Why Deep People Often Feel Alone and Misunderstood (and What They Can Do about It)

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Do you often feel alone and misunderstood by other people?

Believe me, you are not the only one who feels this way. There are many people out there who feel alone and misunderstood and can even be underestimated by others because of certain personality traits.

Paradoxically, these individuals are usually much more talented, intelligent and deep than those who reject them. Still, being uninterested in popular things along with being too reserved and introspective may make you appear a sort of freak to the mediocre minds.

It’s all because human beings tend to be cautious and judgemental towards those who live, think and behave differently. So if you don’t share the interests and beliefs of the majority, you will probably face misunderstanding and rejection at some point in your life.

Some may judge you for being too quiet, unfriendly or aloof; others may believe that you are a weirdo because you are passionate about things they cannot understand. It’s not uncommon when even your close ones, such as your parents or your partner, seem to misinterpret your lifestyle and underestimate your passions. No need to say that this can be much more painful than the lack of understanding from people you are not so close to.

So what can you do when you feel alone and misunderstood?

1. Accept the fact that deep people rarely have the privilege to be truly understood by others

Sometimes, the best way to stop worrying about being misunderstood is to accept it as a reality you cannot change. You need to realize that other people have a different perspective on what’s right or wrong, good or bad, interesting or boring. Unfortunately, most of us don’t even try to actually understand someone – we are too quick to judge because it’s much easier.

So instead of holding grudges and being mad at the world, accept it as a fact and move on. Remember the quote by James Blanchard Cisneros: ‘Once you awaken, you will have no interest in judging those who sleep.’

2. Seek to connect with the right people instead of trying to become more likable to the wrong ones

It’s pointless to try to connect with people who cannot recognize the depth of your mind and personality in the first place. You will inevitably face misunderstanding and, as a result, will feel alone and disappointed.

The truth is that only a deep individual can appreciate and understand another deep individual. So seek to make connections with people you resonate with and who have a similar level of consciousness.

A good start would be to find individuals who share the same interests as you. Let’s say you are passionate about literature – so why not join a local poetry club. It may be a difficult task if you are socially awkward, but the presence of interesting people who have a common ground with you will eventually make it easier to start a conversation with some of them.

You will see how many deep people you will meet and, who knows, some of them may make really great friends.

3. Follow your passion no matter what others think

The only thing that truly matters is to find your purpose in life and build your lifestyle around it. While your passions and interests may be unpopular, they will eventually help you find your place in life and will fill your existence with meaning. So don’t worry if your dreams and priorities don’t seem “cool” to other people and stop seeking their approval.

I know that it’s much easier said than done, but as soon as you find yourself and your path in life, you will realize that people’s opinion is the last thing that should bother you. Basically, it’s the need to be likable and socially acceptable that makes many of us unhappy (and especially those who are different from the rest).

Finally, remember that it’s okay to feel alone and detached from the world and people from time to time. Individuals with a deep personality are particularly prone to these feelings because modern society is driven by ignorance and superficiality.

So it makes perfect sense why they may feel like misfits no one really understands and appreciates. However, it’s not like this and be sure that the right people will see your personality in all its beauty and will appreciate you for what you are.

What are your thoughts on this? Share them with us in the comment section below.


Copyright © 2018 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.

About the Author:

Anna is the founder and lead editor of the website Learning-mind.com. She is passionate about learning new things and reflecting on thought-provoking ideas. She writes about science, psychology and other related topics. She is particularly interested in topics regarding introversion, consciousness and subconscious, perception, human mind's potential, as well as the nature of reality and the universe.


  1. Cassandra Mejia San Bernardino CA June 22, 2018 at 1:08 am - Reply

    Love it.

  2. Suzanne June 22, 2018 at 1:57 pm - Reply

    The Universe led me to your site! You have hit the nail on the head – the article reads like my biography. I have come to accept I am out of step with most of the world, and finally I am ok with it. Thank you!! So glad I’m not the only deep freak out there!

  3. surya June 23, 2018 at 5:22 pm - Reply

    hey thanks for write this article it just realize me that i am worth generally i spend my time in thinking about soul, after death, out of the box creation, observing the peoples, and so much other but mostly people don”t understand my thoughts.

