There are more unhealthy mother-daughter relationships than you might think. In fact, it’s possible that the connection with your own daughter is flawed.

What you once thought was normal behavior may, in fact, be toxic. There are little indicators that prove you’ve witnessed unhealthy mother-daughter relationships, which are in dire need of repair. Those snarky remarks aren’t cute and no, they are not to be looked over. These things are signs of trouble, and if you can catch them in time, you may be able to save your relationship. If not, your entire life can be infected by bitterness.

Discovering the flawed connection

Unhealthy mother-daughter relationships come in various forms. There are no singular ways to describe the characteristics.

On the other hand, these relationships can be placed in categories to help you understand the types. Here are a few examples and how they affect your future.

The overly controlling mother

This form of parenting is seen quite often in mother-daughter relationships. It is also considered a normal way of parenting for mothers who have endured the same behavior from their own mothers.

Controlling mothers pay little attention to their daughter’s feelings and needs. They often project a set of needs onto their daughter and say that it’s for the sake of their daughter’s happiness.

At the same time, the mother will keep the daughter pressed down so that it’s easier to control the entirety of her life. The daughter complies because she believes she is never good enough to do things on her own.

Behavior like this can affect how the daughter performs in school or work and keeps her from reaching higher goals. It can also become the same parenting technique for when the daughter has a daughter of her own.

The critical relationship

It’s okay to be critical of some things, but it’s unhealthy to nit-pick everything your daughter says or does. Being overly critical is seen in many mother-daughter relationships. This is why we see so many mothers pressuring their daughters to be more, do more and look better.

If a young woman fails, her critical mother will recognize each failure and make it larger than it really is. Enduring a critical mother can make it hard for a daughter to love herself properly. She will never think she’s good enough.

Fighting relationships

My aunt had three daughters, and she fought terribly with all of them. However, the youngest daughter seemed to make her blood boil. My aunt would grab her by the hair and throw her across the room.

I’m surprised she was never arrested for child abuse. The point I’m making in saying this is some mother-daughter relationships are one big fight, all the time. To them, it’s normal to “raise hell”.

Unfortunately, abuse or even just constant fighting can cause so much damage to a woman. She will never be able to see her mother as a loving and caring protector. Some daughters see their mothers as the enemy, and that’s a shame.

The big joke

Sometimes mother-daughter relationships can seem like one big joke, literally. In many families, parents, both mothers, and fathers thrive on poking fun at their children.

This can be okay if it’s only occasional joking. But when a mother jokes about her daughter constantly, it can cause psychological damage. After the same jokes are told, the child starts to believe these are facts, insults that the parent want to make but put them in comedic form.

Children are smart. They hear redundant things and they read between the lines. While some mothers simply enjoy cracking jokes about their children, they don’t realize that their words have the power to make or break their daughter’s self-esteem.

Mama drama

Some relationships between mothers and daughters are dramatic productions. Simple communication is just not enough to satisfy this toxic mother. She must make every mistake seem like the end of the world.

The family drama includes screaming, throwing things, and insults, designed to instill fear into the other person.

Mothers who use such drama believe that there is no other way to get their point across without blowing everything out of proportion.

The long-term effects of this for daughters mean the possibility of experiencing PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) or passing on the same behavior to later generations.

The non-existent daughter

One of the most hurtful relationships between mother and daughter is the neglectful type. This sort of relationship leaves the daughter feeling as if she doesn’t exist.

The mother always has her own agenda and despite how hard the daughter begs for her attention, the mother cannot see the effort.

This relationship form can lead to low self-esteem and constant competitiveness. The daughter will continue to seek the attention that she did not receive from her mother and fail to provide the same attention needed by her own daughter.

No boundaries

Opposite of the neglectful relationship is the one with no boundaries. Some mothers are always snooping around and invading privacy, or as they call it, “just being concerned for their children”.

I bet you’ve heard that before. Maybe you are the mother trying to break the passcode on your daughter’s phone…tsk tsk.

