Why Deep People Often Feel Alone and Misunderstood (and What They Can Do about It)

/, Personal Development, Personality, Self-Improvement/Why Deep People Often Feel Alone and Misunderstood (and What They Can Do about It)

feel alone and misunderstood deep people

Do you often feel alone and misunderstood by other people?

Believe me, you are not the only one who feels this way. There are many people out there who are misunderstood and even underestimated by others because of certain personality traits. Paradoxically, these individuals are usually much more talented, intelligent and deep than those who reject them. Still, being uninterested in popular things along with being too reserved and introspective may make you appear a sort of freak to the mediocre minds.

It’s all because human beings tend to be cautious and judgemental towards those who live, think and behave differently. So if you don’t share the interests and beliefs of the majority, you will probably face misunderstanding and rejection at some point in your life.

Some may judge you for being too quiet, unfriendly or aloof; others may believe that you are a weirdo because you are passionate about things they cannot understand. It’s not uncommon when even your close ones, such as your parents or your partner, seem to misinterpret your lifestyle and underestimate your passions. No need to say that this can be much more painful than the lack of understanding from people you are not so close to.

So what can you do when you feel alone and misunderstood?

1. Accept the fact that deep people rarely have the privilege to be truly understood by others

Sometimes, the best way to stop worrying about being misunderstood is to accept it as a reality you cannot change. You need to realize that other people have a different perspective on what’s right or wrong, good or bad, interesting or boring. Unfortunately, most of us don’t even try to actually understand someone – we are too quick to judge because it’s much easier.

So instead of holding grudges and being mad at the world, accept it as a fact and move on. Remember the quote by James Blanchard Cisneros: ‘Once you awaken, you will have no interest in judging those who sleep.’

2. Seek to connect with the right people instead of trying to become more likable to the wrong ones

It’s pointless to try to connect with people who cannot recognize the depth of your mind and personality in the first place. You will inevitably face misunderstanding and, as a result, will feel alone and disappointed.

The truth is that only a deep individual can appreciate and understand another deep individual. So seek to make connections with people you resonate with and who have a similar level of consciousness.

A good start would be to find individuals who share the same interests with you. Let’s say you are passionate about literature – so why not join a local poetry club. It may be a difficult task if you are socially awkward, but the presence of interesting people who have a common ground with you will eventually make it easier to start a conversation with some of them. You will see how many deep people you will meet and, who knows, some of them may make really great friends.

3. Follow your passion no matter what others think

The only thing that truly matters is to find your purpose in life and build your lifestyle around it. While your passions and interests may be unpopular, they will eventually help you find your place in life and will fill your existence with meaning. So don’t worry if your dreams and priorities don’t seem “cool” to other people and stop seeking their approval.

I know that it’s much easier said than done, but as soon as you find yourself and your path in life, you will realize that people’s opinion is the last thing that should bother you. Basically, it’s the need to be likable and socially acceptable that makes many of us unhappy (and especially those who are different from the rest).

Finally, remember that it’s okay to feel alone and detached from the world and people from time to time. Individuals with a deep personality are particularly prone to these feelings because modern society is driven by ignorance and superficiality. So it makes perfect sense why they may feel like misfits no one really understands and appreciates. However, it’s not like this and be sure that the right people will see your personality in all its beauty and will appreciate you for what you are.

What are your thoughts on this? Share them with us in the comment section below.

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Anna LeMind

Anna is the founder and lead editor of the website Learning-mind.com. She is passionate about learning new things and reflecting on thought-provoking ideas. She writes about science, psychology and other related topics. She is particularly interested in topics regarding introversion, consciousness and subconscious, perception, human mind's potential, as well as the nature of reality and the universe.

Copyright © 2018 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.


  1. Aditi July 8, 2016 at 8:10 pm - Reply

    A article with a lot of depth; Amazing read!

  2. Alyson July 8, 2016 at 8:39 pm - Reply

    A very good article. Still feel a bit of a freak & very different from the norm. Find it hard to make friends & spend a lot of time on my own

    • brenda July 9, 2016 at 3:26 pm - Reply

      I feel that way also. As I get older, I spend more and more time alone .I am an introvert, which makes it even harder.

