It’s incredible how much we can deceive ourselves without even being aware of it. These 5 signs will show you when you are lying to yourself.
No one likes a liar. But what if the biggest liar in your life was the person looking back at you in the mirror? It sounds ridiculous, I know. But the truth is, we lie to ourselves all the time. We lie because facing the truth can be too hard. We lie to make our lives a little easier and we lie because we are afraid to face the truth and take responsibility for our lives.
Here are 5 signs you might be lying to yourself.
1. What you say doesn’t match what you feel
Have you ever said, “no, of course, I don’t mind” when in fact you do mind – a lot? These little lies lead to an unhappy life. We try to persuade ourselves that we are happy about things when we are actually uncomfortable with them. We believe we should want to do certain things, so we convince ourselves that we do – but we don’t.
Often, we try to convince ourselves that we are not hurt, angry or resentful, but our feelings tell a different story. As the tears roll down our faces and we slam the door, we are lying to ourselves by saying everything is fine. When your emotions do not match what you are saying, you are lying to yourself.
It’s worth examining these feelings to find out what triggers them and where they come from as they can lead us to a more authentic life.
2. You are not quite sure who you really are
Have you ever found yourself with a free hour and wondered what on earth to do with it? You can’t remember what brings you joy anymore. Or perhaps you can’t remember the last time you had a free minute let alone a free hour! If this is true for you, you might be lying to yourself about how you want your life to be.
If you don’t know what makes you happy anymore, then you have lost touch with your authentic self. You are probably spending so much time looking after other people’s needs that you are neglecting your own. You may say that this is fine and its how you want to spend your life – but you might be lying to yourself. We are not put on this earth to only take care of others. Each of us has a purpose in life.
To find your way back to a more authentic life start thinking about what lights you up and feeds your soul. Make a note of any activities you love to do or are drawn to and make time for them in your life.
Look at the people you admire or even envy. What is it about their lives that you would love to have in yours. Now, start moving towards it one step at a time.
3. You say you never have time
If you often find yourself saying you don’t have time for the things you want to do, you are lying to yourself. We all have the same amount of time in our lives, yet some people manage to follow their dreams, so why can’t you?
Yes, I know you have lots of responsibilities and commitments and life is hard. But if you really feel you don’t have time for what is important to you, then you need to adjust your priorities.
Think about what you might let go of. On your deathbed, you won’t be worrying about how long you spent at the office or how tidy the house was. You won’t remember the gourmet meals you cooked or the time you spend finding exactly the right paint colour for your lounge or the perfect gift for a friend’s wedding.
Think about what you will be proud of at the end of your life and make time to do it. Consider the experiences you would love to look back on and make time for them. Think of the relationships you will look back at fondly and cherish them today.
4. You often feel there must be more to life
If you often feel there must be more to life, then you are not living an authentic life. When you wake up with a feeling of dread about all the chores and responsibilities ahead of you, then you are living life for others rather than yourself.
You must make room in your life for you. If the things that you are doing are not satisfying you, then perhaps they are the wrong goals for you.
In addition, if you say you want certain things but don’t act to achieve them, then you are probably lying to yourself about how much you want them. For example, if you say you want to be healthier but continue to eat junk food and never exercise, perhaps you don’t really want that goal enough right now.
Maybe other things are a priority. Often, we choose goals because we think we should want them. Stop this now and start working towards the goals YOU really WANT to achieve.
5. You can never admit that you are wrong
If you find yourself constantly blaming others for what is wrong with your life, you are lying to yourself. We are all responsible for our own lives. Yes, bad things happen that are not under our control. However, we have a responsibility to take charge of our own lives.
If we constantly blame others, we never give ourselves a chance to learn from our mistakes.
Living an authentic life is not easy. Society, family and friends create many expectations we feel we must live up to. In addition, we have responsibilities we must meet.
However, there should be some time in our lives when we can be the person we are meant to be. We should make room for this person. This is a scary thing to do.
It’s easier to blame others for our lack of free time and opportunities. It’s also easier to keep lying to ourselves and telling ourselves that we don’t have the time, money or talent to fulfil our dreams. But we must be courageous if we want to live our lives to the full.