A hopeless romantic, unfortunately, is out of place in this world. Humans no longer appreciate these rare qualities.

I’m not sure, I have forgotten exactly, but I think I used to be a hopeless romantic. But the world beat me down, drained those lofty and lovely thoughts, and filled me with bitterness instead. But something’s happening, changing…

I didn’t just arrive at this place. I had the romance squeezed out of me…

It’s not easy being a hopeless romantic in today’s world. In fact, it’s a rather unpopular way of life. So many people are chasing notoriety and money, too blind to realize that romance is still important. Those little chivalries like opening the door for others and being polite are underrated in our modern society. Some even consider romance to be a weakness. This is insane!

I haven’t always felt so hopeless. At one time, I dreamed of a love that would sweep me off my feet and treat me like a lady. For the most part, I have encountered quick hook-ups and “just settling” situations. It’s like love took a backseat to convenience, and then we all moved along to greater, more important tasks, like updating social media and watching sports.

Here’s where the hope came

I found something precious, I won’t tell you everything because I just wrote an article about sharing too much information. I will say, however, that the hopeless romantic is still alive and well. He was just hiding behind his game controller and comic books, just a geeky boy. I think he had given up as well.

Here’s the thing. I think it’s always going to be a struggle being a hopeless romantic in today’s world.

I sat down beside him and picked up a comic book. I liked being in the presence of true romance, and I could feel my own romantic roots swelling up inside. I asked him why he was alone and he said that no one wanted to be treated well anymore. No one wanted someone who still believed in old fashioned romance. It was true, everyone was looking for someone to fix or someone to fix them. And there are many other reasons why hopeless romantics struggle with life.

They feel things in amplified versions

Emotions, to a hopeless romantic, are exaggerated. At least, this is how society sees them. To everyone else, the way a hopeless romantic expresses their emotions is abnormal, and this deters so many people from getting to know them, hence the difficulty finding a mate. Instead of appreciating the raw love, sadness, and anger, most people shy away from such realness. I think, in ways, it’s intimidating.

They adore the simple things

I bought a Ninja Turtle Pez dispenser. I gave it to this newfound hopeless romantic and he dropped everything to marvel at the toy. He fell in love with a piece of plastic which dispensed little candies and smiled from ear to ear. I knew I had given him something he adored.

Hopeless romantics recognize the beauty in simple things, things that do not cost thousands of dollars and that sparkle in the sunlight. A true romantic also loves to give gifts in this same manner. The problem with this is that society expects the high-priced gifts and will feel insulted at times by the choices the hopeless romantic makes when presenting sentimental gifts instead of “bling”.

They love hard

I have never, in my entire life, met anyone quite like my geeky boy with the comics. When he speaks, it’s like a cliché love note and when we walk, he holds my hand. Ahem, sorry, I got distracted again.

A hopeless romantic will love so hard that you will forget all others before them. They will text you as much as you text them, they will open those doors for you and they will say “I love you” a hundred times a day. Yes, it can get overwhelming, if you aren’t used to it, but over time, you will appreciate these things.

The problem with loving so hard is that most of the time, you don’t receive what you give. It is a rare thing for such strong love to be matched in turn. You will think about love all day and formulate ideas to show these feelings in creative ways. If love is not returned, the devastation will be just as strong as your unrequited love. ☹ Also, trying to match that love can be daunting for those who don’t quite measure up.

You suffer through loneliness…often

In between relationships, you suffer long periods of loneliness. This is usually due to the damage done from the last relationship. Since your feelings are heightened, the hurt is much worse. You need some time to recuperate, in order to keep seeking love, and you will keep seeking. It is just in your nature. Since you are a hopeless romantic, and you love hard, it will be more difficult to get back into the dating arena.

You feel alien to this world

Like I said, I had given up on people being like I used to be, that is, until I met him. When I tried to compare him with others, it never worked out. He was like something from another world, a rare antique or some beautiful thing that had been discontinued. You know how you find some product you love and then suddenly, they don’t’ make it anymore? Yeah, kind of like that.

In this case, they don’t need to make another one, this one is fine. But to hopeless romantics, it’s common to feel alien in our world today. No one acts like this anymore – speaks in this way, does such considerate things for others and loves with such trust. Unfortunately, our modern world, full of materialistic ideals may be phasing out the hopeless romantic. Let’s hope not.