    • asaa December 14, 2016 at 3:49 pm - Reply

      hope you find the right one and it will be all different

  3. Agustinus July 9, 2016 at 8:16 am - Reply

    Thank you Anna LeMind for this good article and knowledge.

    I have felt and thought the same as written for almost a year, and now I find this supported thought (article).
    Previously, I tended to questioned many demanded questions to my surrounding. ‘Why they act like this…?’, ‘Why that… ?’ and so on.

    It took some time for people to realize and awake through crystallized knowledge and experience that people are different, unique and have different knowledge and experience.

    Thanks for the wonderful sharing Anna.

    Stay happy folks.

  4. Precious July 10, 2016 at 11:48 am - Reply

    Amazing article, nice.

  5. Suzanne July 11, 2016 at 4:44 am - Reply

    I found this article to be uplifting! My husband and I are both deep, intelligent people who have great interests, and our families don’t understand them & actually mock us about them. We have tried to find people with similar interests, but unfortunately, we currently live in a state where there is no culture. I think we are actually going to have to move, to be nearer our interests & to get farther away from our “superior acting” families.

  6. Syed Miftahuddin Jan October 14, 2016 at 6:32 am - Reply

    Comment…Although my english is very poor but appreciated greately to read yours article and felt as i found my choice and also followed you on twitter.It is something natural to everyone to salect his group in present circumstances.

  7. Vincent October 30, 2016 at 1:53 pm - Reply

    Thank you so much for opening up and sharing your thoughts with the rest of the world. To reach out to those precious few of us who feel and live and think the same way is like a comforting needed hug from far away.

  8. Kegham December 12, 2016 at 8:53 pm - Reply

    Amazing article with lots of reality 🙂

  9. Sharan January 12, 2017 at 3:52 am - Reply

    I figured out that having a nice heart with deep mind is a punishment, I have been living alone since last 8 years & finding partner is very hard as well

    • Melanie bragg October 12, 2017 at 6:17 am - Reply

      I’ve felt this a lot, but I refuse to believe it is a punishment because if I had the choice, I wouldn’t change it to be like the rest of the world… this passion and empathy we share is what allows us to be awake. We just need more of us…. OR we need to stop hiding so we can actually find each other.

  10. HM_ January 27, 2017 at 1:03 pm - Reply

    i can’t believe how accurate this was , but i have one problem is i can’t find people with same interests but its fine 😀

  11. Bob Pershing February 18, 2017 at 11:10 pm - Reply

    Nice article with deep implications.

  12. Barbara Brinson June 29, 2017 at 1:29 pm - Reply

    Great article. It feels nice to be understood for being misunderstood by so many others. I can fully relate to this article and feel this fits who I am. Thank you.

  13. Melanie bragg October 12, 2017 at 6:11 am - Reply

    I am lucky enough to have a mother who is so extroverted that I learnt to be able to speak to people HOWEVER I started to become very scared to talk to people… I was in primary school when this started happening. I was not even 11 and I was crying because I felt so different and because I cared sooo much what other people thought about me… when in reality, a lot of the things I over thought about that hurt me so deeply, the other kids were barely conscious of the affects they were even having on other people at all. I still see adults these days who are so disconnected that they will never understand the pain they put on people like us.
    I was only 15 when I became depressed, 17 when I was suicidal because no matter what, I couldn’t live in a world with ‘these people’. My family are amazing and kind people but I swear they didn’t even feel the thing a I could feel, thy would never understand.

    I’m 24 today and lucky to be here… I had always wanted to go travelling but I was scared to do it alone. 1 because of the fear of the unknown but mostly because I had choosen to spend the majority of the last 18 years of my life, hidden away in a bedroom because I didn’t want to be around people. And then of course, I was also scared of being ACTUALLY alone and on the other side of the world.

    It was about 4/5 months I spent solo travelling and I can tell you, I found my people! What started with a fear of being alone while solo travelling, ended up being the LEAST alone I have EVERRRRR felt in my entire life.

    I met people with similar interests, I met people that were not scared to speak about what they were feeling and the type that wouldn’t judge you!
    It wasn’t in till I got back home to some of the people I had in my life that I realised travel was amazing… but it was the people who made me feel like I wasn’t alone!