Well, it’s actually healthy to have boundaries between mother and daughter, but it’s a fine line. While you want to make sure you are keeping your offspring safe, you also want to give them room to be themselves. As for adult mothers and daughters, yes, your child still needs healthy boundaries with you.

A mother-daughter relationship can be healthy

For unhealthy mother-daughter relationships, I think, before tackling these issues, you should find time to sit and just communicate. As a matter of fact, when was the last time you actually talked to your daughter?

I don’t mean when you delegated responsibilities or you reprimanded them for a bad decision. Adult mothers: I also don’t mean when you fought with her about her own parenting skills.

When I say communicate, I mean getting to know each other as individuals. This is a great way to be fair and to set ground rules for the household. Communication opens pathways to these other issues so that you can find ways to repair all the toxic symptoms.

Yes, I do believe mothers and daughters can have a healthy relationship. So let’s get started now!



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This Post Has 26 Comments

  1. Jeanine Galvan

    Gratitude as SUPER POWER! The LOVE/Hate relationship is steady these days because of understanding and ACCEPTANCE. I have found MY VOICE in defense of MY Buddha/Godly nature. I deserve to be treated with LOVE and respect. A voice I never heard from my mom or my ever suffering in silence grandmother. NO joy no hugs or kisses, no one saying or showing unconditional “LOVE” in her household.
    I feel so sorry for my 3 aunts, 2 uncles and younger cousins. Only one survived the brutality of OUR upbringing…This mother/daughter negative karma ends with me in this life-time. I’m sooo glad I had a son at 35 and only after years of therapy as NOT to treat people as I had been treated. NO you don’t put black & blue welts on a 3 yr old or anybody for that matter!
    It would have been hard NOT to behave with the same harsh demeaning and very often cruel; mentally, physically and emotionally that was part of my younger years as was with my mother in her day.
    WE teach what WE have been taught…I come to find out as a result of trauma mom is bi-polar she had and still has NO self control of her mouth the things she says when her confidence fails or when feeling unloved is her ONLY concern. Heaven help us if you want to discuss the confusion and pain.
    Efforts at communication will meet the same blaming scenario for the last 55 yrs; “I don’t want to hear it”, “I don’t want t talk about it”, “don’t tell me anything I don’t want to hear”, “are YOU crazy”, “what’s got into YOU”, and with a wave of the dismissive hand you are pushed a way, ignored or laughed at.
    Is it any wonder this woman claims to be partially deaf even though she DOES have selective hearing? I come to find out what I thought was MY masochistic nature all these years is in reality COMPASSION and UNDERSTANDING for her very unhappy life.
    Now there’s a positive spin on things. I want this woman to be happy and healthy, to be loved and to LOVE in all of its truth. I WILL NOT END UP UNHAPPY LIKE HER! I’m not her I’m me. I’m different in many ways and yet the same in all that is GOOD, kind and LOVING about my mom and others. What a journey…I joke with people if I ever get so ungrateful and mean please just take me out back and shoot me…:) Namaste’ peace

    1. Sherrie

      Thank you for reading, Jeanine.

      I applaud your strength and the ability to still show love toward your mother. I have lived on both sides of this situation, as my father had bipolar disorder and so do I. I catch myself being self-absorbed and ridiculous on many occasions, and on the other occasions, my children tell me. I have said the same things that your mother said and tried to dismiss my children’s concerns, but I am trying harder to be a better mother to them.

      As for my father, nothing seemed to be good enough and when he didn’t want to deal with us kids, he would just shut hi
      myself in his bedroom and sulk. So, I am trying to understand my ups from my downs, my wrongs from my rights and heal from the past at the same time. As I said, I am proud of you for speaking these things. You never know who you will touch in the process.

