Self-esteem issues are commonly known in today’s society.
With so much expectation and pressure coming from every direction, it’s no wonder that many people have trouble with their confidence. While some of them have friends and family who notice and support them, many others are left to their own devices and need to find ways to cope on their own.
Luckily, there are ways to overcome self-esteem issues and most, if not all, can be traced back to these three reasons – and all of them can be overcome.
1. Being someone else
What most people do in order to fight their self-esteem issues is being someone else other than themselves. They pretend they are superheroes or go to conventions, role-play, pretend they are their friends or neighbors and generally do everything they can not to be themselves. This is due to the fact that their environment usually doesn’t accept them for the way they are.
Some families are not liberal and often they punish or neglect their children for being something other than what they envisioned. As a result, these children have self-esteem issues that trace back to their childhoods, and the only way to overcome these issues is to become someone else who doesn’t live in that house.
While it’s not as simple as flicking a switch, becoming yourself is the best possible thing you can do in this situation. Embrace who you are and don’t let anyone else determine what you are going to do with your life. At some point, you will be left on your own, years down the line, and then you will have to depend on your own abilities and personality. Don’t let anyone else determine who you are going to be.
Your self-esteem will develop exponentially when you accept who you are. Whether you are a painter in a medical family or gay in a religious family – these things take time and struggle is never easy. Having friends in these situations is important so find whoever understands you and hold on to that person – even though it’s you yourself in the end.
2. Overthinking about everything
Overthinking is a way of questioning your own past and future decisions, imagining all the worst scenarios that can happen. It causes not only self-esteem issues but also severe anxiety if you don’t treat it right. Overthinking can be useful in certain situations when you are having a moment of reflection and thinking about life, but not on a daily basis.
People who struggle with overthinking tend to have problems with ordinary things such as going to a supermarket because they will overthink all the different items they may or may not buy. It connects to self-esteem by blocking your ability to make decisions on the go, and you will have to make tough and momentary decisions all the time during your life.
Overcoming overthinking problems lies in overloading your brain with as much activity as possible so that you don’t have the time to overthink. By having a full and interesting schedule all day long, you won’t have time to sit and think about what might have happened.
3. Being unable to say “no”
One of the hardest things for any person struggling with self-esteem issues is to say no to someone. Their confidence is not strong or independent enough for them to stand up for themselves and do something they want to do personally. Saying “no” to someone means that you are rejecting to do something for them – this is sometimes a good thing to do in life.
Doing otherwise might lead you to financial problems, problems with the law or even losing your friends or family. These are serious issues that people with low self-esteem can’t avoid due to the fact that they can’t refuse to help someone – they finally have someone’s attention and they are delighted with it. Not everyone you meet will want to do you good, and overcoming the fear of saying “no” is the essential lesson you should strive to overcome.
Overcoming the fear of saying “no” to someone is similar to the issue of overthinking, and it lies in having too much to do during the day. For example, if you are a student, you can join a club or sports team; do anything you want to do besides your lectures and assignments. Once the exams come around, your lessons about saying “no” will begin, because you will instinctively begin to prioritize what’s important.
You won’t be able to do everything and still manage to come out on top – saying no will be essential to making it through life. Your self-esteem will build on the foundations of being able to stand up for yourself. You don’t have to get in a fight or make trouble just to boost your self-esteem. A simple “no” to bad ideas and suggestions every once in a while will do exactly that and help you overcome your self-esteem issues in no time at all.
Self-esteem issues are difficult to overcome no matter who you are. They are a worthwhile struggle, however, your life will be much easier tomorrow if you beat them today. Swallow your fear and start working on making your future better – all it takes is a small step forward, every day from now on.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Chelsea Ann Dowdell is an educational lecturer, she has her own educational blog Rewarded Essays and she never stops the process of self-growth. Blogging is her hobby.