Feeling worthless is one of the deepest and darkest emotions you will encounter. During your lifetime, you will feel these emotions, so you must be prepared.
Unfortunately, life isn’t fair, and you will find yourself feeling worthless without warning. I think it’s mostly due to how we view life itself. We are dependent on so many things in able to feel our worth. But it does go much deeper than that too. Feeling worthless derives from different areas and reasons.
Why we feel the way we do
You can overcome feelings of worthlessness, but you have to first know where they come from. A good hard look into our own thoughts, feelings, and emotions will reveal the culprit. Our character can help us pull back the veil of feeling worthless, and proclaim great truths. Here are a few of those overlooked truths to help you get started.
As long as we compare ourselves to others and feel ugly in these comparisons, we will also find ourselves feeling worthless. As we grow older, it becomes easier to fall into these traps because we will then envy youth in addition to other comparable features. Comparing looks, personalities, and intellect with other people can make us feel less than others, and this, in turn, will breed feelings of worthlessness.
To combat these feelings, we must understand that no one is perfect, and the perfection you may see in others is not real. Beneath the attractive details that you feel you don’t have, lies the faults and imperfections. Just like you, everyone else is full of doubts and faults. Also, with age comes wisdom and strength of character, and this is something that youth cannot compare with. This should help you alleviate some of your worthless feelings.
2. Losing identity
We start feeling worthless when we lose our identity. During life, we go through different phases and chapters. Within these chapters, we take on various roles. We may be daughters for some time, then wives, then mothers, and so on. If one of these roles is shaken, we may start to feel worthless.
For example, we are no longer wives when we are divorced. Although this shouldn’t change the way we feel about our own self-worth, it can take a heavy hit. We may ask ourselves, “Why did he leave me?” or “Why wasn’t I good enough?”, or even, “Why did my marriage fail?” These questions place doubt in our minds about what sort of wife we were. Now that we’re no longer a wife, what are we? Do you see where this could be a great influence on worth?
In order to heal from this negative circumstance, you have to understand who you are outside of your status. For instance, you might not always be a wife, but you will always be someone’s daughter, son, brother, sister or etcetera.
Beyond that, however, is you, the real you. You do not base your worth depending on your family or social status. You base your worth according to who you are with YOU and no one else. Close your eyes and separate your existence from any other living being. That is who you really are.
Early in life, you may have encountered a huge amount of criticism. If this happened, you learned how to deal with it and adjust accordingly….or you didn’t. As an adult, you may have carried this criticism with you and let it sour. Now, all the healthy critique you receive is met with bitterness. You find yourself feeling worthless ever time you make a mistake.
Sometimes worthlessness does come from past criticisms. It can grow and accumulate in insults over the years, building into a self-depreciation that’s hard to heal.
It can be done, however, but it does take time to realize that everyone makes mistakes. The reason why it takes so long to heal this type of feeling is that society sets such high standards and covers up mistakes as fast as they are made. Instead of owning up to our problems, it seems we lie, cover up, and downplay what we’ve done wrong.
When someone is honest about their mistakes, they are viewed as deeply flawed instead of commendable. This horrible skew in life hinders progress and singles out people to drown in worthlessness. We must change our entire mindsets to fix this.
Basically, negativity is a form of being trapped. After encountering so many bad situations and people, we become programmed to think everything will go wrong. Then we start to see life as worthless. We find it pointless to try and do better because everything will turn out negatively anyway. So, what’s the point? The point is, it cannot be bad all the time. Life just doesn’t work that way. So, as soon as you feel that your sinking, just remember…
Life will take a turn for the better, soon, and you will be flooded with positive feelings once more. This is why drowning in negativity should be avoided at all costs. If you’re lost in all the bad feelings, the good things won’t have such a positive impact when they do happen.
But to keep from saying, “just be positive”, try this instead: Try faking positive actions and reactions a bit at a time until it starts to come naturally. As positive chemicals trickle through your body, you will want more of them, and thus become addicted to being hopeful. Hey, it’s worth a try.
5. Mental illness
If you suffer from a mental health disorder such as depression, feelings of worthlessness will come often. You also won’t be able to pinpoint a specific action which causes this…because there is none. There can be triggers, but these triggers may be random and hard to discover. This is one thing that makes mental illness so deadly.
To gain a firm standing when feeling worthless, try to help others. For some reason, helping other people can boost your feelings of self-worth. Also, stay busy with things you enjoy even if you feel like you hate them at the time.
Yes, depression has the ability to make you hate everything, but your memory reminds you otherwise. Be creative, write, and if all else fails, take a nap. Sometimes you just need a fresh perspective on your life.
6. Health issues
Believe it or not, your physical health can make you feel worthless. For instance, if you’ve lost your ability to walk, eat certain foods, or do otherwise enjoyable activities, you may start to feel like nothing matters anymore. Your health can also play a more direct role in feeling worthless as well when chemicals and hormones are out of balance.
Make sure you stay on top of your health with tests and annual physicals. This will alert you to any problems which can, in turn, affect your mental health. If you’ve experienced a huge physical change which prohibits you from doing things you used to enjoy, then find something different you can enjoy as you are. It might not ever be the same, but finding a source of joy will at least lift some of the darkness from your mood. Again, helping others can prove beneficial in this area.
I think we all feel worthless sometimes
Maybe you don’t know why you feel worthless, but you just do. This can be the case. Whatever is causing these feelings cannot stop you from trying to eliminate them. Despite what’s happening in your life or what has happened, you can choose to do better and be better. If you need help, that’s fine. The most important thing you should always remember is…
Never give up!
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.