I want to live a quiet life. In fact, I’ve learned to love my own company, and mediocrity doesn’t bother me at all.

All around me is noise, people are everywhere and talking so loud. They’re making plans, discussing goals and all the while, I’m in the corner trying to disappear into a book. I feel uncomfortable in hustle and bustle honestly and I crave a quiet life. Is it wrong to wish they would all just go away?

What’s wrong with me?

Is there something wrong with me because I don’t like the chaos of large crowds? I feel best when there are few people, sometimes no one, and it’s quiet.

I adore the quiet life, filled with nothing and no one and everything is mine to do as I wish. I guess that’s a little drastic, but what I mean is, I don’t mind being alone. In fact, it’s the best time to read or write.

I love moving to my own rhythm and paying attention to the details that I deem to be important. It’s a simple life, only complicated by a few aspects that I pick for myself. My quiet life is warm and inviting, maybe not to others, but it stimulates me.

This is what happened when I forced extroversion.

I used to panic about the future. I would desperately try to save money, only to use the money for things like emergencies or important events. I used to have a goal in mind, a degree that I fought for and a legacy to leave behind. I tried to make as many friends as possible, go to parties and on dates. I also tried to keep up with the latest gossip, but that only made me sick to my stomach.

But now, I’ve let them slide, I don’t even use the degree that I earned – this is unfortunate. I know it’s a good idea to save money and I know I should use my degree, this is true. But you know what, I spent the money and I don’t use the degree, and I refuse to beat myself up for that. I am content with my mediocre life. I also don’t mind having a much smaller number of friends either. I don’t miss gossip and I don’t miss get-togethers, for the most part.

I accept who I am

I don’t need to be a fitness fanatic. I don’t need to wear a size 2. No, I believe I’m not concerned about this at all. I used to be. In my twenties, I kept a strict regimen of physical activities. I worked out every morning and even in the afternoons. I took supplements and competed with others at getting the least amount of body fat.

I don’t want to spend all my time pursuing amazing abs and a perfect butt. I don’t want to focus on my body and how others perceive the way I look. Honestly, I want to look how I please. I want to be happy with who I am, as I am if that’s what I want.

I also don’t want to be the neatest person alive, spending hours cleaning my house. I just want to be comfortable and enjoy life. Do you know what I mean?

I don’t want to care what others think!

And I don’t want to try too hard in order to meet lofty expectations. I don’t care if I’m in church every Sunday or meditate every day. Okay, enough of that!

This is who I am and what I want: I want coffee, then a walk. Sometimes I don’t want to take that walk, instead, I want to watch television for an hour. I want to do my job and not worry about whether or not I have on makeup or wearing a nice hairstyle.

When I work, I want to do what makes me happy, not utilize some degree I earned just to do what makes me miserable. I won’t share the degree title, but I will tell you that it wasn’t journalism or creative writing.

I want to wear pajamas and cuddle with my dog while writing this blog post. See, I just did that, and I am happy!

This is what I’m doing.

So, I’m making decisions in a different way. I am deciding for a quiet life. I want broken diets, spontaneous conversations and a relationship that promotes comfort and not control. I want soft breezes through windows right before the storm. I want cookie dough, music in the shower, puppies, kittens, naps and warm sunshine on my skin. I want artistic expression and not something that I have no interest in.

Simulation is also not that necessary

Since I desire a quiet life, I have no need for large crowds with boisterous laughter and animation. I don’t care for parties or concerts, neither do I choose crowded stores where I feel like I’m in traffic jams behind grocery carts in the aisles…whew.

And many people find this introverted preference abnormal. I think it’s just as normal as surrounding yourself with people. Yep, you guessed it! I would be leaning toward introversion with a bit of eccentricity.

I want a quiet life – a life filled with true happiness despite how others see me. I shouldn’t feel guilty for wanting what’s best for me. I shouldn’t feel guilty for missing boy scout meetings or eating the last cupcake. I shouldn’t feel bad for forgetting things and making mistakes.

I don’t feel guilty for wanting to live a quiet life, and nor should you.

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This Post Has 15 Comments

  1. Kaiser Basileus

    Sadly there are a lot of things that you just can’t do without being a people person – without having enough social energy to soldier through.

  2. David Winsland

    I’ll go along with that. I’m happy with who and what I am and feel no need to improve. It took me a long time to get there primarily because I believed that “those in control” knew what they were doing and acted for my benefit. My transformation became a lot e4asier once that myth was dispelled.

  3. Don

    This is one of the neatest articles I’ve read on this site. It expresses the beauty of simplicity, of not having to compete, the pleasure of inner silence and enjoying oneself without demands, regret, or opinions of others. So many could learn from what you have written here.

    And don’t ever pause to grab the last cupcake.

  4. Juan

    Thank you … how did we get trapped into the frenzy. It’s wonderful to find somebody that just share one’s simply view

  5. Yoshikage Kira

    I too want a quiet life.

