A cold-hearted person may be difficult to recognize at first and deal with. Luckily, there are some signs to look for that will help you with this.

It is said that all people are born good and that evil is something that we learn. Yet, there are so many people who are just too good at being bad for it not to be inherent. Their lack of empathy and feeling for others makes it impossible to believe that it wasn’t a trait they were born with. It can be hard to spot cold-hearted people initially. Luckily, there are a few ways that you can spot those who are simply out for themselves.

1. They’re secretive

No matter how long you have known them, you probably don’t know anything real about them. Those with cold hearts try to keep all aspects of their personal life and personality separate and secret. It makes it much easier to refrain from growing an attachment to others.

Not only are they secretive about themselves, they may also be secretive about work projects or meetings. Thus, you never really know what they are thinking or what their next move is. Instilling this uncertainty in others gives them the power of surprise when making their next move.

2. They take dangerous risks

Risk taking is a natural part of life, and our successful risks are what help us to progress in life and make a success out of ourselves. Risks to a cold-hearted person, however, are an entirely different ballgame.

They are happy to take risks, but there is no end to the risks that they are willing to take. No matter how dangerous or how reckless, those with cold hearts will go for it anyway and they will drag others with them. They put no thought into the feelings of others. These people are simply doing what makes them feel good and what they think will help them progress.

3. They never show remorse

Cold-hearted people may say sorry. In fact, they probably will, but they will never seem to mean it. They don’t mind hurting others, or any other consequences of their actions. But it is not socially acceptable to not apologize when they’re called on their bad behavior. So they will happily apologize to those who feel wronged, but they will never mean it.

Have you witnessed a series of half-hearted apologies from the same person? Chances are that they are cold-hearted and not to be handled lightly.

4. They know how to gaslight

Gaslighting is a psychological term for altering the reality to the way that you want it to be. If you catch them being deceptive or untruthful, they may try and twist events or words. They will probably try to make it seem as though you’re crazy or you don’t understand the situation. Over a long period of time, this can lead to a lot of self-doubt and anxiety.

Cold-hearted people will do anything to manipulate you into submission of their will. The important thing to remember is that you know what is happening in your own reality and your memories of events are probably correct.

5. They seem entitled

Cold-hearted people believe that the world belongs to them and anything that stands in their way is simply a temporary obstacle. Although they may have heard the word ‘no’ before, they have probably figured out ten ways to get around it by the time the word has left your lips.

They feel as though they are too special to lead a normal existence and will do what they can to get what they feel they deserve. This means anything from lying and manipulating to sabotaging other people’s work. Cold-hearted people are champions at taking advantage of others and will do what they can to advance.

6. They can remember every lie they’ve told

Cold-hearted people have the ability to seamlessly lie to your face. But they also remember every single lie and half-truth that they have told you to make sure that they don’t slip up.  It may be a white lie about why they didn’t come into work or something much more awful. They will know exactly what they have told whom and will make sure that they don’t slip up when questioned about it.

With such impressive lying skills, it can be hard to navigate between truth and lies. But once they are found out, the web of lies will quickly be uncovered.

7. Your gut tells you they can’t be trusted

Sometimes the best gage of a person is your natural gut reaction to them. There is a good reason for your gut to tell you not to trust someone, not just a bad smell or a stupid comment.

First impressions speak volumes. So if yours is telling you to stay away from a certain person, then it might be a good idea to do just that.

Cold-hearted people are not easy to spot initially. So your gut may be the thing you can really trust in the long run.

Cold-hearted people can appear in every aspect of our lives. Not just the workplace, but also in our social and family lives. Although they are hard to deal with, being able to spot a cold-hearted person makes it infinitely easier to figure out a way of making the best out of a bad situation if they are someone you can’t simply cut out.

We hope that this has helped you give you a clear profile of a cold-hearted person. Hopefully, you will be able to protect yourself from them.

Francesca Forsythe, LL.M., M.Phil.

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This Post Has 19 Comments

  1. Avatar
    Jim Pickens

    Sounds like a few people I know except the only time they took a high risk was at someone else’s expense

  2. Avatar
    Brian

    I just divorced one. Now I am in therapy to recover from the emotional manipulation and abuse.

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    Paul Ritchardson

    I just got cheated on by a remorseless, thankless, cold hearted b****. The worst feeling ever. She was definitely only interested in serving her own needs/desires even if those caused tremendous harm to someone she supposedly loved.

  4. Avatar
    junemoonchild

    I have been hurt many times too, etc. etc. Now I remember that the people I sometimes find to be awful in some way, well, they were once little children, just like me, innocent and raised by parents for better or worse… This world is a difficult place for us all to be it seems, and perhaps these “bad” people just got more of the worst of it than you or I did. Think about this before you judge others! They may have had a harder time in life than you. Ask yourself what terrible events they may have gone through to become or behave the way they do today. This results in us, the stronger ones, not better ones, to be more understanding, sympathetic, and compassionate, instead of hateful, hurtful, unfairly bad-mouthing individuals. These may be sad souls who need a lot of healing and love, who have succumbed to their darker sides, simply as an effect of a bad cause they were not strong enough to stop or prevent. They need as much love as you or I do, and it is also perhaps our responsibility to try our best to give them this love as best we can, seeing that we seem to be the ones who are better off, stronger, were able to handle the pain of life a bit better. If you find you cannot, or things don’t work out between you both, don’t blame yourself or them! Instead hope for them what you would want in their position, someone else who can love them in a way that works, not as in right or wrong, or good and bad, but mutually better or best.
    Love is the problem and the answer… the only one!

