It’s difficult to see when you’re being taken advantage of by those who are supposed to care for you. But it’s time you take notice.
“Family” and “friends” – the words should represent love, care, devotion, and commitment, but often this is not the case. You may think things are supposed to be the way they are with your loved ones, but you could also be wrong.
Being taken advantage of by family or friends is a hard pill to swallow. It can make you doubt the validity of both relationships.
Why do we need our family and friends?
Well, it’s a bit more obvious why we need our families. Our families were there, for some of them, since the day we were born. They’ve watched us grow and made us feel secure in our lives.
Although our friends do not have such a bond, it can feel as though they are family as well. This is why being taken advantage of by either one is so hurtful and damaging.
6 signs that you’re being taken advantage of by your loved ones:
1. They talk/you listen…always
First, I must admit that I have been guilty of this myself. I would run to a friend and start spilling my problems, never thinking they might have a bit of venting to do themselves. I was taking advantage of my friends in this way. And yes, I am trying to get better with this fault.
Family members will also treat each other the same way. There will be one who always needs to vent and one who will always be the one member of the family who takes in everybody else’s drama.
In the case of being the singular backboard for multiple drama and venting, this means almost the entire family is taking advantage of one person. This can cause serious damage to one person’s mental state. Who can they vent to?
So, with that being said, there should be a balance between talking and listening. Practice this daily until you’ve gotten better. If you’re the victim of this, tell your friend or family member that you want to be able to talk too.
This will let you know whether or not they are truly your friends. It will also let you know if you will be able to deal with certain family members on such a level.
2. When they’re in need, you will see them
Have you ever noticed that some ‘friends’ only come around when they need help? This is a glaring sign that they are taking advantage of you. They see you as a resource for their problems, especially financial ones.
If everything is going well for them, you won’t be seeing their faces much at all. They probably won’t even call unless they need help.
This is also true with family, even more so than with friends. Try to contact them just for a chat and see how fast they try to get rid of you. This will let you know that you are not a friend. You are a well of opportunity.
3. You are their biggest fan
Okay, it’s great to congratulate your friends and family on accomplishments, but what’s not okay is to be their constant fan. What this does, makes them look great while you stand in the shadows. And, if you disagree with a “dumb” thing they’ve done, and I mean obviously irresponsible to anyone that can see, they will get angry.
They will also argue that what they’ve done is a good thing and you should be proud. To them, the ones who take advantage of kindness, you should see the things they do as perfection. This is not a true friendship, and these actions come from dysfunctional families.
4. You pay for everything
Whether it’s a family function or a night out with your best friend, if you’re always footing the bill, then something is wrong. My dear friend, these people are taking advantage of you. It’s good to pull your weight, I get it, but what’s not right is for your friends, family or even boyfriends to let you pay for everything all the time.
It doesn’t even matter if you make a huge amount of money. Sometimes, it’s best to have a picnic and let the other person pay for all the food and refreshments. This should be balanced, or you got yourself a leach, not a friend. You have a leach in your family too.
5. They’re always compliment fishing
Did you know that one of your friends may have you around for the sole purpose of giving them compliments? If they’ve ever talked about how they feel ugly, and you’ve given them a compliment, they will return, over and over again for the same treatment. They will do this, even more, when you’re around other people.
This is to boost their ego in front of others, making others notice compliments that may be a bit too vaulted to be true. They’re using you to make them appear better than they really are.
The family will do this too. Your own brother may always say he’s a failure just to hear you tell him how great he is and how many accomplishments he’s made. They’re just using you, so cut this to a minimum.
6. They never make sacrifices
We see this many times in intimate relationships, but did you know that friends and family do this too? Yes, they most certainly do. You may give up going on a date to help your sister with her homework, but when you ask for help in return, she won’t do the same. She just leaves you to fend for yourself.
A friend may ask you to be with them when a family member has passed on, but then when the same happens to you, he just cannot be there for you.
Now, I know there are times when these things happen when innocent circumstances can’t allow for the reciprocation of returned help, but sometimes, they’re just too selfish to return the love they were given.
It’s lonely to feel used
Not only does it make you feel lonely when someone doesn’t do for you what you would do for them, but it’s also heartbreaking. You would never have imagined a best friend ditching out on you, or your own mother using your gifted abilities to gain status in a new school.
But you know what, it happens, and we are all imperfect. Like I said before, I have taken advantage of friends before, but honestly, it took a long time to figure out what I was doing. I actually thought my actions were normal. So, remember, some of these people may not understand that what they’re doing is wrong.
If you feel as though someone is taking advantage of you, don’t hesitate to tell them how you feel. You should always go to the person who you feel has wronged you, and try to find a solution. I hope things go well. Not all relationships have to remain tarnished.
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- How to Stop Being Toxic & 7 Signs You Might Be a Toxic Person - April 13, 2021
- How It Feels to Be the Black Sheep of the Family & How to Cope - April 4, 2021
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