Low self-esteem is what creates the feeling of inadequacy. Many people don’t even understand where it originates.
Low self-esteem has a strong negative influence on all spheres of life: it attracts unhappy relationships, prevents promotions at work, and makes you feel like everything surrounding you is gray and unfair. What subconscious programs create low self-esteem and how can you get rid of them?
How comparisons work
Low self-esteem is an unconscious underestimation of self-importance, value, and uniqueness. We as humans, just don’t give ourselves enough credit. But in any case, we compare ourselves to others to make things worse.
People, working on their personal development, understand that every person is a whole universe in their own right – they are unique and different from all the others. You have to know that it is impossible to always be the best in everything, but you can, however, be perfect in your own uniqueness.
When comparing yourself to others, you diminish your dignity and affirm that you are just one of million. Usually, a person with low self-esteem always makes a comparison that’s not in his favour: one has a more expensive car than his one, someone else has a cooler job than he does, another one is more attractive than him…and so on.
A Balance in self-esteem
An important aspect of self-esteem is realizing there is a balance. It can be detrimental to your mental health to have either low or extremely high self-esteem. Finding a comfortable middle ground is key. This eliminates the need for comparisons in both directions.
For instance, celebrities continually battle self-esteem in both natures. On one hand, a new celebrity can suffer from low self-esteem from not acquiring a role, while another celebrity can suffer from self-esteem that is too high simply because fame has elevated the ego. It’s fascinating to watch some individuals of this nature, teeter between the two. Have you noticed this before?
For many people, the only incentive to action is their pinched ego. “I’ll prove to them that I am better“, “He laughs best who laughs last” – often these incentives lead to success. BUT, do they lead to happiness? All have long forgotten about you and are occupied with their own life, you see. Life can pass by while you’re trying to prove something to someone. And what about your dreams? What about your real goals?
And then there’s hope
You can always change your life. You can find more opportunities if you strive for success. No laws, no people, no economic crisis or any other external factor can interfere if you set a goal. But if you have low self-esteem, you can twiddle your thumbs and wait for the day when the clouds disperse, and someone else hands out happiness and success on a silver platter. Hmm, how long do you think that will take?
Wake up! By hoping for a better life you’re doing nothing to become successful and happy. You need to think it over and take action, even if it means a change of thinking. Try seeing yourself in a different light, maybe this will boost your low self-esteem.
It’s an endless search for approval
It is another clever trap of our own ego. When you doubt your own opinion, you start looking for validation from others. It is appropriate to ask someone what you look like from the back. But is it appropriate to ask others about the right to exist?
When following the advice and values of other people, you lose your own personality. Your mother may tell you where to work, the grandmother may teach you how to live, and your husband says who to talk to… But do you really know what YOU want in this life? Think about it again!
Want to learn more about how to develop higher self-esteem? Check out these simple and effective tips on how to increase self-confidence. Also, start waking up every morning and making a decision to create a good day with the idea that you are more than worthy. Let’s do this together and change our self-image for the better!