      Namaste 🙂

  2. Jenny

    Hi..I just came across ur article..n I wanted to say abt my situation.. My mom is a nice person at heart..very generous and hardworking. But v don’t talk. In fact ever since my growing up years, I used to never want to talk to her. She has always misunderstood me..even the simplest of conversations we try to have, its always an argument at the end. Now I am married n I am blessed with an amazing husband. But she had few issues during the wedding due to difference of opinion with his parents. My father has put everything behind but she hasn’t unfortunately. She still picks a fight if I try to talk to her. She feels m selfish n materialistic n I have switched sides n no more am attached to my own parents. She feels I don’t see the truth as she does n is always full of complains..I’m tired of this. I’m tired of her negativity

    1. Sherrie

      I know this must be incredibly frustrating, but I implore you to give her another chance. You see, my mother is gone. She died when I was 22 and there are so many times that I cry for her even now at the age of 43. My mother frustrated me too, in different ways, but I didn’t want to talk to her that much either. Even if she says things that drive you crazy, please try to tolerate her and show her that you love her. She is just so afraid of losing you and wishes she had a good connection with you. Keep trying and every time you get a chance just tell her how you feel. Don’t push it, just say it and then let it sink in with her. She may not be seeing the truth of her actions because she is so afraid of losing her child to others.

  3. Tina

    My mum caused me a lot of insecurities but now she’s being nice? Some days she just blows up though. I don’t feel that resentment anymore but I don’t think I have as much trust in her as before. If I had more problems she wouldn’t be the first person I’d go to

    1. Sherrie

      It’s truly sad that your mum isn’t that person you can go to, and I know this happens. All you can do is work on your relationship in hopes that it does grow stronger with time. Both my parent died in my early adulthood and now, I feel like I would have known them better and had a better connection. However, I don’t get this chance and never will. Remember that. Your parents will not always be around, so trying should be a priority.

  4. Mel

    Good evening. Im from India, Mumbai.. I can relate to so much from what you’ve mentioned. My goodness.. im so damaged with the kind of relationship i have with my mum. Its been so bad that i can barely stand her. I have committed mistakes n i totally accept them but situations have been so bad iv begun to really dislike her. Her dominating and manipulative nature, always playing the emotional card drives me to a point of leaving the house. I once told her that id never bcm a mother like u.. wish it was simple communicating with her however she is such she doesnt give a damn and will not perceive things from another point of view. Im sorry but i dont like her anymore. I just get too angry on her these days.

    1. Tina

      Mel, I am exactly in the same boat as you. It is so hard, trying to live the christian life, feeling the way I do about my mom. She lives with me, she has lung cancer and she still smokes, it makes me so angry. I go from anger to frustration daily. I then go through guilt, because if she dies, I know I will miss her, but she is so manipulative it hurts. I just don’t know how much I can take.

    2. Zo

      I understand too Mel. The mother can make us feel so bad about our own self and we spend our life feeling guilty. We really shouldn’t feel this guilt at all. It is in the mind but takes such a long time to retrain the mind to know that these thoughts and feelings are because of what happened. but it can be done. i am still going through this but i will keep going i know it is possible to get through to the other side,which is your own life opening up and waiting for you.

  5. pumie

    i am really disapointed with my mother i have been supporting her with my whole salary,,i put her 1st i renovate her house taking care of her children,,but know she just messed up my life

  6. Citlali

    I’m 23 still living with my parents and I have a daughter but I go half with all the bills and ask for nothing I’m also in school. Well my mom has always told me she never wanted a daughter I have always been screamed at by her even at this age she will curse at me like I’m trash even tho she have birth to me I’m to the point where she treats me like I’m shit pretty much I try it hold strong because of my daughter but it’s very hard and if I move out it will be even harder living alone and with my baby I need help I really can’t live like this anymore I know she’s my mother but I refuse to be disrespected by her in front of my daughter and I defiantly can’t allow my daughter to grow up and see how bad she talks to me. Any advice please

    1. Michelle

      I too have a mother who recently thought it appropriate to insult me infront of my daughter. I told my daughter later that I promise to never talk to her that way and that with my mom Bi Polar condition she doesn’t have the same control and most normal people do. But it’s been 4 days since I spoke to her. I honestly right now don’t want to until she stops posting crap on FB about me. My mom is at least 2 of these things but a little of all of them.

