Negative self-talk doesn’t accomplish a thing. Your goal is to cultivate more positive words and statements to improve your life.
Negative self-talk is something I deal with every day of my life. Considering the fact that I have an anxiety disorder, it’s a difficult task to turn my thoughts around for good.
It’s become normal for me to create scenarios and assume the worst of most situations. It causes problems with family and in my relationships. I hate the hold that negative self-talk has on me. So, I take this journey with you.
Techniques to help us kill negative self-talk
As I said, I struggle with negative self-talk. So, the tips and techniques I share with you, I am trying as we speak. I have found some positive results in these techniques, and these are the techniques that I will share. In a way, I think the fact that I can relate will help you see how well the techniques worked for me. So, here are the success stories from my struggles.
1. Love yourself
I think one of the best weapons I ever had against negative self-talk was the love for myself. I do love me. I am not being conceited or self-absorbed. I am simply recognizing that I am just as good as anyone else.
Many times our negative self-talk comes from insecurities, as much as we don’t want to admit this, and these insecurities grow and grow the longer we think about our flaws. So, here’s the deal:
Let’s see our flaws as characteristics that separate us from the crowd. Our flaws aren’t really flaws at all, they are beautiful and unique parts of our appearance. The things we hate about ourselves can become the thing that sets us apart.
Imagine someone seeing you for the first time and being captivated by your prominent nose or your deep-set eyes. Maybe they love your fragile chin or thick thighs. You might be surprised by how beautiful those things, which you assume to be flawed, really are.
2. Be realistic
Even though there are many people telling you to think positive, sometimes forcing positivity can make it worse. Try this instead: Take your negative thoughts and try to think of them in a more realistic manner instead of all bad. For example, maybe you’ve been beating yourself up about not having as much money as your friends.
Instead of complaining about the job you have and instead of forcing positivity and spending more money than you should, try to be objective. Think thoughts like, “I don’t have as much money as my friends, but I have other abilities and options.”
Realize what you don’t have, but take pride in what you do. Never hate your circumstances, never stretch yourself too thin to be like others, but instead, do what you can.
3. Recognizing the problem
Let us not forget the most important aspect of destroying negative self-talk – seeing the truth about yourself. You will never learn a thing and you will never improve as long as you deny what you’re doing.
Just like negative actions that you ignore, negative self-talk, unchecked, can be just as damaging. So, take time and discover the magnitude of your negative thoughts. Yes, these thoughts may be huge, but as long as you face the truth, you can get better.
Here’s a thought, yes a positive one! Try keeping a record of the things you think and say. Pay attention to the number of negative thoughts that pass through your mind. You will recognize negative self-talk when you start to become defeated. As you write down these thoughts, formulate a plan to practice altering them.
Remember, it’s great to be positive as much as you can, but take care to be objective as well. Keep it real.
Yes, meditation has worked for me. Although I sometimes find it difficult to find a place of solitude, when I do, it seems quite effective. I remember the most successful meditation session about three years ago. I remember being in such turmoil and I could hardly eat. In desperation, I turned to meditation. (By the way, don’t wait until you’re desperate. Meditation is always good.)
What meditation does is clear your mind. It clears out the clutter as if your thoughts are going through spring cleaning. As this cleaning occurs, you begin to experience an almost supernatural peace. When reaching this place, the things that were tormenting you seem small and sometimes insignificant.
Meditation allows you to focus on things that truly matter and clean the slate of your thoughts. From here, you can formulate better thoughts.
5. Ask yourself questions
This technique also works, but be careful not to let the questions lead you in the wrong direction. Asking yourself questions can help you put things into perspective.
For instance, you can analyze thoughts to find validity in what worries you. If you are feeling down about your appearance or about something you said, you can ask yourself if these things really matter in your personal world. If not, then you should let them go.
If something seems wrong, but you have no proof, then ask yourself if there are other reasons for the things that are happening to you. If you are being positive, how would you see a worrisome situation? You can also try to find the good in any bad situation as well. Feel free to ask yourself questions but try to avoid digging deeper into the negative aspects of an assumed problem.
Are you ready to grow?
Remember when you were a child and you experienced “growing pains”? This is a testament to how growth can sometimes be painful. Yes, it is, but I am here with you. I crawl through the sludge of my bleak thoughts with the rest of you who struggle. Most of the time, when I write, I am working through the same issues and finding solace that I am not alone. I understand the hold that negative self-talk has on a person, but I also understand that this is not what the universe wants for us.
Yes, growth is sometimes painful. And yet, it’s so worth it.
I have used these techniques above and I know they help. Do I still have bad days? Yes, I do. But, do I give up? I haven’t given up yet! So, let’s keep trying. There are so many people out there who need us to guide them toward the light as well. Maybe this is exactly what we were made for. Our purpose is to grow and our purpose is to learn.
…then we share the wisdom that time has given us.
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.