  6. Alistair Loaker

    Yes! That’s beautiful right there. I too want a quiet life far away from the madding crowd. It’s the little things I love the most, the priceless things that can’t always necessarily be bought. A good storm, watching a DVD in bed with my dog asleep beside me, early morning fog, the fading autumn sun through the trees, the first snowflakes, the smell of bonfires etc…none of these involve the tedium of people!

    1. Caryn

      I came across this post and I don’t usually read the entire article, but I did on this one. It’s refreshing! I’m exhausted of worrying so much and to put myself through guilt, of not being a certain way. I love being home, with my 2 cats, and seeing my grandkids every other weekend. I don’t want to go shopping and “deal” with others. I’m finally happy, and I’m 49 and single! Thank you for writing this!

  7. Dona

    Might sound silly, but I turned off the a/c today (window unit). Its droned on all summer. Today is heavily overcast and raining and I can HEAR the raindrops outside. I LOVE it. Making hot chocolate this evening and planning for quiet. As a married mother of six (ages 19-37 this year), Im now semi-retired. People tell me ALL THE TIME how I should use my degree (BS in nursing) to build a better life for myself now that I have fewer responsibility at home. They fail to recognize several things however……
    #1) Even though I didnt work outside the home all these years, I HAVE used my training. Its been called on daily w/ managing the affairs of our home. I didnt need to be paid in cash for it to be any more valuable. That training made me a better wife/mother/friend/neighbor/etc. No loss at all.
    #2) I still serve MANY purposes by being at home and 100% available. My job description/purpose in this life has not changed. Trouble for most folks is that they didnt have a right perspective of their own purpose to begin with. What I have to offer now, with less hustle & bustle in my life, helps others to continue growing daily. Same purpose, just differing applications.
    #3) I worked hard to come to this place of a quieter life. Its no different than what husband will enjoy when he retires from his own 40yrs of employment. Now (57yrs old), I am preparing for him to be here more….to help him transition into a healthy perspective of life without the pressures of only a paycheck. Thats very difficult for most men…paychecks even being a measure of their own worth often times. Im simply getting us ready for the next phase of life. I cant let others (even husband) sabotage that and neither should anyone else.

    1. Rebecca Dozet

      Thank you! I am not the only one with this perspective.

  8. Helen

    I love this and I love the comments too. I am at a crossroads in my life. I returned to college after over 20 years working because I wanted a “reboot” on my life. But unfortunately, I find I am not up for the demands of the sciences which is part of the field I chose. So now I have to decide whether to take my academic life in another direction, pursue another degree, or just say, never mind, I’ve changed my mind and I really just want a quiet life. It’s all complicated by anxiety, which is making it difficult for me to drive. Anyway, it’s good to see there are others with this viewpoint.

  9. Toni

    I’m with you, Sister. There’s so much that happens in the quietude. ‘Still waters run deep.’ There’s an entire universe on the inside that begs to be explored. The noise and tumult and striving that extroverts need to feel fully alive…we don’t find ‘it’ there. That wears us out. And we might be in the minority, but we bring much to the table. We’re poets and writers and painters and garden makers. We might have muffin tops or soil ground into the soles of our feet…and we can be still and listen deeply. We can walk outside at sunrise and breathe it in through every pore, knowing in our bones that there are finite opportunities for such things. We don’t need to ‘achieve’ in the ordinary sense because it’s enough to be present with the miracle, to cry a little when the wind is thick with the scent of sage that’s been baking in the sun. We’re told that we must do more…but we do enough. We work. We care. We feel. We love. We share. We’re averse to assertive perfumes and loud restaurants and too many gesticulating people talking about things that makes us yawn. We want the pocket, the groove, that sacred space in which we’re so happy for a warm bowl of soup, the morphing flames in the fireplace, the plants in the window, and the space to meander through our own ponderings and imagination. That PEACE is like an internal field of wildflowers…the place where the treasure is buried. It’s beautiful. It’s Plenty.

    1. bee

      Perfectly said.

  10. Rebecca Dozet

    I see I read your piece a few years back. I needed it again. Thank you so much. Thank you all for your insightful comments.

  11. Katelyn

    Did I just read what is in my own brain? I thought only I felt this way! I have been trying to convince myself for years I’m an extrovert because people genuinely love talking to me. I was a talker when I drank but I am 4 years sober now. I competed in Bodybuilding to get sober and got a lot of attention from it, but that put so much pressure on me and my anxiety sky-rocketed. Now, I just want to be home with my cats, workout when I want, cook when I want, and just detach from all people who don’t matter. I have a loving boyfriend of 7 years, a great job, and my health. I hate going on Instagram now because it all feels like a show/competition. I’m not here for that anymore, but i’m here for THIS <3

  12. Jass

    I’ve always wanted quiet since I was little. Not interested in having children or a spouse. I like my own company and find I get easily overwhelmed when people are around me. Humanity is so damn loud, especially about choices they see as abnormal. You’re constantly brainwashed from a young age to want kids, husband/wife, an all consuming career, loads of cash, huge house, expensive car, every gadget available, drink, smoke, have sex, parties and shopping etc.. people need to understand that not everyone wants what they want and they have no right to shame you into thinking you are wrong or weird.

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