    2. jeanine Galvan

      know that how she treats you is how she FEELS about herself it has nothing to do with you…I would often wonder why mom hated me so much…it wasn’t me she hated it was herself. I reflected everything she could have, should have or didn’t do, know or say…Just walk a way or hang up….I embrace you with all the unconditional love you’ll need for yourself to move on as YOUR OWN Loving compassionate creative PERSON. 🙂 peace

  7. shreya

    I just realized my mother is all of these.

  8. a bitch w questions

    May your children see you as you describe others that you so easily deride. Not been a mother long, have you??

  9. Adam Paul

    It was a very valuable piece of advice. Very well written. Your observation is right on the mark. So thanks for sharing it with us.

  10. Zo

    What a nasty reply to write to a person who is distressed ‘a bitch w questions’. Hope you are never needing help or advice in life. What a shame .

  11. Susan

    Why do you mention only the bad behaviors that some mothers engage in? What about ways that the daughters behave and treat their mothers? Do you think that all mother-daughter difficulties are solely the responsibility of bad parenting by the mother? I thought this kind of mom-blaming went out with the eighties, but apparently it’s still alive and thriving. I find your article very unfair to mothers who are flawed, like every human being, and are trying to be good moms. We will never be perfect and we are targeted for every ill that befalls our children as if they are perfect angels downtrodden by their selfish or sick mothers. Shame on you for perpetuating this out-moded idea. All humans inflict hurt on each other, and all humans are responsible for doing their best to be a good person and “do unto others as we would have others do unto us.”

