The Depressed Narcissist and the Neglected Link between Depression and Narcissism

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There are conditions and states of being often neglected by society. We often overlook the depressed narcissist, sometimes out of fear.

Many of us are familiar with narcissism or narcissistic personality disorder, but how much do we know about the depressed narcissist?

Well, you might be flippant about it and choose to turn the other cheek out of fear. But even though the narcissist has caused us a great deal of damage and hurt, we cannot forget the truth of how this personality disfigurement works.

What is the depressed narcissist?

Most of us know and understand the basic definition of narcissism, right? Well, unfortunately, we’ve neglected to understand the depressed narcissist, which in many ways, can be worse. In fact, things like bipolar disorder and depression can make narcissistic personality disorder even worse. Here are a few facts about the depressed narcissist to help you understand.

1. Dysphoria

There’s something about narcissists that you may not know. They are plagued with dysphoria, feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness. You might not be able to see these symptoms, but they are there. In fact, narcissists try so hard to convince others of their superiority, that sometimes their inadequacies show through. When this happens, they notice and this dysphoria leads them to depression.

It’s extremely hard for those with a narcissistic personality disorder to accept that others can see their imperfections. When it happens, they may lash out and even try harder to downgrade others. When you notice their faults, it’s sometimes best to not let on that you saw the truth. Otherwise, you will deal with a harsher grade of narcissism.

2. Loss of Narcissistic supply

The narcissist feeds off praise and attention, as you may already know. They see themselves as superior to others, although this is only a façade. When people begin to realize the true colors of the narcissistic personality, they tend to leave or limit their time with the narcissist, and it’s noticed right away.

When the narcissist loses their supply of attention and praise, they can spiral into a depression. This is because it is incredibly hard for them to feel self-worth and fulfillment on their own. This goes back to their issues with dysphoria.

3. Self-directed aggression

When a narcissist suffers a loss of supply, as mentioned above, they will sometimes become angry before falling into depression. This is because they are really angry with themselves for not being able to fulfill things on their own.

Their anger will be directed at self but will be deflected out toward anyone who goes against them. It’s actually used as a survival tactic. The narcissist literally feels as if they are dying from lack of attention or praise, and this makes them desperate as well.

4. Self-punishing

In truth, narcissists do not hate anyone more than themselves. Although it seems like all their anger and abuse is directed toward loved ones and friends, it is not. The narcissist hates that they need constant attention and praise, they hate that they are empty, and they long to feel normal like everyone else.

The problem is, their pride is alive and well, and will not let them admit how desolate they have become. This is one reason why so many narcissists resort to substance abuse and suicide. They become so depressed that they are trapped within their own emptiness.

Strangely, although it’s attention and praise they seek when depressed, they resort to isolation before daring to ask for help.

The journey from euphoria to dysphoria

A narcissist begins as an elevated individual. To others, they are most attractive, excelling in their work and relationships alike. To someone who knows nothing of narcissism, they may even seem superhuman or godlike. For a long time, unsuspecting victims of the narcissist will be wined and dined and treated like royalty.

Eventually, cracks will start to show in the otherwise perfect exterior. By the time that faults start to show, the object of the narcissist’s affections will be deeply involved. Every negativity that develops will cause severe damage to the mentality of the “victim”. Over time, most of these “victims” will escape, leaving the narcissist without a supply for their needs.

Sometimes, the narcissist leaves, and in this case, they may not suffer the consequences of being a depressed narcissist. If not, when the “victim” escapes the web of the narcissist, the loss of supply will do its damage. This is how the depressed narcissist is born, and the journey from euphoria to dysphoria is complete.

Narcissism and the depressed narcissist

With this knowledge, whether you have been the “victim” or if you are suffering from narcissism, you should educate yourself. Then, as you begin to understand the facts about these disorders, share your knowledge.

We can never know enough about these toxic disorders and how they affect our lives today. Please share and educate as much as possible, and by all means, continue learning.

References:

  1. https://bigthink.com
  2. https://www.psychologytoday.com
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About the Author:

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

4 Comments

  1. Pang Angh October 8, 2018 at 10:22 am - Reply

    Hi, Sherrie
    I am a fan of thought- provoking too. I would like to know more about narcissist from you because everything you wrote is exactly related on my experiences. I think I’m a narcissist because I love myself and everything I do is to avoid hurting myself. But I respect to those who are superior than me with a great knowledge and experiences. I don’t cross the line from other’s comfort zone, just because I’m always right. Even if I maintain my pride, I accept the defeat from other’s greater knowledge.
    My question is, Is there a types of narcissist.

    • Sherrie October 10, 2018 at 5:56 pm - Reply

      Yes Pang, there are different types of narcissists, mostly different levels of narcissism, to be exact. If you are honest with yourself, you will understand that each of us has a level of narcissism, and we just have to find a healthy level.

      The best thing you can do if you feel that you are a narcissist is to keep examining your actions. Pay close attention to criticism from others, even if you resent this criticism at first. There is always truth even in the harshest statements. Sometimes, the angrier you get, the more truth is floating around in those things said that angered you. Do you see what I mean? If you know that you are a selfish person, then try to see others are yourself, and understand that they are just like you and have feelings that are just as important. No, the process of transferring from “self-absorbed” behavior to focusing on others is not easy, but it can be done by taking it one good dead at a time. Every time you get ready to do something, question your motives to understand why you are doing these things Motives always tell the truth, you see.

  2. Pang Angh October 8, 2018 at 11:17 am - Reply

    Is narcissist related to skepticism because he is not satisfied with the outcomes of generally believe ideas basing on the knowledge and experiences of his own apart from they -group and avoiding social life because he felt the lack of like minded social interaction that are particularly of belief systems.

    • Sherrie October 10, 2018 at 5:58 pm - Reply

      Yes, some level of narcissism does exist in separating yourself from others. This is mostly due to the feelings of superiority buried beneath a victim mentality and the feeling of alienation.

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