You are seen as weak

Unfortunately, too many other people see the hopeless romantic as being weak. They see the kindness, humility, and silence as the lack of strength. Today’s society, I hate to admit, is so full of arrogant and negative characteristics: “boys don’t cry”, “love doesn’t last” and one of the worst, “stop being such a girl”.

We, as a human race, are way too focused on how others see us. Instead of truly caring for someone in the right way, we rather appear tough and resilient. A hopeless romantic will love despite the hurt that could be waiting on the other side. They are the strong ones and they never give up, which brings me to the next struggle.

Hopeless romantics, they never give up

No matter how much they should, they won’t let go. They are usually the ones who hold on until the bitter end of a relationship. This is primarily because they see everything as having the ability to get better. To them, the idea of ending love is atrocious. They assume there can be more compromise, communication and definitely more intimacy to heal the wounds.

Hopeless romantics even go to the extreme of sacrificing just about anything to make their mate happy. Maybe they are onto something here. Maybe, as deeply flawed creatures, we want to give up too often. Maybe we are lazy and that’s why we don’t want to make things works.  This is a struggle for the hopeless romantic because their intentions are to love and to love forever.

They are honest

Honesty has little place in this world anymore. Lies have become something normal that we use every day to get what we want. The hopeless romantic is honest, open and vulnerable, and this is a weakness. I sometimes have to tell the boy with the hopeless tendencies to stop revealing so much to other people. I have to remind him that most of these people don’t really care, they just feed off gossip.

But it’s in his nature to be vulnerable, to share things that make him happy/sad/angry. I think it just comes with having such deep feelings and emotions. Because I love him, I try to protect him from the side-effect of his honesty, but his pain still grieves me.

I catch glimpses of the past, of my own hopeless romantic tendencies, and this gives me hope.

I do hope. I hope the world can protect these rare individuals so that others will learn or remember how to be better people. The hopeless romantic is a rare jewel, something that just doesn’t fit in. I think that maybe they could be the answers to our redemption as human beings.

Instead of seeing the struggles and instead of looking down on these individuals, maybe you can learn a few things. As I sit in silence with my geeky romantic, I smile. He reaches over, takes my hand in his own and kisses the top it, then tells me he loves me. It’s just like gentleman used to do so many years ago.

Tell me, have you been kissed like that lately?

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This Post Has 9 Comments

  1. Rune Gaasodden

    wow, I am not the only one alive anyway! Thanks for sharing hope and good writing with the lost ones as myself. Peace, Love, and Eternal Respect!

  2. Carly

    loved reading this. it gave me hope that i will find true love.

    1. Sherrie

      Don’t give up!

  3. Abner Martinez

    This explains so much and now I know why it’s so hard to find love in the world we live in today. Great job!!!

  4. Mohammed

    I’m definitely a hopeless romantic…except I really do feel hopeless when it comes to love. I’ve been rejected twice so far, and had more crushes than that. All these emotions, all this craving for romance, the only problem is that I can’t seem to find it.

  5. Todd

    Felt like I was reading the story of my life. Comforting to know that I’m not alone.

  6. Sam

    Thanks for this, great to know I’m not alone and that it’s okay to be myself!

  7. Ane

    This is me. I got cheated on and I held on to the relationship hoping that things will get better but it broke me. I had 3 relationships and I always get cheated on but I wanna fall inlove again and find someone who’ll be happy with just me.

  8. someone anonymous

    ya see for me this is me but at the same time it not i’m a hopeless romantic that has very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very
    extreme extreme extreme extreme extreme extreme extreme extreme extreme extreme extreme extreme extreme extreme
    TRUST ISSUES so when you meat me you don’t mean ME you meat the wall i put up you mean a women with the bad kind of attitude who acts mean, cruel, emotionless, bitchy, stubborn in the very bad way, selfish, unkind, and so much more that i’m not proud of but in truth its because i’m scarred that’s why act that way i have been hurt so many times no sticks in around long enough to know the real me i have abused physically, emotionally, mentally so there’s a part of me that thinks the more people you let in the more can walk right out and as much as i’m sick of all of it partly because of the way i was raised the wall i put up is stronger then the real me but the thing that wall i put up its the complete opposite of the real me……

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