One of the best things to do in life is to learn how to stop dwelling on negativity. It’s harder for some than others.

Negativity slows us down, prevents us from reaching goals, and even kills our desires and dreams. So, it’s obvious that we should reduce negativity as much as possible. Now, I would first like to explain that negativity and bad thought patterns are not the same as depression. With having bad thought patterns, you can actually stop dwelling on problems by taking certain steps.

Depression vs Negativity and What People Are More Prone to Dwelling on the Negative

Depression, much like anxiety disorder and bipolar disorder, is a disease. What applies in this post will not work for serious mental illnesses like this. I wanted to get that clear first off.

Negativity or pessimism, on the other hand, can be dealt with quite effectively if you’re willing to utilize the help. Learning how to stop dwelling on the dark side of things takes time. There are certain types of people who find it quite difficult to stop dwelling on negativity. Here are a few examples:

  • Genetically pre-dispositioned to think in a negative manner
  • Those who have fallen into negative patterns from past hurts
  • Lonely people
  • Bitter people
  • Those who cannot stop living in the past
  • People stuck in comfort zones

I am sure you know some of these people, and I bet you’ve wondered why they act and react in the manner they do. Then again, you may have an idea why these people are the way they are. However, there is always hope in turning negativity into positivity with most anyone. To stop dwelling on the bad stuff, you can take a few actions. Listen up!

How to take control of your problems and stop dwelling on them:

1. Recognize negative thought patterns

Not a single thing can be done until you’ve recognized your negative thought patterns. You can try to distract yourself, or you can try to drown your sorrows in some way, but a pattern means… the negative thoughts will come back. If you have a problem that seems to repeat itself, that’s a problematic pattern, which is basically the same thing.

To recognize these patterns, pay attention to how you think in general. As you talk or respond to others, nothing, if everything said, is more or less gloomy. Do you always think the worst of people, or do you always assume something bad is going to happen? These are patterns. If you’ve recognized them, then you can move on to another way of dealing with these problems.

2. Understand the two origins of negative thoughts

There are two very distinct origins of problematic thinking or negative rumination. You either think in terms of dwelling in the past, or you worry about the future. To break it down into simpler terms. If you have negative feelings about a situation, it could be because a similar situation turned sour during your past.

Worry is just worrying. If you don’t know how to stop dwelling on problems or negative thoughts, you will worry about everything that may happen in the future. If you have an event scheduled, especially if you’re an introvert, you will worry until the event is over. Only then will you feel relaxed again.

So, understanding that these thoughts come from the past and future mindsets, you can teach yourself to think in the present time…mindfulness, basically. And this can be done with meditation.

3. Confront the behavior

Sometimes you never notice the bad behavior and the negative habits, but if you do, then it’s time to confront these things. Confrontation with your own problems and negative thoughts will never be easy, but if accomplished once, you can do it again and again, until your outlook has changed quite a bit.

When you confront this behavior, ask yourself why your negativity is so important. Find out why a positive outcome can be just as probable as a negative one. Also, remember, problems sometimes go away without scars or resentments. Confront what you’re feeling and then move on to other strategies.

4. Have a positive forecast

While you may not be able to control everything in life, you can start thinking a bit better. I know, I know, that’s the whole point, you cannot seem to stop dwelling on problems.

How about this? Let’s try to forecast how our future will be, but in a positive light, just as an exercise. Visualize yourself as having a positive outcome in a dreaded situation, and try to practice this forecasting more and more until it becomes a more natural outlook. Yes, it takes a while to train ourselves to think this way, so be patient.

5. Seek a support system

Okay, with this tactic, you must be careful. While isolation can be really bad for your thinking, choosing the wrong friends can also be just as bad. So, in order to stop dwelling on problems, you must seek the right kind of support system to help you remember your positive goals.

You will want friends who support you, yet help you correct your mistakes. These shouldn’t be the kind of friends who are always criticizing you, however. Most importantly, don’t go this life alone. This is where negativity and problems will utterly destroy you.

Leaving the negativity behind

Life is full of problems. Sometimes, they bombard us every day, even to the point of almost suffocation. This is when it can get really rough. But think back, remember all the problems you had in the past and how you somehow survived those things. This is yet, another way to stop dwelling on your problems.

So, keep your chin up and spread what you learn to others who need to the help to make it through.

Sherrie Hurd, A.A.

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This Post Has 5 Comments

  1. Avatar
    Debbie Lowe

    Sometimes,
    some people has to hold onto the negative experiencess.
    The reason why things never change is because after each negative experience.
    One dusts themselves off and lets it go. Never to be thought of again.
    No consideration is taken that thousands of other people will go through thia exact experience.
    Or if they do then maybe they think not my problem or what can i do.
    Its just like the old “forgive and forget” phrase.
    Those who do wrong by others want you to do exactly that, so then they will do it again becasue once you for and forget.
    No one is watching. Everyone moved on while and they continue doing what wrongs they chose to inflict on others.
    So maybe some thought can be added to the letting go process.
    1.Does this happen to others
    2. What can I do to help prevent it from happening again.
    3 Conclude and take action.
    .4 process of letting go
    . Sometimes people cant let go amd they think its because their too weak to overcome adversities.
    .Has anyone thought maybe it’s becasue your hearts so strong it wont allow you to let it go, you just haven’t worked out why not yet.

  2. Avatar
    Chaztikov

    “All I have, are negative thoughts.” –Joker

    1. Sherrie Hurd
      Sherrie Hurd

      There’s no funding…and it’s getting worse too. I also take 7 pills and the psychiatrist that gives them to me is the only one I ever see…every 4 months.

      I both hate and love movies that remind me of myself, and what one push can do.

  3. Avatar
    Margaret Luckett

    I was always a very outgoing, adventurous person – then I got ‘weighed down’ by the unkindness of other people, in particular family members, finding it hard to accept that there was such a lack of empathy for others (not just me) on their part. I would wonder for days the ‘whys’ and ‘wherefores’ – and the incredible selfishness displayed. I made excuses for their behaviour. Then I’d spend a day or so bawling my eyes out and rationalizing whatever the situation was. I finally realized much of the problem’ was in fact,because I would not accept that people I cared for could be this way and I needed to come to terms with it and reclaim my own life, my own self. I believe I have now done so, at the same time realizing every once in a while I will face situations of unkindness again but be better able to deal with it.. Now I ‘look forward’ and am letting go of the unhappy memories. Part of the learning and growing process isn’t it?

    1. Avatar
      Zoe

      Thanks so much for making that comment. It reminded me of my mom.
      It was a painful decision to let her go but I knew I had to because it was either I was happy or she was happy. She always gave excuses for being mean and not taking responsibility for her actions. When I confronted her with it she would suddenly remember ‘forgive and forget’. I still do talk to her but it’s not the same as I used to. I no longer see her as my mom, a responsible adult, I now see her as a child needing love and attention. I used to be depressed before but now I’m happy and looking forward to my future. But I do feel bad for her because of all the wonderful people she scared away from her including my sister and father. I think most people that are unhappy have that one person in their lives that tries so hard to pull them down. I was such a happy kid but being around her for a while made me always negative and unhappy for a very long time until I realized that I was exactly the opposite.

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