It’s easy to criticize yourself, especially when others criticize you too. Feeling inadequate is hard when rebuilding your self-esteem.
At least one point in our lives. We’ve felt inadequate. You know that voice, the one that says, “You’re not good enough”, “You’ll never find true love”, yeah, that voice.
Well, the truth is, its been around since your childhood. I bet you didn’t know that. Feeling inadequate came from some instance, most likely in childhood, where someone made you feel unloved or unwanted. Now, you feel the same way when dealing with your insecurities.
“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”
Dealing with the critic within
There’s a person within you that tells you the lies about your person. They aren’t nice, and they pull no punch when it comes to reminding you about your short-comings. Do you wish to silence this voice?
Well, there are some ways to deal with this critic within and stop feeling horribly inadequate. Then you can really live your life.
1. Roots, roots, roots…
So, as I mentioned earlier, your inner critic comes from some long-ago insult or abuse. It’s true.
Say, your parents told you, “You’ll never be worth anything unless you act like your cousin, Martha”. Yeah, that was an actual statement my mother said to me. I started feeling the sting of being inadequate almost instantly.
Maybe she watched my cousin get awards in school or maybe heard stories of her achievements, But it made me feel like a failure. Now, I do struggle with inadequacies, and it takes strength to fight.
Hey, look at your roots, then you will know it wasn’t you, but the one who insulted you. Maybe they felt inadequate by the way they raised you. Ever think about that?
2. Awareness is key
When you start feeling emotions of being inadequate, stop and realize one important thing. These are only thoughts. They do not rule your life, and you know that you’re better than what you give yourself credit for.
Question these thoughts and then attempt to turn them around as they come. Be aware of what passes through your mind, and filter it accordingly.
3. See the inner critic as a challenge
Understand, these feelings that you are inadequate will never truly go away forever. I know, that’s not such a positive idea, huh. But, all is not lost. You can think about it this way: You can use your inner critic to build yourself up.
When you think you’re lazy or someone has made this comment, use this to start moving, get in shape, and even improve your health. While insults about your laziness or weight gain are not nice, you can use them as a tool to better yourself.
Just try it and see how great it actually works.
4. Contradict the inner critic
Here’s an interesting way to combat the inner negative voice. For example, your inner voice says, “You’re ugly”. Now, that’s a statement many of us have heard in our lives at some point. Well, you can take this statement and word it in a way that says positive things about you.
Instead of saying, “Yes, I am ugly”, you can say, “ I may not be the most beautiful person in the world, but I am still beautiful”. This statement helps build you up and stand strong against those who make you feel bad about yourself.
5. Ask for help
Feeling that you’re inadequate can get overwhelming and sometimes make you want to give up. Don’t ever give up. In fact, start practicing self-care which will, in time, start to build better self-esteem.
If you have to, take pictures of your accomplishments or write in a journal about what you’ve done lately. Don’t ask others for help, ask yourself for help in order to feel good about yourself again.
You might be surprised by all the good qualities that remind you of your self-worth.
6. The inner critic lies
Did you know that the critic within will tell you lies? You cannot always count on the words that come from inside. If you’ve made a to-do list, but yet you aren’t able to get all those things done, your inner critic will jump right in with insults about your inadequacy.
Do not fall for these lies. Instead, tell yourself, “No, I did not finish today, but I am further than I was yesterday”. The truth is, this is just fine, and your inner critic can go get a life, so to speak.
7. Don’t be a slave to your inner critic
When feeling those inadequacies, do not become a slave to them. Just because your inner critic says you should do something better, this doesn’t mean you should act upon these words.
If your inner negativities tell you to get something done faster, take pause. Maybe it would be better to take your time and get the job done right. You can learn to do what YOU want and not listen to the monster that pushes you from inside.
The inner critic and your feeling of being inadequate
Never start feeling like you are inadequate just because that voice within tells you so.
Trust the true you, the one who makes you feel good about yourself. Yes, listen to this voice instead. This voice will make your stronger and quiet those negative thoughts that have tricked you into thinking you must be better than you are.
Remember, you are good enough just the way you are. Your improvements come by hard work and determination, but they also come by taking a break once in a while and recharging your energies. Just do your best and that will be enough.
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This Post Has 2 Comments
So what if you don’t feel this way because you were abused as a child? Starting by insisting that there’s no way I could possibly feel this way unless I was repeatedly insulted by my parents just means that I can’t relate to the rest of the article, because the entire foundation you’re starting from is inapplicable to me.
Yes, there are other reasons why that inner voice hurts us and derails us. There are so many that it’s hard to list them all. Whatever the reason, those negative words aren’t true. You get to decide who you are. Keep doing this over and over because it will take practice, lost of it. Every single day, sometimes many times a day, you will have to correct your inner voice. I am sorry for anything that did not help you with this writing, and I wish you well.