    1. Badlands Babe

      You OBVIOUSLY come from a family where your mother never made you feel like It was you’re fault for being born. You were never left completely alone starting at age 5. & I’m sure you you were never told at 16 that you needed to drop out of high school to get a fulltime job because school wasn’t important & both the social security survivors benefits checks your mom got monthly (for myself & her from my fathers passing when I was three) weren’t enough. She didn’t want to have to work. She was a high school drop out with no skills & wanted me to be the same way. I refused to drop out & found myself a job after school at Mc Donalds it worked beautifully. I got home from school at 3:30pm changed into my uniform & had a co-worker pick me up & I worked 4pm to close every night that got me home around midnight only to be called a fucking little bitch for the door hinge squeaking as I quietly keyed in & I’d go straight to my room. I’m sure you don’t know the horrors of living with a bipolar mother who would & did go off without any warning & grab whatever she could get her hands on & start beating you with it whatever it may be & it didn’t matter, where ever it strikes while belittling & devaluing, calling you nothing but vile, ugly names & she just keeps on, she has you in tears she still won’t stop & you’re told that if you hadn’t made her angry or frustrated this would have never happened even know you didn’t say or do anything being seen was what brought it on. It was your fault. I’m sure you never heard your little brother crying in his room with the door closed & knowing your mother is in their beating him & I’m certain you never had to get up the courage to play pass interference & open his bedroom door hoping that she’d start beating you & to give my brother a chance to run out of there & outside to escape this wicked monster & when I did just that I opened his door only to find her standing over him with a 9 iron (golf club) he was laying on the floor in a fetal position & she was going to strike him again as she’d been doing & she could have easily killed him. But as I said Susan, you most likely never had to deal or experience anything that horrifying like that, am I right? or how about when you were in high school & a friend picked you up every morning but, because that one particular morning your alarm didn’t go off & it was still okay because I had 30 min until my ride got there, my mother didn’t have any reason to be up but, was anyway for one reason & it wasn’t to help me nope rather than ask if she can help me in anyway she instead flies into a rage at 7 am & grabs my hairbrush and starts beating & striking me as hard s she can any and every where. I would often go to school with a head full of welts & had many welts other places & I’d hold back my tears not wanting to embarrass myself crying… Did your mom start your mornings that way Susan??? No, I didn’t think so.. When you were getting off your bus at 3:30 in the afternoon was your mother just then waking up after sleeping off all the shots of crown royal & all the illegal substances she partook in the night before? And God help you if you ever had to call her away from or interrupt her party time. Her kids were never her priority but.partying with her friends was. Sound anything like your mom Susan? I remember being uprooted from my grandmothers home at age five the only security I had ever known only to be told we / my mother & I would be boarding a huge airplane & going for a ride not realizing of course I’d never see my grandmother again & my mother was moving us 2000 miles away because she was chasing a man who could have given two shots less about her & from that point on I’d be taking on the responsibility for myself & automatically be an adult… That was the feeling I had the minute we landed on the tarmac ANF I was right. A year later my mother decided she would hitch hike with a few friends back home & I was left to be cared for by the man who would eventually become my step dad. Every thing went to hell right away. I was in first grade & after getting off the bus one afternoon & walking along side the 2 neighbor girls I went to school with heading towards our houses their mother was outside & she would call to me & ask me to go over to their house & play & have dinner. I didn’t see it being a problem my step dad’s truck wasn’t there & I was left by myself like always… & that day while I was at school the DEA raided my house & my step father had escaped them by minutes & my neighbor, the mother of the girls saw it all. & That’s why she called me over & invited me in. Of course my step dad never bothered to come back never even checked on me. He was worried, not about me but anout being taken to jail. I couldn’t get ahold of my mother as she didn’t bother leaving any phone #s see a responsible parent does that. So this family embraced me & treated me like their other two girls & I grew to love them, the stability & structure of this REAL family & I would live with them for a month… Then one night the dreaded knock came on their door. My mother returned & she was looking for me. She had to keep getting those survivor benefit checks you know & once again, it was like having the wind taken right out of my sale. I got to be a kid for that month. I didn’t want to go back to adulting… Are you still with me Susan? That same year my mother would walk to the river rtaking me with her & she was bare footed… Well what I didn’t know of course is she decided to take some acid prior to our little walk & then after it took effect she couldn’t remember the way back home. I did. Did your mother ever put you in that position Susan at age 5 & if she did do you think you could have found your way home while your mom was under the influence of an illegal psychedelic… Nope, didn’t think so… Now here’s a little news flash for YOU & anyone else like YOU who is STUPID enough to ask…
      ‘Do you think that all mother-daughter difficulties are solely the responsibility of bad parenting by the mother? What do you think Susan? Given my situation? & as far as ‘I thought this kind of mom-blaming went out with the eighties, but apparently it’s still alive and thriving.’ Well Susan in speaking for myself who else’s fault was it? Should we blame the 5 year old girl who had enough common sense or should we blame her mother who had none? And the story never got any better, only worse so before you start shaming anybody for perpetually doing ANYTHING & preaching about how all humans do their best to be a good person. I say BULLSHIT yadda, yadda. YOU ought to remember you aren’t God… You don’t get to judge. That’s his job. Each of us has our reasons & if parents realized having children is a privilege & treated the job of parenting as such perhaps many could avoid the upbringing I experienced & maybe those of us who were never shown love or taught self love, self worth, & self esteem until we were able to understand what was missing & were evolved enough to teach ourselves wouldn’t feel the way we do about our mothers. And sadly after enduring & somehow surviving such such a. Abusive, fucked up, & highly dysfunctional childhood only to still have a mother who continues till this day to go around undiagnosed & unmediated & tell me such pleasant things like… Do you know what loving someone from afar means? That’s the kind of relationship I prefer to have with you. So I have honored her request & of course she will tell everyone what a horrible daughter I am who never speaks to her or comes to see her… And what I say to that at 53 years of age is FUCK HER. She’s an ungrateful selfishcentered bitch who treats her kids like dog shit.So there’s your do unto other’s. I sugar coat nothing because he truth shall set you free. I moved out at 17 after I graduated high school & I’ve never asked her for anything & I never would. She gave birth to me & that in itself is hard for me to believe because we are nothing alike nor will we ever be. ANYONE who can abuse their children & take great pleasure in the misfortunes of their children doesn’t deserve their children. My mother died for me 11 years ago when I went no contact. That was what was best for me. I know I have a life you have absolutely nothing in common with Susan… So it’s usually wise not to cast stones when you don’t have any idea what your talking about. Remember just because you have kids doesn’t automatically make you a parent. Some people & my mother is one of those people should have NEVER had children.
      Pretty words aren’t always true & true words aren’t always pretty. Always think before you speak & judge no one because you REALLY don’t know…