  4. Caleb July 7, 2018 at 12:44 am - Reply

    I find this piece truly consoling, sometimes I feel I am at the verge of breaking down or developing a mental illness. But after reading this I believe it’s normal to be a deep person. All I want to do right now is embrace myself and stop seeking validation from people.

  5. Siya Ngcobo July 8, 2018 at 4:33 am - Reply

    Beautiful article. I needed this

  6. Lylian July 8, 2018 at 2:10 pm - Reply

    Discovering I am not an alien was great!!

    • Ari August 27, 2018 at 8:50 am - Reply


  7. Sallyann July 23, 2018 at 10:07 pm - Reply

    #2 is far more important than I realised until recently, and my life has improved enormously 💚

  8. AD July 23, 2018 at 11:30 pm - Reply

    I needed to hear/read this! Thanks so much for sharing. I was begining to think there was something wrong with me..phew. Truth be told it can be really lonely sometimes especially when misunderstood by the people you love on account of your deep personality.

  9. Titi July 27, 2018 at 12:14 pm - Reply

    I can’t but appreciate how this post has helped. Thanks for this.

  10. Ambili August 7, 2018 at 5:16 pm - Reply

    Loved the article

  11. Sharon Tobin August 15, 2018 at 9:25 pm - Reply

    I am not sure why you think deep thinkers are introverted or quiet or seem weird to others. I am a very deep thinker but I am none of those. I have and need my quiet times but that is all. I agree that deep thinkers are often misunderstood because the majority of the world is shallow. I feel I don’t belong because I have deep compassion and empathy that is not shared by many. I question everything and anything, and I perceive that to be a gift despite the fact it cab be exhausting. This is why I really don’t care for psychologist because you put people in neat little boxes, and we are way too complex for that. NOT all deep thinkers are introverts, unfriendly or aloof. I could not be more opposite.

    • Nicole Winfield October 26, 2018 at 8:31 am - Reply

      I couldn’t of said it any better Sharon. Are we related? Lol

    • Kingsley November 25, 2018 at 5:04 pm - Reply

      Thanks for your reply. It’s so true. Not all deep folks are introverts.

  12. Valentina September 13, 2018 at 6:31 pm - Reply

    Thank you, for writing this article!!

  13. Monika Mohapatra September 22, 2018 at 6:55 pm - Reply

    Such a beautiful article! I needed this so much! Thank you for this!

  14. Liina November 16, 2018 at 12:49 pm - Reply

    People often say to me that I am trying to monipulate them to do what I want. That I attack them verbaly if they do not agree with me. I try to research ideas and ways to understand why they feel this way. Often when I am happy I have figured it out and want to discuss it with them they tell me not to try to judge them and start fights. I cry alot. Take test online, “Am I a toxic or narcisstic person”. Test results say no. But are the people that are supposed to understand me right or the online tests? Why make blanket statements with no explanations as to why or how one came to that conclution. Maybe this it the reason I get those types of reactions.

  15. Rob November 18, 2018 at 2:56 am - Reply

    my wife experiences feeling like this and I get frustrated because I really don’t know how to help her

  16. JMK November 24, 2018 at 12:13 pm - Reply

    Thank you for this article. After being misunderstood today, I will try as much as possible to avoid being misunderstood again, yet I will be misunderstood tomorrow. I just wonder why I am too different many times but I know that I am perfectly OK with a sound reasonable and logical mind. I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

  17. Jax December 1, 2018 at 8:25 am - Reply

    I really needed this. This is something I constantly contemplate. However, my self is not so kind to say that I’m okay being like this. I’ve always felt as if I was made to understand, not to be understood, and this really bothers me in random spurts and I feel as if I’m alone and looking at life and the world through a window. It really hit me when you wrote to simply accept this. That is something I will definitely work towards now. I constantly get so wrapped up in the inevitability of not being understood that I forget to realize that I could try to accept it. Thank you. Truly.

  18. gvee December 14, 2018 at 8:31 pm - Reply

    Right. On. The. Dot.
    Thanks for writing this. =’)

  19. Jannat December 14, 2018 at 10:16 pm - Reply

    Ooòooh my goodness it hits when your misunderstood but it confuses even when your closest friend even parents . My only parent has never understood me in life and he always says am the most proud person he’s ever met I never bark or abuse people but they always fear me . Ooooh

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