  5. Avatar
    Secret

    Oh no now they know how to spot people like me. 😐

  6. Avatar
    Hi

    Hey, I’m not like that. That is the signs of the evil cold-hearted people. Also, about being secretive… I think it’s not just cold-hearted people.

  7. Avatar
    Val H

    Cold-hearted is a nice way of putting it….don’t you mean Sociopath or Psychopath or someone with a Personality Disorder?? The older I get the more of them I realize are all around me….spotting them saves so much heart break, energy and money!!!

  8. Avatar
    Marty

    Same here, it was very hard 9 years marriage but slowly i’m moving on thank God for my pasts it helped recover by thinking the right things to do.

  9. Avatar
    Somone

    I’m cold hearted and black hearted…. I know it’s fucked up, but the hard part is trying to find someone that will love u.. the thing I know is the reasons I’m like this is because of my ex best friend she made fun of my depression and cutting.. there’s more I’m not going to talk about it. Let’s just say this world is pretty pretty princess and rainbows it’s a better version of hell…..

  10. Avatar
    Happuch karen

    I actually have this guy I love who recently told me that he is cold hearted because of someone that badly hurt him.I cant lie but I felt bad cause I really love him so what can I do

  11. Avatar
    Jodie Adkins

    I’m from Albany Kentucky./ Its hard dealing with a cold hearted person… even though that’s the only person you have in your life!)

  12. Avatar
    Mahesh bathina

    I am cold hearted every point u mentioned is exactly correct. But u have seen me as i am a problem caller for u. But every cold hearted person have a bad situations which pushed us in these area. But remember we are the one who trusted every one and beaten by the broken dreams.

  13. Avatar
    Irissh Lanese Boyd-Russell

    I have dealt with cold hearted people first without knowing they were cold hearted then I moved away because they began to get caught in lies and then they just began to get caught stealing and not giving a damn then they just began to lie to make it seem as if I was loosing my mind or had alzeheimers. They are not remorseful they try to continue to be in your life. They play stealing games. And they laugh at being cruel to other human beings as if you deserve what looks like treatment from the mentally ill. And they initiate the behavior and when you address them they call you crazy. I guess crazy to think they really care about others or crazy to think they would pay you back from manipulating money from you in the first place and crazy to think they care about you in the first place since they have the ability to steal from others they live around. Some of them will just blow it off as that happened so long ago yet the stealing they do continues well into decades later.

    1. Avatar
      Tangie E Crowell

      I am in a relationship with a cold hearted guy and he don’t care about no one feelings. I am trying to build my relationship with God so he can help me to let go of his guy. This is our second time in this relationship. Same as the first one. He never change.

  14. Avatar
    Irissh Lanese Boyd-Russell

    If you are not careful those kind of people will leave you desolete, angry, hurt and only laugh at you when they are dead and finished.

  15. Avatar
    Omar

    I love so much my girlfriend of 4 months. I believed she doesn’t love and been cold of my needs. Or i am just being to sprung over her that everything blinds me. Sometimes i just want to find someone that really appreciates me…She’s from South Vietnam.

  16. Avatar
    Pussy cat

    Spot on I have one in my Family

  17. Avatar
    Nola

    “First impressions speak volumes. So if yours is telling you to stay away from a certain person, then it might be a good idea to do just that.”

    I think this is a judgmental/shallow approach to new people.

    First impressions are OFTEN mistaken or caught somewhat out of context. A lot of people have idiosyncrasies that may appear cold-hearted to someone who doesn’t know them, but they are actually genuinely sweet and kind. I think genuinely good people are also sometimes caught/seen at their worst, and that shouldn’t be regarded as who they ultimately are.

    And remember a first impression goes both ways. Someone you are judging might think YOU are cold-hearted if you are unwilling to engage with them a second time, especially if you just “stay away” from them.

    This kind of judgmentalism is exactly the sort of societal behavior that leads a lot of people to cold-heartedness in the first place.

    I don’t believe anybody is naturally that cold-hearted. It’s because people judge them and mistreat them and avoid them, or some other trauma has occurred, so they become cold-hearted as a protective mechanism. The individualistic nature of our society leads people to isolation; our society at large lacks warmth because it lacks true communities.

    I don’t think anybody should be avoided. That’ll only make society even worse because these people will become more distant and more cold. These are the people that TRULY need friendships and community support the most.

    I mean, when I really look at people, who’s truly cold-hearted? The one acting out? How can their heart ever defrost or grow again if nobody will give them patience, reliability, or care?

    I think it’s high time that as a society, we stop judging and profiling and avoiding people, and instead try to be more inclusive and sympathetic.

  18. Avatar
    Rose

    Thank you for the light. I never agreed with my gut for 17 years. I never thought it is true but today I know what to do. I wasted my time, but its never too late to be free.

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