      1. nina

        Im new to this website, and did not read the entire article, but as far as I see it, it will never be” outmoded” to hold parents accountable for damage they incurred on child/adult child. To me any mother who turns the discussion around from mothers hurting their children/adults to adult children hurting their mothers, are sorely remiss in getting the message, and having the love and insight needed to hear what is said to them, by those who know their mothers best: their children/adult.

        a lot has been written, and i dont claim to understand the full picture, but i feel the hurt, anger, pain and turmoil of memory after memory of betrayal by a mother who is supposed to love and protect young child/ren, and support and cheer on the emerging adult child.
        I dont know where youre at now, or what, if any, spiritual beliefs you treasure. But I relate to the pain and suffering, the anger and loss.
        I went no contact with my mother many years ago, but unlike yourself, i am finding that my narcissistic mother is in so much of what I unconsciously feel, think and do with my own, now adult daughter. I can not tell you, how I fight with myself, struggling to come to a place where I trust my emotions and actions as my own, and healthy loving hopefully humble attitudes and behaviours. Yes all mothers make mistakes, and there is hurt in most families, I think, but wanting to learn from those mistakes, admitting wrong doing, respecting how adult child wants to be treated, is a big step in the right direction. i feel for you and the pain evident in your article. May I add…….. as we get older it is possible to see behind our mothers actions, even to come to appreciate what , I speak for myself, my mother could give me. As I get older I realise more how little I know about my mothers relationships with her own parents. And wonder a little more how she felt in general about life, her parents and herself.
        My mother is in her eighties now, she has disinherited me and her only grandchild, and the pain and sense of loss is not over yet. If love is the most important attitude/action in this life, I would like to think that love within my heart will help heal the enormous hurt and loss, and extend to her and humanity, because I too have failed as a mother, and caused my daughter hurt and suffering, which she is dealing with in her own life now. I wish you well, I wish you all that you need to recover. May, if you believe in Him, God soothe your life and heart. Peace and love be with you and your family.

  12. Meg

    I’m the “all of the above” mom… And no wonder I hate myself and my life so much to the point that all the self-help courses and meditation and affirmations and parenting books and courses don’t seem to work and I’m falling deep… Like one step forward and 10 stories fall..

  13. Angie

    I have a beautiful intelligent daughter who is quick to tell everyone she knows how toxic I am and, how horrable a Mother, and Grandmother I am. Now to make a long story short I was the parent that said no. Amandas father and I divorced when Amanda was 8 and her sister was 6. I had full custody of the girls, worked full time and I went to a local college part time, as well as I waved all child support because the girls father helped out if I had to work late, or had a class after work. This was all great until Amanda was 14, she and her father decided she was old enough to make decisions like dating a 21 year old guy. And that since her father and his father were great friends, and the young man was a perfect gentleman, and Amanda was so advanced for her age her dating him was fine. (According to her father). I said no, dhes barely 14, and no shes physically mature for her age and shes the most intelligent girl of 14 Ive ever known, but no shes not dating a 21 year old man. Thats when our relationship went south. I was from then on out the bad guy and dad was her best friend. At almost age 15 she hated me and wanted to move in with her father, so she moved in with her father against my wishes but the court said she was old enough to make the choice. Fast forward to age 15 She left the state with a 45 year old friend of her fathers and we had to get the state police involved to find her, and yes I pressed charges. She then came back to live with me and finished school. I helped her get into college, and she went for 1 year, met a guy quit college and they had a beautiful daughter.. within 6 months of my granddaughters birth he left them. I helped her get an appartment paid for her rent, utilities, food, everything for 4 months giving her time to get a job, and be able to stand on her own feet. We got along perfectly. Well until I bought a home, and once my finances were tied up she went back to hating me. Because I yold her she had to get stable. Its a cycle, when she gets into financial trouble she will call me, or have my granddaughter call me up and ask for money. Always for bills shes gotten behind on. Ill pay a bill for her, then she will start talking to me sowly again, then before you know it shes talking to me daily, bringjng the kids to visit. Inviting me to her home, then for no reason she will message me and tell me how much she hates me, how bad I treated her, or treat the grandchildren. Then block me. This last year I ask her if They all wanted to go to beach brnd oark for a day on me, for the kids to all have a day out before school started bsck. She was all excited, the kids were happy and making plans. She went home and next thing I know Im getting a text message as to how horrible I am, and I never have loved her, nor her children. That she just needs a break from me. Im sitting there wondering what I did, what I said, because I try sooo hard to handle her with kids gloves so as to mot upset her. She also does her sister the same way. I dont understand.. Amanda was a happy carefree child, played, had nice things, I dont think she ever was a mean child, nor did she get it trouble. But at age 14 she completly changed over night. And I really think its because I went against her dad about dating the 21 year old. I am well passed being hurt anymore over the things she says or tells other people. Im just confused, and worry about the grandchildren. She says Im toxic.. I had to look it up..

