We all have certain expectations in our lives. We all thrive to achieve something or become someone. However, at times, we get disappointed because the outcome didn’t match our expectations. It happens with each one of us when things don’t turn out the way we want them to be. The problem is that when our expectations are too high, and they don’t come about, we tend to feel sad. Aiming for something big in life is good. However, it is suitable only up to a certain level. We shouldn’t expect too much from something. So can lowering your expectations make you happier?
Lowering Your Expectations Isn’t about Settling for a Mediocre Life
‘No expectations, no disappointments‘ is a famous phrase that you might have heard. Is it true? What do you think?
In the first place, many of us believe that it’s true because we feel disappointed when our expectations are not satisfied. Life is strange and ever-evolving. We never know what’s going to happen next. We cannot expect anything unachievable or unrealistic. We have to accept the fact that life has a plan for us. We will achieve the things that are in our destiny.
We cannot change God’s plan. Expectations are the strong beliefs that make us believe that something will happen or something will turn out to be true. In actual fact, we expect certain things because we are not satisfied with the present. As a result, when we can’t accept reality, we tend to think of ideal situations to satisfy ourselves and expect things that can be unrealistic.
Having higher expectations is a sign that you’re not fully living your life. Subsequently, if your expectations are not met, you tend to become sad. Don’t waste your life and worry about fulfilling your expectations.
Instead, get up and take life as it is. Don’t get discouraged. If you wish to make your life easier, stop expecting too much from everything. Life can be more fulfilling, happier and less stressful simply by paying attention to your expectations and taking steps to lower them.
Following are some of the things that you should keep in mind to live a happy life without expectations:
Be aware of your expectations
As mentioned, we all have expectations in our lives that this will happen, or I would get this. However, not all of them get fulfilled. As such, this is the reason why it is imperative to be aware of our expectations. One should know whether their expectations are achievable or not.
Don’t let these expectations dishearten you later. Categorize your expectations as goals, vision, and beliefs. Then filter out things that you can achieve in a time frame and set a time limit for yourself. Don’t expect too much in a limited time frame. Otherwise, it will only discourage you later in the process.
Stop expecting from other people
The best thing that you can do to avoid disappointments would be to have no or zero expectations from others. Your expectations make you feel miserable, so lowering them can make you happier. Stop expecting that people would behave in a way that you want. Open yourself to both positive as well as negative comments.
For instance, you need to understand that you cannot control what other people would think of you. However, what you can do is to accept that they have their opinion and you cannot change it.
Don’t stress yourself for something that you can’t change. We all wish to receive positive comments and positive feedback. However, it cannot happen every time. Therefore, don’t expect strangers or even your known ones to behave in a particular way. Remember, everyone has a different perspective, and you should respect it. Instead, be kind to yourself, and be helpful to people.
Stop expecting people to like you
If one person likes you, it doesn’t mean the whole world will love you. Everyone has a different perspective and different nature. You should never criticize someone for not liking you or for not agreeing with you.
Actually, it is a very foolish act that a person can do to try and make others like them. So don’t get in the battle of being liked by everyone. Instead, love yourself and stay kind to yourself. If you can’t accept yourself for what you are, don’t expect others to accept you and like you.
It is a crazy world, and you’ll meet different kinds of people. Some will like you, and others won’t. The same thing will happen to you. You might meet new and interesting people and you may not like some of them. And that’s life. Don’t expect everyone to be fond of you and like you for your behavior.
You can’t be right all the time
You need to understand that you are not always right. You can be wrong. Likewise, if you think you’re right, it doesn’t mean that others feel the same. Maybe, from their perspective, they don’t find that behavior to be correct.
Therefore, it is advisable to stop needing to be right all the time. If you’re wrong, accept that you’re wrong. Don’t try to prove yourself or justify the fact that you’re right. Take small steps in life and enjoy all the wrongs and rights. Learn from the things that you have done wrong.
Focus on process, not outcome
One of the biggest reasons that we feel disappointed is because we only focus on the outcome and forget the process. We all have goals — however, only a few focus on the process. Most people focus on the outcome and have beliefs in their minds that they would achieve this or that.
If you wish to achieve something big in life, the best thing would be to fall in love with the process. When you start thinking of the outcome, you tend to have expectations. And when you don’t meet those expectations, you tend to feel sad, which sometimes also leads to mental health issues.
The process is the most crucial step. If you have a specific goal in mind, you should work every day to be able to achieve it. Create a timeline, create a plan, and follow the process. At times, plans also fail. Win or lose; you’ll have something to learn.
Stop comparing, stop judging, stop expecting
Comparing yourself to others and judging others are some of the root causes that lead to expectations. When we compare ourselves, our hopes become even higher. We expect more from ourselves, without thinking if it can be achieved or not.
If someone can do that by that age, it doesn’t mean you should also do it. You are unique. You have different strengths and weaknesses. Don’t compare yourself to others and over-think that you should do what they do.
Both judgments and comparisons create negativity. Because of these perceptions and comparisons, we have an additional set of expectations. We tend to believe what we should do and what we should not. Don’t judge others. Set your path so you can be free to live life to its fullest.
Life is not perfect. You’ll have peaks of joy along with valleys of heartaches. Don’t add expectations in it. Lower your expectations and appreciate life as it is. Letting go of expectations is one of the best things you can do in your life.
Life is more like a roller coaster ride. Don’t complicate it more by adding your set of expectations. Say yes to the adventure and embrace the beauty of life. Just by lowering your expectations, you can take one step forward towards a happy life.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Haifa Aboobacker is a growth assistant at AirTract.Com, a social platform in which people ask questions, get answers, read articles, share knowledge and experience. She is a communication engineering graduate and a digital marketing buff who is fascinated by the best SEO practices and content strategies. She loves to make friends and explore places, and she chooses reading in her time off.
Copyright © 2012-2021 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.