The funny thing about friends is that… I have few of them. The reason is that it’s difficult to find real ones. In truth, some people are just pretending to be your friend.
Fake friends, to me, are worse than a stranger and almost as bad as an enemy. They use you, hurt you, and then come back pretending like nothing happened. Yes, it sounds kind of toxic, doesn’t it? Sometimes those who are pretending to be your friend truly are toxic.
Signs pointing toward a fake friend
Here’s the good news. If you know what to look for, you can tell if someone is pretending to be your friend. They will show either obvious or subtle indicators that they’re not what they seem to be.
So, the next step is to pay close attention to the way they treat you. Here’s several ways to tell if a friendship is fake.
1. They always need something
There’s nothing wrong with needing help. However, friends who are constantly asking you for money or other things may not really be your friend at all. This behavior can be subtle sometimes, as they may call to see how you’re doing after a long period of being absent from your life.
Then just as you’re warming back up to them, they’ll ask for a favor a day or two later. Some people are just good at using others but terrible at being a true friend.
2. They disappear when you need them
Notice how some friends always need things, but when you need something, they cannot be found. Yeah, that’s a huge red flag. They use excuses when you need help, like telling you that they’re helping someone else, or they’re sick.
It’s not beneath them to lie to get out of showing support or lending a hand. Real friends help you out when you need it, and fake friends just turn into ghosts.
3. They’re draining
Being around a fake friend will drain you. They’ll be negative most of the time and only talk about their problems. When you do get the chance to talk about something good, they’ll find the words to make your good news look bad.
Let’s say you tell them about your new car. A true friend would be happy for you. Instead, this pretender will either talk about your high payments or how they wish they could get a new car. It always turns bleak when talking to draining friends.
4. They talk about you to others
If you have a friend that gossips about others, be sure they are also talking about you to others as well. This type of friend loves to move from person to person, gaining information and spreading it as far and wide as they can.
It’s uncertain why people do this, and it seems so immature. But real adults act this way, even into old age. If you think a person like this is your friend, stop fooling yourself.
5. They hold grudges
There are times when friends hurt you, and you may not speak to each other for a couple days. That’s okay because it gives the both of you time to cool off.
Well, a fake friend takes this to another level, and it’s called the grudge. People who aren’t really your friends will hold grudges for extremely long times, weeks, months, years, and sometimes indefinitely.
The good part about this is if they’re still holding that grudge, then at least they’re not bothering you. If they come back after several weeks, you’ll know what they really are, and you might want to limit your time with them in the future.
6. They aren’t supportive of your success
When something good happens to you, like getting a promotion with a raise, or winning money in a contest, a fake friend will not be happy for you. They will be jealous. However, they will stick around to see how much money they can get from you.
Notice how many times they ask for help because they’ve just ‘had a bit of bad luck’ or something similar. These things will also probably be lies. If your success doesn’t include money, they’ll still be jealous, but may not come around as much. They may gossip about you instead.
7. They really don’t know you at all
While people may seem to know surface level things about you, unless they are true friends, they’ll miss the deeper things.
Fake friends know your name, where you live, and even members of your family. But they won’t know what really makes you tick – they won’t understand your issues, why you have a certain taste in music, and they will not inquire about your culture.
True friends are deep friends, fake friends barely know you.
Do you know who your real friends are?
When someone is pretending to be your friend, they will send out a certain vibe. As you learn how to read them, and keep these suggestions in mind, you can separate the real from the fake.
But don’t be alarmed when people use you. In a way, they wish they could have the depth of personality and character that you have. Bless them anyway and be kind. Never bend to their level and always try to keep real friends close by for support.
Have a great day and keep it real 😉
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