  14. Dot

    Since my grand daughter was born 8 years ago, my daughter-in-law, (Christine) has an obsession with the child, Leane. This causes marriage problems between her and my son. Chridtine does the following:
    1. Keeos Leane away from all family except from her mother and sister.
    2. Keeps Leane away from her father (my son).
    3. Christine’s father is not allowed to have a close relationship with Leane.
    4. I may not kiss or hug Leane
    5. She sleeps with Leane and picks her up (I hink to block communication when Im around)
    6. Leane’s father may not pick her up from school, is not informed of school activities and may not drive alone with her in his car.( example to go to the store)
    7. At a time when I visited there, Leane walked cirles around me (5 years old then)
    8. She may not participate in sport.
    9. She still drinks out of a sippy cup and eat food out of a baby’s plate.
    10. Christine changed work when Leane had to start school and arranged a job in the same school.
    11. The 1st week when Leane started school, Christine sat next to her in the class
    12. Leane does not greet my son when he gets home after work. She would go behind him and slap him against the head. When he tries to disciplibe Leane, it ends up in a .verbal fight. When my son is alone with Leane she speaks to him but when Christine comes around, Leane changes and chase my son out of the room.
    12. My son works 2 jobs to provide a good life.
    13. He has to buy Leane for her attention by giving her expendive things or money.
    I can go on and on….i have no relationship with my grand child because of the obsession of Christine. She does not allow me to be a granny. Everything I gave Leane has been thrown away.
    Its been a worry as Leane may encounter psycholigical problems when she becomes older. Christene has a very unhealthy relatiinship with Leane who is the only child. Could it be that Christene was molested by her father as a child? Her mother died 3 months ago and her sister moved to another town.

    The all lived in th

  15. Phergy

    A affected with all mentions above I really hate her behaviour my mother torture me psychological.

  16. Trisha

    There are so many reasons daughters and mothers clash. Some are attributed to genuine mental illness of one sort or another. Some are very poor communication skills. Some are stress and the inability to handle it. Some are Pre Menstrual Syndrom. And some are just controling or bitchy personalities. I’m offended by such blogs as this because it focuses the blame on Mom. One can peruse the internet and find similar rants and raves when searching for “daughters who blame their mother” or something along that thought line. Of course the author and participants offer an entirely opposite perspective than the ones proferred here. I’ve frequently observed how recollections are often clouded or jaded or downright twisted beyond any semblance of what the other party believes transpired. Personally I think the world needs more tolerance and understanding. Speak respectfully to one another and try to see the other’s perspective. Keep your cool. Shouting and finger pointing don’t get positive results. Be wary, for hate destroys from the inside out. Forgive one another, forgive yourself while you are at it. Put things into perspective by contemplating mother/daughrter relationship within the context of your spirituality. Practice being kind and empathetic. I use this mantra to help me. ” Live in Light, Grow in Wisdom, Express with Love”

  17. gretta

    i think this is unfair to say as in the media today issues with girls and their fathers are accepted and listened too however this cannot be the same for girls and their mothers. articles like these help girls with toxic mothers feel understood and feel a little less confused as to why they get treated this way as their mothers’ behaviours are subconsciously worn into them.

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