It’s easy for someone to tell you who they are. However, you need to learn to read non-verbal cues if you want to see a person’s true face.
Non-verbal cues can help you learn who you’re dealing with in any given situation. Say, you’re in a relationship and you want to make sure that your mate is loyal, what can you do? Or maybe you’re in a business partnership and you wish to have an element of trust between the two of you, how do you discover discrepancies? Well, ordinary communication might not cut it.
Learning to read non-verbal cues
A step to understanding people and their motivations is to learn how to read what they’re trying to hide. Every single human being has something to hide, unfortunately.
While most of these things are harmless, some of these little secrets can prove detrimental to your relationship with them. In order to grasp the meaning behind what’s behind secret door number one or number two, you must learn a few basic strategies.
The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said.
Here’s an example: Lying
I guess lying doesn’t bother some people as much as others. To me, I hate lying, and although I lie, I try to minimize this and really hate when it’s done to me. I guess that sounds a little contradictory, I know.
But honestly, there are those who find themselves in lies without negative motivation and then there are people who lie as easily as they breathe. You are going to want to weed these guys out quickly, so you can make a decision about whether you want to continue dealing with them.
The following indicators will help you decide just how far you want to take that intimate relationship or even that friendship. And let’s not forget that partnership, where a good bit of your own financial investments are at stake. Here are 7 non-verbal cues to weed out the bad seeds.
Eye movements and eye contact
First of all, the eyes are the portals to the soul. Have you heard that statement before? Well, when someone is not being honest, their eye movements give them away.
For instance, a liar will look up and to the right side. Experts have discovered that this movement indicates using the imagination. Liars need to use their imagination to concoct stories to fill blank spaces in the truth.
On the other hand, looking up and to the left indicators tapping into the memory in order to recall a truth. Pay close attention to this telltale sign.
As far as eye contact goes, too little or too much eye contact can both indicate lying. A good balance of looking direct and looking away is the key to witnessing a loyal and trustworthy person.
Head down and hands fidgeting at clothes
This strange indicator doesn’t always mean sleepiness or nervousness. In truth, when someone keeps their head down, it could mean that they are just not interested in what you have to say. I’m sorry to tell you this.
Also, when people fidget with their clothing or with other things, it usually means that they have become completely disengaged in the conversation, and many times, wish they could get away from the situation. They may even feel uncomfortable.
Arms crossed over the chest
This position usually indicates two things. Either the person you are dealing with is closing themselves off from you or they are angry.
If they are closing themselves off from you, then maybe they don’t feel comfortable getting to know you or they don’t trust you. If they are angry, then maybe you need to ask them why, in a nice way of course.
Sometimes this position can mean they are extremely shy, and with just a bit of coaxing they may loosen up. Just be wary and don’t put too much pressure on the situation.
This one is pretty simple and easy to understand. Basically, the stronger the handshake, the more dominant the person will be.
Now, keep in mind, some people use more pressure with handshakes when they feel their dominance is questioned. So if it feels like they are trying to crush your hand, then this can mean quite the opposite. Firm and solid is never the same as aggressive or harsh.
Open mouth and smiling
There are a few indicators present in the position of the mouth. Smiles, for instance, can be fake or real depending on where creases or wrinkles are present.
If there’s a fake smile, there will only be wrinkles on the edge of the mouth. A true smile creates creases at both the edges of the mouth and the eyes.
To gauge true interest in conversations, look for a slightly open mouth, rather than a closed lip.
Fast-paced speech usually indicates disorganization and confusion. Slow-paced speech, on the other hand, usually means that speaker has low intelligence, although this isn’t the case all the time.
Stable, medium-paced speech indicates that the speaker is sure of their information and feels comfortable conveying this. It is also the most likely to be seen as honest speech.
Hands to face, hands behind back
If one hand holds the other wrist, either in front or back, it means your insecure or afraid of something. If you touch your face with your fist, it means you are extremely interested.
When your hands are covering your mouth when you speak, you are lying. If your hand is covering your mouth when someone else speaks, then you think they are telling an untruth.
“If his lips are silent, he chatters with his fingertips; betrayal oozes out of him at every pore.”
Remember who you’re dealing with
These non-verbal cues work great most of the time, but you must keep something in mind. Despite what their actions are saying, you have to remember who they are and how their expressions are placed.
Many of these cues can be misinterpreted because they sometimes have a double meaning. I will say that most of the time, they are straightforward, but knowing your counterpart’s personality will help as well. Just use common sense and past experience to guide you, and you will be fine.
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