I have been guilty of saying “I hate people”, but I really don’t. There’s much more to my emotions, and I wish to think positively.

Even the most friendly and extroverted person may say they hate people, but they don’t really mean it because, after all, they usually like people more than some of the rest of us. To be honest, I think we’ve all let this slip out a time or two.

People stuck on the negativity

Then there are others who proclaim their hate more often too, and there are a few reasons they do this. Sometimes hate springs from frustration, fear, and even when you see someone who thinks or looks different from you.

This sort of hate can get stuck inside and change you. There’s another important factor as well. If you start off hating someone, the more negative things you do, the more you will hate them. So how can we cope with these intense feelings?

Coping with the “I hate people” mindset

1. Recognize your true feelings

You may not think you’re guilty of hating people just because you mouth it a couple of times, but you really do carry a bit of strong distaste. Words have more power than you think. In order to cope with hatred toward others, you must first acknowledge that you say these things and sometimes even genuinely feel this way.

It was hard for me to realize what I was saying and feeling, and I always used the excuse, saying, “I just don’t like them, and it’s not the same as hate”, but I came to realize that I did have hatred in my heart. And so, I had to accept it before I could successfully cope with it.

2. Mindfulness exercises

Another way of coping with hatred toward others is by practicing mindfulness. Similar to meditation, mindfulness places you in the present time and coaxes you to think about what’s going on now.

The first thing you will want to do is wish good thoughts on yourself. Then wish kindness and happiness to friends and family, which is pretty easy to do. After that, wish good things for neutral people, those who really have little impact on your life in general.

Then, in a harder act of concentration, wish the same happiness on those who you do not like. When you practice this last one, you may feel the tension in your body. This is when you take deep breaths and try to relax.  Then, wish happiness on everyone else in existence. Practice this often to help soften your hatred.

3. Let it go, let it go

No, I’m not about to sing that Disney song, but you do need to use a certain pattern to let hateful feelings go, like… letting it go. So, try this way of coping:

When you see someone you really don’t like, or even that someone you secretly hate, go ahead, for just one moment and let yourself feel it. Then imagine that dark feeling passing from your mind, down your neck, through your body and down to your feet. Imagine it soaking into the ground beneath you. Then calmly move from the place you were standing.

As you do this, it will distract you from the hatred you’re feeling and calm you enough to deal with them.

4. Grow up

Sometimes you hate people because they have different opinions than you, and that’s it! That is literally the only reason you hate them. I know it may seem petty, and truthfully, it is. Different folks have different standards and they despise each other in many cases.

One way to stop hating people is by accepting that they have an opinion of their own, an opinion that is their right, and your opinion could see just as silly or infuriating to them. So being mature enough to accept differences and move on is one good way to stop hating people.

5. Go ahead now, get to that root

If you’re actually hating on a number of people, group of people, or just everyone, that’s not natural. You weren’t born hating everyone. There is a root to that hatred.

In fact, you could have started hating one particular person, and the feelings spread due to the hurt they caused. Then it spread further until there really wasn’t anyone you did like. The good news is, you can reverse this hatred by tracing it back to its origin. Then start working on healing from there.

6. Recognize why hate is wrong

There are more reasons why hate is wrong than right. For one, hate is never included in anything if you are spiritual because you cannot hate your spiritual brother or sister or you hate yourself.

You see, some believe we are all one, and in ways, we are. It’s also just not fair to hate someone. We all have problems and show really unattractive sides to our personalities sometimes. We want to be forgiven, and we want a second chance to be liked, and so would you. There is never a good reason to hate, but there is always a good reason to love. Recognize this and work on it a bit at a time.

Never say “I hate people” again

Yes, I mean it. Never say those toxic words again. They can do no good and really make you feel bad about yourself later on. Those words have the power to make you feel sick both physically and mentally.  So, try, really hard, to practice love instead of hate. I promise it brings a much better reward.

So, do you really hate people? I don’t think so.


  1. https://www.scienceofpeople.com
  2. https://www.psychologytoday.com

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This Post Has 5 Comments

  1. Leslie

    This is a good general article but could use a part 2 in which toxic kinds of people are examined rather than just assuming that your feeling of dislike/hate has little basis. I find when I feel dislike it usually has a genuine cause… such as narcissists and the world is full of them lol. It is important to acknowledge that the dislike is quite likely telling you something important, such as that you need to avoid that person.

    But of course, the initial feeling of anger/hate has to be transmuted. Like for example, if meeting a person who is an attention hog blow hard, you can tell yourself that they are this way because they are insecure or needy on some level, which is true. That lets in a bit of compassion. But that doesn’t mean you have to suffer fools gladly either. It is OK to just walk away.

    1. That One

      LOL, I find this to be the typical status quo of an initial response to my comments,which offers a different perspective of the article in general.

      You just can’t make this stuff up! It’s to be expected,which is sad and predictive,which speaks to the heart of the comment in the first place.


    2. Sherrie Hurd, A.A.

      Everyone has a story. What I mean by hating people, is indeed just meant to say, “I truly dislike their ways and do not wish to be around them”. And we can hate their ways, yes. As I’ve grown older, I’ve noticed that most people have deep reasons for their toxic actions, so there’s that too. Then you have to look at your feelings of hating people as a simple desire to not want to be around people, and it’s just the way you word how you feel. And we do need to be careful with the language we use, as not to hurt someone and give them even more reason to be toxic.

  2. Christopher D Hill

    Also, there is a difference between hating people and hating the things they do. Hating a person is hating the soul behind the things they do. We all make mistakes, and some of those supposed mistakes are just preferences. It’s important to allow others the freedoms you expect, including preferences and mistakes…that is if you are focused on the person.

    Also, recognize that hate is directly related to what you want…the more you want something you are not getting (or don’t think you will get), the more you potentially hate it. So, when you recognize it’s related to your wants, you begin to see the selfishness of hate…and when you begin to let go of self, you will begin to feel your hate fade away.

    And finally, remember who hate hurts the most…and it’s not them! Hate is intended to motivate improvement, and when you can do something about it, do it. But when you cannot do anything about it, it’s intended to motivate protecting yourself and others with a sense of acceptance, not uncontrolled and destructive emotions. And once you have done everything you can to improve, accept and protect, you can still hate what is harmful, but it becomes more of a thought than an motivated feeling….

    1. Sherrie Hurd, A.A.

      What a wonderful response, Christopher. This is all so true. Hate makes us so bitter, and I have been bitter for many years because of toxic treatment. I will say that I am trying to get better, trying to love people and hate their ways instead, but it takes time and effort. And it is so selfish to hate. AS I sit around and hate someone, I actually see myself as superior to them, even when I’m not trying to. This opens up bigotry, racism, sexism and all sorts of things that I would never feel or say. So, if I hate the way someone treats me, I would be better off trying to figure out why they do the hateful things they do instead of judging or categorizing them. I think we ALL should work on this every day because believe it or not, we all have a bit of bigotry, racism, and sexism in us. We just can’t see it through the anger and hatred. We are one, we have to remember that, brothers and sisters, the human race, and pure love.

      thank you

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