Everyone works so hard to make good first impressions that it can often be misleading as to the type of person they truly are.

These false first impressions can lead to us feeling let down or fooled by people we thought were friends or those we felt were important.

We are constantly around people, and it is human nature to get to know different people in different social situations. We make an effort to get to know people, so when they aren’t who we thought they were, it can be disappointing. It is easy to be drawn in by charm and confidence, but when we really get to know a person, they could be completely different to who we first thought they were.

But, there is a solution. Instead of being fooled by false first impressions and over played positive characteristics, there are seven ways that you can quickly assess someone’s personality without them even noticing. If you are looking to meet new people, or even hire a new employee, these simple aspects can help you to discover their true personality despite their first impression.

1. How do they make you feel?

Do they make you feel warm and happy or self-conscious and embarrassed? It’s completely natural to enjoy appreciation and compliments, they give us a warm sense of companionship and this is important in order to develop a true friendship. Yet, we only feel this way if we feel that those words are genuine.

If you feel as though they may be speaking with an ulterior motive, then approach with caution, as you may end up feeling embarrassed and used later on. If this is how you feel, then it may be better to steer clear of this person, they could end up being big trouble later.

2. How long can you spend with them?

When we really connect with someone, we enjoy spending time with them, and it’s easy to spend a lot of time with someone without even noticing. If you feel as though time flies when you are with a certain person, then you are one of the lucky ones, as connections such as these are few and far between.

If you feel as though spending time with them is a task, or you can only deal with them in small doses, then maybe you should reassess the situation and how real your friendship truly is.

3. How much do they listen, and how much do they talk?

In conversation, we want to feel as though our point of view is being heard and that our opinions are taken into consideration. If you feel as though the other person is truly listening, then they are a genuine and caring person. It is important to listen to people as well as to the voice of your own thoughts.

If you feel as though they may simply enjoy the sound of their own voice, then this is another story. Talking too much means that they are not willing to listen to other people and they think that their opinions are more important. This is probably not someone you would want a meaningful connection with, and definitely, someone who could work well in a team situation within a job.

4. Is their kindness skin deep?

Kind actions make everyone feel good, but it may be a tool that is used to make someone look good. Genuinely nice people will brighten your day and make you smile just because they want to see you smile. But others can use apparent kindness to make good first impressions or achieve a higher goal, and this is not somebody that you would want to be around.

If you feel that a kind act is being done to impress or to convince you of something, then maybe you should be a bit warier of future kind acts and what these overly nice people may be trying to achieve.

5. Actions or reactions?

You can say the same thing to five people and get five different reactions and results. In a work situation, you may give feedback and expect action upon it, and if you get this, then you have found a model employee. If you simply get a reaction, whether it be trying to explain away a mistake or getting angry, this will shine through very quickly and is not someone ideal for working situations.

In social situations, you may want support or help, but if you only get reactions, this is not the kind of friend who will really help you through. As they say, actions speak louder than words.

6. Body language

Body language is instinctive, and it happens before we can even control it.

Closed body language is a tell-tale sign that someone feels defensive or closed about something, and if this is the case, then it can beg the question as to what they may be hiding.

Open body language and smiling faces make it much easier to make a connection and develop a relationship, as both parties are much more comfortable and open with one another.

7. Gut reactions

Ultimately, the best way to judge a person is by your gut reaction to their behaviours. If you feel sceptical of something, then there is probably a good reason for you to feel this way.

It can be difficult to connect with real people nowadays, as everything is based online, and even real meetings can be a failure if it is the wrong person. We hope that this has helped you to quickly assess the personality of another person, so you don’t get fooled with false first impressions in future.


  1. http://www.lifehack.org
  2. https://hbr.org
  3. http://observer.com

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