I want to live a quiet life. In fact, I’ve learned to love my own company, and mediocrity doesn’t bother me at all.

All around me is noise, people are everywhere and talking so loud. They’re making plans, discussing goals and all the while, I’m in the corner trying to disappear into a book. I feel uncomfortable in hustle and bustle honestly and I crave a quiet life. Is it wrong to wish they would all just go away?

What’s wrong with me?

Is there something wrong with me because I don’t like the chaos of large crowds? I feel best when there are few people, sometimes no one, and it’s quiet.

I adore the quiet life, filled with nothing and no one and everything is mine to do as I wish. I guess that’s a little drastic, but what I mean is, I don’t mind being alone. In fact, it’s the best time to read or write.

I love moving to my own rhythm and paying attention to the details that I deem to be important. It’s a simple life, only complicated by a few aspects that I pick for myself. My quiet life is warm and inviting, maybe not to others, but it stimulates me.

This is what happened when I forced extroversion.

I used to panic about the future. I would desperately try to save money, only to use the money for things like emergencies or important events. I used to have a goal in mind, a degree that I fought for and a legacy to leave behind. I tried to make as many friends as possible, go to parties and on dates. I also tried to keep up with the latest gossip, but that only made me sick to my stomach.

But now, I’ve let them slide, I don’t even use the degree that I earned – this is unfortunate. I know it’s a good idea to save money and I know I should use my degree, this is true. But you know what, I spent the money and I don’t use the degree, and I refuse to beat myself up for that. I am content with my mediocre life. I also don’t mind having a much smaller number of friends either. I don’t miss gossip and I don’t miss get-togethers, for the most part.

I accept who I am

I don’t need to be a fitness fanatic. I don’t need to wear a size 2. No, I believe I’m not concerned about this at all. I used to be. In my twenties, I kept a strict regimen of physical activities. I worked out every morning and even in the afternoons. I took supplements and competed with others at getting the least amount of body fat.

I don’t want to spend all my time pursuing amazing abs and a perfect butt. I don’t want to focus on my body and how others perceive the way I look. Honestly, I want to look how I please. I want to be happy with who I am, as I am if that’s what I want.

I also don’t want to be the neatest person alive, spending hours cleaning my house. I just want to be comfortable and enjoy life. Do you know what I mean?

I don’t want to care what others think!

And I don’t want to try too hard in order to meet lofty expectations. I don’t care if I’m in church every Sunday or meditate every day. Okay, enough of that!

This is who I am and what I want: I want coffee, then a walk. Sometimes I don’t want to take that walk, instead, I want to watch television for an hour. I want to do my job and not worry about whether or not I have on makeup or wearing a nice hairstyle.

When I work, I want to do what makes me happy, not utilize some degree I earned just to do what makes me miserable. I won’t share the degree title, but I will tell you that it wasn’t journalism or creative writing.

I want to wear pajamas and cuddle with my dog while writing this blog post. See, I just did that, and I am happy!

This is what I’m doing.

So, I’m making decisions in a different way. I am deciding for a quiet life. I want broken diets, spontaneous conversations and a relationship that promotes comfort and not control. I want soft breezes through windows right before the storm. I want cookie dough, music in the shower, puppies, kittens, naps and warm sunshine on my skin. I want artistic expression and not something that I have no interest in.

Simulation is also not that necessary

Since I desire a quiet life, I have no need for large crowds with boisterous laughter and animation. I don’t care for parties or concerts, neither do I choose crowded stores where I feel like I’m in traffic jams behind grocery carts in the aisles…whew.

And many people find this introverted preference abnormal. I think it’s just as normal as surrounding yourself with people. Yep, you guessed it! I would be leaning toward introversion with a bit of eccentricity.

I want a quiet life – a life filled with true happiness despite how others see me. I shouldn’t feel guilty for wanting what’s best for me. I shouldn’t feel guilty for missing boy scout meetings or eating the last cupcake. I shouldn’t feel bad for forgetting things and making mistakes.

I don’t feel guilty for wanting to live a quiet life, and nor should you.

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