check your anger as quickly as possible to curb some of the fiery tension. If you can catch your displeasure early on, it may not grow into a pattern of self-hatred.

5. You are human

When did you become perfect? That’s right, you’re not. You must realize then remember that you are only human.

Making mistakes and choosing the wrong paths comes with growth. Since you were a toddler, you’ve been falling down, and getting back up. Now, you don’t fall as much, but you sure drop the ball with things. This doesn’t mean you deserve prolonged punishment.

You’re human. I say this once more in case you need another reminder. You’ve made mistakes, done bad things, and trust me, you’re going to do it again. So, why not go a bit easier on yourself.

6. That annoying inner critic

Sometimes that inner critic can get out of hand. So, what, you’ve decided to get into a relationship, and it failed.

We do things like this, but it doesn’t mean it’s our fault or all our fault. While some of what happened may be the result of something we’ve done, it doesn’t mean we are supposed to let our inner critic downgrade us.

Remember, your inner critic is there to help you become better and do better things, not to make you feel like a pile of poop. If that inner voice starts to go above and beyond insulting you, tell it to shut up. You will thank yourself later when you are successful at something else.

7. Learn from mistakes

There’s another thing that you must remember. Bad decisions and accidents are there to help you learn. They do not exist to condemn you.

When you do something hurtful or ruin a project, don’t see this as a failure and beat yourself up. Oh no, when you hurt someone, see it as a chance to be better to them as you seek forgiveness.

Learn more about this person so you decrease your chances of hurting them again. If you ruin a project for work or for class, view this experience as a lesson to help you become better at what you’re trying to do.

When you’re able to learn from your mistakes instead of hating yourself, you’ll be equipped to help others do the same.

8. Good anger and bad anger

There is a difference between positive and negative anger. Did you know that? Yes, you can be angry at yourself when you do bad things. This is okay.

But when your anger goes beyond making a better person into making a bitter and obsessed person, then your anger has transformed from healthy to unhealthy emotions.

Pay attention to the turn in your personality. Notice when self-discipline starts to change into self-hate. At this turning point, you can stop and reflect on how you can stop this process.

Just remember, conviction is okay, condemnation is not. Learn to clearly separate the two and you will grow faster than you’ve ever grown before.

Be blessed.


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the power of misfits

This Post Has 2 Comments

  1. TED MCCARTIN

    APOLOGIES FOR ALL CAPS. DISBALED PERSON TYPING.

    SHERRIE, THANK YOU FOR AN OUTSTANDING ARTICLE.

    AS A CHRISTIAN, I ALREADY KNOW THIS IS THE WAY TO LIVE. AS A PHILOSOPHER, I KNOW THIS IS THE WAY TO LIVE.

    YET, I KEEP STUMBLING OVER “BOULDERS” OF ANGER AS A SUPER-STRESS HEAD. I KNOW MOST OF IT COMES FROM BEING SEXUALLY ABUSED IN MY MIDTEENS WHILE IN BOYS ACOUTS AUSTRALIA.

    LIVING WITH PERSISTENT DEPRESSIVE DISORDER, GENERAL ANXIETY, PANIC ATTACKS, AGORAPHOBIA ANTHROPOPHOBIA (FEAR OF MEETING NEW PEOPLE AND ENGAGING WITH OLD FRIENDS AND ACQUAINTANCES,) AND OCD FOR 50 YEARS HAS BEEN A HEAVY BURDEN.

    I AM LEARNING MINDFULNESS. EVERY TIME I THINK I AM GETTING ONE BABY STEP PASSED “NOVICE”, I HAVE A MELTDOWN.

    THANK YOU FOR YOUR ARTICLE. IT HAS REMINDED ME OF MANY GOOD THINGS ABOUT MYSELF AS A PERSON, AND THE GOOD THINGS I HAVE DONE IN MY 65 YEARS ON THIS PLANET.

    THIS ONE ARTICLE ALONE MAKES ME FEEL GRATEFUL THAT I SUBSCRIBE TO “LEARNING MIND”.

  2. Sherrie Hurd, A.A.

    Ted,

    Thank you for your kind words. I am happy that this helped. I am currently working through some rough patches at the moment while dealing with many of the same mental illnesses too. Considering it was just the holidays a few days ago, I think I made it out without too many scratches. There are so many things I do not understand about life, even at my age, but I try not to stay angry with myself. However, there will be those who want you to be angry at yourself, and you just have to stand strong. We are all so flawed and imperfect and I am starting to think we’ve all, every one of us, have ruined someone’s day or days somewhere, but that’s what forgiveness is for. As I forgive others, I hope that others can forgive me too.

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