    To know this world is out there, a world with people who are similar to me (may be a minority), but it’s changed my life forever.

    You aren’t alone, we are just unseen because this article is correct, it is hard to voice yourself in a judgemental world that doesn’t want to understand… but that doesn’t mean you should see yourself as introverted and continue to hide away… you just need to make that effort, get out of your comfort zone and past the anxieties… stop thinking being different is bad because if we are all hiding, how will we come together and support each other???

    I believe a lot of us are more intelligent, caring etc… just because the majority in the world may be less of this, doesn’t mean we should believe the feeling they give us of being ‘weird’ or ‘outcasts’ because I feel more awake, I feel this can be what kills us or what allows us to be bigger and better.

    See the positives because as much as j said in the past I wanted to ‘be like everyone else’ truth is I DONT! I just want to find more people like me!

  14. Nina March 8, 2018 at 5:38 am - Reply

    This helped me a lot. I feel understood.

  15. C March 16, 2018 at 3:59 pm - Reply

    Me,..to the nth degree. Thank you for writing this. You have helped me today, moving forward.

  16. Carmen March 29, 2018 at 9:44 pm - Reply

    Thanks for this insight. I do have a serious question. What if one does not want to be beautiful to someone who does understand the weirdness?
    I have realised I am weird and deep many years ago. And being alone actually suites me, but I am in a union now where my partner is the same and I dont care for it.. is it wrong to have this opinion?

  17. Si' April 12, 2018 at 7:50 am - Reply

    Many times, I have felt left out, called names, ignored by those I valued. This caused me to become quiet and even seem cold or disinterested. Truly, I pride myself to not make people feel the way I felt growing up. I do not have biological children but I always encourage my nieces and nephews to be comfortable in their own skin and be proud of who they are.
    I never felt like I had a sounding board or someone close to me, to be able to let loose.
    About 3 years ago, I got married. My husband has come to me and stated that I reject his attempts to become close to me. I see it differently and tell him to give me time to be able to communicate with him in the way he can relate. Sometimes it feels like we are speaking 2 different languages. I want to be so untouchable and comfortable with him but it seems as if our separate approaches clash. I have felt so misunderstood my whole life and my husband us the only person I am actively trying to connect to. Sometimes it just gets so frustrating and lonely after all these years.

    • Ruth Hagan May 22, 2018 at 7:53 am - Reply

      That’s really tough, Si’. Advice is not always helpful but it sounds like u really need some support to help build yourself up. A brilliant counsellor or psychologist – who is a good fit for you – could help you develop some real self worth. They could also help you identify what things and events in yr past have contributed to your feelings about yourself and thru that, to see how much those painful experiences said far more about others than you. I have a brilliant wise and empathic psychiatrist who has learned a lot from his own woundedness. Sometimes it has been helpful to have a “family meeting” when my husband comes along and gets some insight into what Im going thru via my psychiatrist… I couldnt do without my psychiatrist (who also prescribes some very helpful medication for my Bipolar ii). 🙂

  18. Donna Ross April 24, 2018 at 3:09 pm - Reply

    Some people think of me of being flirty. I don’t see myself as flirty at all. I am just a nice person. I don’t have that many friends. I am not popular either.People mostly talk to me first. I mostly stay to myself.Maybe if I hide from the world I wouldn’t have this problem.

  19. Ruth Hagan May 22, 2018 at 7:38 am - Reply

    I was told effectively this morning, by someone I usually put a lot of faith in, that I was too impatient with the new rector of my Anglican parish. There was some truth in what she said and that I probably needed to hear, but it didn’t come with much understanding or affirmation. Up until 3 yr ago we had a brilliant woman priest who was so encouraging and empowering and allowed us to take risks and initiatives. But then she decided it was time to go and we’ve had a bad run of short stay priests (one of whom was a bloke/male who couldn’t deal with assertive women, was very superficial and ended up being a very divisive character for the community). Some blokes get how destructive disempowerment is, and how empowering others is so crucial – but many don’t. The difficulty is when the support of a leader is so crucial in order to be able to make much of a contribution (the gate keepers in other words!)

  20. jOHN June 10, 2018 at 10:55 pm - Reply

    I rarely leave comments online but reading this helped me so much today so I wanted to express my gratitude. Thank you!

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